How do I stop worrying?

[Capricorn8990]

Heya all,

Bit of background about me. I have diagnosed OCD with terrible intrusive thoughts. I have been told I have emotional dysregulation too.

Found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago. Since then horrible intrusive thoughts have come into my head. I've been worried about an ectopic pregnancy due to pains in my shoulders. Had an early scan and they saw everything in the right place and a heartbeat at 6 weeks 3 days.

I have been suffering with constant nausea and some vomiting. Today hasn't been as bad so I've ordered noodles and chips from the Chinese which I've been able to eat but cannot stomach the thought of other food. I have been prescribed anti sickness from doctor too.

I'm just worried as my nausea hasn't been as bad today and my boobs not as sore.

I'm really scared about MC. Is there any statics around MC after a heartbeat being seen?

I cannot control the thoughts and I'm taking sertraline as normal. I have my first midwife appointment on 6th December and I'll be 10 weeks.

Is there anything that anyone can offer in terms of support that I can get or apps I can use to take my mind off of things?

I'm gonna be such a stressed pregnant lady I can't deal with it 😞 I just want to be normal. I know women without my condition worry anyways but it's just made worse.

Thank everyone in advance.

Hi @Capricorn8990. Given you've been diagnosed with OCD, I won't give you reassurance as I'm aware that's not helpful. Worry affects all pregnant women but with your condition, I would be careful to make sure you have a secure support network in place.

Are you in therapy at the moment? If not, I suggest looking for resources now to help you manage. Make sure your midwife knows about your OCD as soon as possible. They're there to help, and perhaps you might benefit from being referred to a specialist mental health midwife if your trust has them.

Good luck to you!

I should also add a note of caution about being on this site. I know it's an amazing community of people going through the same thing and that's really comforting, but it's so easy to spiral reading other women's stories, and lots of posters hoping to help you won't have any real understanding of your condition and without meaning to at all may inadvertently make things worse for you.

Reaching out to professionals and people who understand OCD in real life is a much better chance of getting what you need. You can also try mindfulness apps like Headspace, but I'm not sure of what their success rate is for people with OCD and I don't want to recommend something that may frustrate you even further!

You might find it helpful to ask your GP about a referral to your local perinatal mental health service - they can be a really helpful resource for women with mental health difficulties in pregnancy.

OP, I have OCD too and have constant worry about losing him even now I'm 24 weeks along. I think this worrying is partially just part of parenthood though - I was previously worrying about the "12 week" dating/confirmation scan, then the 20 week anomaly scan, next I expect I'll next be worrying him arriving safely during birth, then SIDS for the first year...

But I also think anxiety driven intrusive thoughts are sadly just part of living with OCD, especially when you want and care about something so much but can't do a lot about it or really be in control (it's my first/only baby/likely last chance at age 40 after 3 years of IVF on my own as a Solo Mum so I really want this).

I expect you will be offered to be referred to the peri-natal mental health team at your first midwife appointment anyway - I was automatically as they ask your medical history and I'm on long term anti -depressants too. I personally didn't want this as I feel fairly stable with managing it/coping strategies after years of therapy and with the anti- depressant help, but they have said it always an option at any time if I need it. You could ask at your telephone booking appointment with the midwife to be referred asap if you think it might help you?

@deliwoman1 thank you for your kind words.

I am on the NHS waiting list for therapy at the moment. I was self finding but they couldn't accommodate my new work hours and the price increased and I need at least 2 sessions a month.

I had a telephone assessment with the adult community mental health team in October but they still haven't sent through my assessment summary which I'm pretty annoyed about as they said they'd send me some self help work..

I have been very wary about reading stuff on here. My mind catches something that's been said and it holds on to it creating negative thoughts.

I may pay for a private scan at 8/9 weeks or so to put my mind at rest.. hopefully.

My midwife app is 6th December so I will definitely ask for a referral to the perinatal mental health team as I am taking sertraline xx

@Scirocco thank you for your reply. I definitely will be asking for a referral xx

@IamnotwhouthinkIam

I'm sorry that you've been going through the same. It's horrible isn't it? I feel like we're extremely similar in our thinking. Wouldn't it be lovely to not worry. Even just for a day?!

That's so awesome you're doing this solo. I think you're amazing. Remember that!

Ahh yes I take sertraline so I would think I should get offered a referral. Do you know what sort of stuff they offer?

I think if things get worse with my thoughts then I'll call up and ask for a referral before my face to face appointment xx

@Capricorn8990 - Thank you . Yep - I'm always surprised but happy if I manage to get a very rare day that's worry free! I've had OCD since I was 11 (it's been suggested that a severe physical illness I had might have affected my brain chemistry at a crucial time in development) so I can only vaguely remember being "normal" before then.

I'm not sure exactly what the peri-natal mental health team offer, sorry. I should have asked when they said they could refer me, but the initial in person midwife appointment can take a long time as it is (as they need to ask a lot of questions about your medical history) so I was a little overwhelmed! Plus it might be slightly dependant on area, but I think they are often specialist perinatal mental health nurses or psychologists and can offer things similar to general mental health services ("talking" therapy and medication help/reviews)- but focusing specifically on coping with mental health symptoms during pregnancy and once baby is here.

TW - Hi ladies I normally have a regular 28 day cycle I have been experiencing quite a few symptoms such a nausea which lasted for about 3 days at different times of the day. Vivid dreams/ nightmares and would wake up and remember everything and feel relieved as they felt so real which is really odd for me. I’ve had a lot of pressure / pulling in my uterus too.

Thursday morning I had achy discomfort which felt like AF was going to arrive but not the usual cramps. My boobs feel extremely heavy and just feel like there in the way when I’m trying to sleep.

I was also constipated for about 4 days and ended up taking lactulose help with my bowel momvements.

This evening I’ve had twinges on the right side and this feeling in my uterus is back again however I felt alot of cm so ran to the toilet thinking AF had arrived absolutely nothing. I’m 2 days late and have had BFN on FRER and CB digital.

I would really appreciate any advice given apologies for the long post.

@IamnotwhouthinkIam oh wow, that is interesting that you may know the reason behind your OCD as often the reason is never given or known.

No worries at all, I just thank you for your replies and advice on this. It does sound quite intense but I guess they need to know everything in order to treat each person properly.

Best of luck with your pregnancy xx

@Staceyreign heya, you may want to post a new thread yourself as you've posted on an existing one.

I would take a test when your period isn't here for a week as sometimes HCG levels aren't strong enough to detect in a pregnancy test xx

Thank you I’m new to this and have no idea how to use it 😂 x

Best of luck to you too! @Capricorn8990

@Staceyreign don't worry! It's confusing sometimes 🤣 hopefully you get your answer soon xx

Thank you hun how do I do it ? X

@Staceyreign are you on your phone or desktop? Xx

Phone xx

@Staceyreign on the home page there should be an icon on the right hand side which says new xx