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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Nearly 8 weeks and freaking out

6 replies

Firsttimemum1313 · 27/11/2021 12:21

Hey, this is my first post. I've been reading similar threads which have helped a little. I'm 36 and have been with my partner only a few months. He's very loving and supportive and excited to be a father again. When I was looking for a relationship, I was looking for someone to start a family with. We both knew our actions were likely to result in pregnancy and we both wanted it. We were both surprised it happened first time. I was coping ok until the last few days. The nausea has been overwhelming. It's 24/7 and almost painful. I broke down in tears, most likely hormones, and my partner supported me and made me feel better. But I couldn't face work or leaving my home. So I've taken the last two days off and I have to go back in today because I can't afford my rent if I don't. I spent last night crying my eyes out. I'm so sick of the nausea. I have a vomiting phobia and have learnt how to not be sick so I haven't actually been sick. But the nausea is constant fear of being sick. I can't tell work I am pregnant. I was on a temp contract that thankfully got made permanat but not for a couple of days. I'm scared if I tell them before then they will just let my contract end and not renew because I won't be able to continue in my role (it's quite physical). I feel guilty that if i tell them when my contract is permanant in a few days they will think badly of me like I planned it. Even though I won't be entitled to the company maternity anyway. I feel bad that I will have to move departments at the busiest time of the year when they're already struggling.
I will need to give up my council flat to move in with my partner, he has also offered me a job with him doing something I actually love. It sounds idyllic and perfect but I'm terrified of giving up my independance. I've only had my flat 6 months and it took me 6 years to get it. What if we don't work living together an I end up with no home and no job and a baby? I know he would support me anyway he can he's a lovely person so that wouldn't actually happen but it would be incredibly stressful. I wanted this pregnancy, I was ready to start a family but now I'm freaking out and can't stop crying. I believe the constant nausea has been a trigger for this depressive mood. I need it to stop. I've even thought about ending the pregnancy. But have not seriously entertained the idea. I feel guilty I just want it to end even though I wanted this. Only my best friend and two trusted colleagues (I barely know) know that I'm pregnant. My other half wants to wait until the scan to announce which I agree with but it makes it's hard. But even if people knew I don't think I could tell them how I feel. I know they will just feel helpless to understand. And I don't want to be whiny.
I would happily take all the boob pain, heartburn etc if the nausea would just stop. It's like a fog. I look at myself a week ago and don't even recognize that person.

I eat small frequent meals, I eat before I get out of bed. I'm taking pregnancy vitamins and as of today I'm taking vit b6 and ginger capsules. I'm using bands as of today too. I have felt a little better today nausea wise but it feels like its just matter of time before it comes back. I know this depression is probably just from the hormone dump. I just wasn't prepared for this. I never see this coming. I've had mild nausea from week 4 so I'm hoping I've reached the peak early.

I know there's nothing that can actually help me and I just have to ride it out. So this is more just me getting this of my chest.

OP posts:
Garman · 27/11/2021 13:22

Are you taking pregnacare vitamins? They can make nausea worse so just want to check if it's that brand.

You can try your gp for medication and if it's debilitating, even if it's nausea and not vomiting. I had this, constant nausea which was then joined by heartburn later in pregnancy, it was definitely making me depressed. I didn't get the drugs as where I am it would've been €100+ a month, and I/we/doctor kept hoping and thinking it might stop soon.

Also, if you did end up vomiting just be prepared that it likely won't make you feel better, as the nausea is hormonal, not caused by something you ate or illness etc.

Firsttimemum1313 · 27/11/2021 13:33

Hey, Im taking seven seas pregnancy vitamins. I'll do a search and see if anyone has an issue with those too.

I'm sorry you couldn't get the meds you needed :( Thankfully I have the NHS, however getting a docs appointment is near impossible when you're working as it can't be booked in advance around here. I'm off Monday so i might see if I can get in.

Yeah I had a feeling it wouldn't help. My partner suggested just being sick and it might help but i can feel it wouldn't. It would just increase the phobia too i think.

OP posts:
Stade197 · 27/11/2021 13:33

Ginger biscuits helped me a bit, im not a great fan of them but having them nearby to nibble on did help. I hate being sick so i really struggled to deal with the nausea all you can do is ride it out and remember that one day soon it will suddenly dissapear.

My situation was slightly different as ive been with my partner 14 years and we live together but the thought of giving up my job and not having my own income was so scary and i did question whether this was all a mistake and how would i cope, baby is 14 weeks old now so im on mat leave but know i cant return to my job when mat leave is up, it still feels a little scary but when you have that little baby in your arms it does all feel better, its like nothing else matters and everything else gets a little less scary and you just know that everything will work out ❤

laalaaleelee · 27/11/2021 14:37

Speak to your doctor OP, I had awful nausea and it really is horrendous. Tell them how much it safe to be you mentally and putting your job at risk if you get pushback, there are medications that are to take.

Holskey · 27/11/2021 19:11

Go to your gp as a priority! I'm 8+4 and on meds now because my sickness got so bad. It's not a magic cure but it's much better and manageable now.

When you've sorted that issue, you can address everything else that seems like a problem with a fresher perspective.

Don't worry about what your job thinks. You're doing the right thing in that regard and they'd be pretty selfish and callous to expect you to do anything else.

Don't make any plans to give up your flat until you're ready. Please don't do it just because of the baby. Take time to see how things go and to make sure it's right for you. He can be around as often as you like so nobody has to miss out.

Firsttimemum1313 · 28/11/2021 19:11

Thank you for all the messages. I'm feeling much better today. Yesterday the nausea eased and today I only had a little when I woke up and the rest of the day I've felt fairly normal. It could be a coincidence or it could be that I started taking b6 and ginger capsules two days ago. Will have to wait and see. But for now I'm just glad to have my mind back. You're right about focussing on one thing at a time. Now the nausea has cleared everything else feels less overwhelming.

I have until April at least to make decisions. I don't need to think about it right now. I'm going to try and forget about pregnancy stuff for a few days.

I always tell myself things will pass but it's so hard to believe it when you're stuck in the middle of it. I know things will work out in the end :)

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