Intimacy during pregnancy

[anonymous12345667]

Myself and my partner were very intimate
before I fell pregnant and had sex multiple
times a day. This continued up until around
the second trimester. I'm a nursery nurse
so my job is very physically demanding on
top of this being my first pregnancy aswell,
completely unknowing of how my body
reacts during pregnancy. My energy levels
since being pregnant have been incredibly
low, I've had to go on iron tablets for most
of it so sex and being physical in that way
is usually the last thing on my mind but
I can't help but feel guilty and anxious that
my partner feels pushed away and not
wanted even though I tell him I love him
everyday. I feel so anxious that he doesn't
feel loved anymore and even more anxious
that he might not want me anymore once
my body has changed. I don't know what
to do or say to help ease my anxiety and
possibly my partners'. Please help

Why are you feeling guilty and anxious because you’re having less sex? Is he making you feel like this, or making comments? Or are these just your own insecurities?

@NatriumChloride

Why are you feeling guilty and anxious because you’re having less sex? Is he making you feel like this, or making comments? Or are these just your own insecurities?

It's my own insecurity that I'm making him feel pushed away and not wanted. He's just as loving to me and tells me he loves me but sometimes when I say I'm tired and I'm sorry he says it's okay but the tone feels like he's upset by it and I'd hate for him to feel unwanted because I love him more than anything and I need him and he says the exact same thing back I'm just so insecure and anxious at the moment, I'm just scared of losing him

@Ionlydomassiveones

“I can't help but feel guilty and anxious that my partner feels pushed away and not wanted even though I tell him I love him everyday.”

What is he doing to ensure you have a relaxed pregnancy and are getting enough rest? How is helping with your anxiety? You are going through a momentous life change and if he loves you he’ll understand. Is he sulking? Because that’s not ‘love’, that’s being a coercive dick. You can show love to one another in different ways - it doesn’t necessarily have to be sex.

To be fair, he's been amazing he's been cooking for me for when I get in from work and he does tell me he loves me too everyday but I can just tell sometimes that when I say I'm too tired to do anything he's a bit disheartened by it and I don't want him to feel pushed away because I love him more than anything along with this baby and I can't wait to be a family, I'm just scared of ruining it by making him feel unloved by me

Have you tried speaking to him about how you’re feeling? It sounds like you need some more verbal reassurance from him & start asking yourself what evidence you have that he feels the way you think he feels. Does he make comments? Does he say he’s disappointed, if not then I do think this could partly be in your head. I also think you need to start thinking of ways to get out of this sex = love mindset as well because your relationship might change once the baby is here so it might be like this for a while. Try to think of other ways other then sex that you can connect so you continue to feel loved and secure & you feel like you’re making him feel the same. Also, if him leaving you because you are too tired to have sex with him because you are pregnant is a genuine possibility then tbh I would say good riddance & get rid because that’s toxic & no one should be with someone like that.