Rant - anxiety/fed up, need some tough love

[SorryForTheRant]

Hi all, sorry for what is going to be a rant, but just looking for some reassurance I’m not the only pregnant person that feels this way (I know I’m not that unique!)

32 weeks with first after previous miscarriage and FED UP. For background I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, and am under the care of the perinatal mental health team. I’m just so sick of the constant worry that being pregnant brings…

I’m sick of worrying at every twinge. I’m sick of worrying at every lack of twinge. I have great support but I’m sick of being the only person that can make decisions on what feels ‘normal’ (because obviously no one else can feel him move!) - I feel like I’m going to get one of these decisions wrong and hurt my baby. But I’m also scared of making the decision to go in and having hospital staff tell me I’m being ridiculous - I haven’t been in for reduced movements yet but I’m worried if I start I’ll be in every day because I’m a ridiculous person.

I just feel like all of this pressure is on me alone and I’m feeling like I’m failing him already, or he’s not going to be born healthy because I’ll do something wrong. We were supposed to be in our new house this summer but because of Brexit/HGV delays he is now going to be born while we are still living with in laws - they are amazing and so helpful and haven’t complained once but I feel like I’ve let my son down at the first hurdle by not having a home ready for him to come to.

Please understand I know how lucky I am to have gotten this far with a healthy pregnancy and to have the support I do, I know some people have it so so much worse, I just feel worn down by it all and need a virtual slap and/or hug for perspective

Almost 28 weeks pregnant with my first, after previous miscarriage too.

I know exactly what your saying and I am TERRIFIED of everything, and no one seems to understand 😅

I went in for my first reduced movements appointment at 25+6, but that's because I have an anterior placenta and I wasn't feeling any kicking for around a week.

They were so lovely. I told them I was embarrassed for being there so early and sat me down and were like, coming in for reduced movements is absolutely fine, some people come in once, some people will come in nearer to 20/25 times during the pregnancy. Everyone's different and they would prefer someone comes in more often to make sure everything is ok.

I know someone that went in 16 times in total, and she was induced 2 days ago at 37 weeks due to constant reduced movements - she said no one made her feel bad or stupid for going in so often.

I hope this helps x

You are not alone !

You haven't failed your child it doesn't matter if you live with in laws or in a mansion aslong as you have done your best which you clearly have that is all that can be asked if you

As for the health antiserum of your baby shows your just desperate for the baby to be ok and fingers crossed baby will be well.

If you have ANY concerns about a pain you are feeling then absolutely call your midwife , community midwife, GP or the nhs hotline. That is what they are there for. You shouldn't be feeling all this weight in your shoulders and mental health is very difficult to deal with let alone when you are pregnant. Please just contact any care provider mentioned and explain your concerns , you shouldn't feel embarrassed or anything for asking the question. You and your baby is all that matter and calling you and expressing your concerns or asking a question about your pain is NOT STUPID AND YOU ARE COMPLETELY ALLOWED TO DO SO.

Just remember you haven't got long left and your baby will be with you soon !

@dg93 @Strangevipers thank you both so so much, it’s so nice to know you’re not alone even when you know realistically you’re overanalysing!!!

Everyone just seems to say “you’ll be fine” or “is that not just normal” and I’m like WELL I DONT KNOW WHAT NORMAL IS, THERE IS SOMETHING MOVING INSIDE ME SOMETIMES. AND SOMETIMES NOT

Both of these replies are really helpful and I massively appreciate it

I'm 32 weeks pregnant with twins after a previous miscarriage and you're definitely not alone!

I've been in for reduced movements half a dozen times since 26 weeks because I have no idea what's normal! No one can tell me and it's so hard with two babies to distinguish between them and it means there's no regular pattern.

All the midwives have been lovely and never made me feel stupid or embarrassed, even when everything's fine. They wouldn't let me leave unless I felt reassured, even offered that I can go back if I still feel anxious and can be monitored again. I always put off phoning them but I always feel much better after I do.

Also, just because other people have worse pregnancies doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid. I feel grateful that I've had a very uncomplicated pregnancy so far but I'm completely fed up.

We're in the final stretch though and soon our babies will be here and there'll be a whole new load of worries!

Hugs!