Partner still not allowed to stay after birth

[CatGos]

Anyone outside of Oxfordshire still not allowed to have partner stay after birth? Ox hospitals are making partners leave as soon as you transfer to postnatal. We are so so worried about this, about dad (in our case) not being able to bond with baby, and not being able to help me at all.

OP depending on the time you give birth this was normal well before Covid. My friend gave birth at 5am, her DH had to leave at 7am when she was moved to the ward and couldn't return until 10am when visiting started.

I had my baby last week. She was born at 1am, dh kicked out at 7am, we were discharged at 12. They are so keen to get you home at the moment that you likely wouldn't be in alone for long at all unless there were serious complications.

When I have have gone on the post natal (3 times) ward it has always been 2/3/4am in the morning (thanks kids) and DH was not allowed to stay as new mothers and babies were recovering/sleeping.
Frankly I think he was grateful after 16 plus hours with me in labour. He was able to go eat, shower and sleep for a few hours.

My dd was born during covid and spent 14 days in special care during which her dad could only see her for an hour a day. It has had zero affect on their bond.

There was a thread about people regretting having their child in a place where partners can stay recently and how it disturbed their recovery.

I had an August 2020 baby and DH was kicked out straight after birth, with 3 hours visiting time each day. He and she have a lovely bond, although I really struggled without him - it was a very traumatic birth and I felt really scared and alone afterwards. I wouldn't have minded who was with me but I needed another person there and felt really abandoned. Despite all this though like I say DH and DD have a really lovely bond so I wouldn't worry about that at all

I'm now pregnant again and due in May, and I'm concerned about restrictions as 1) this will be a ELCS birth due to last time and 2) I'm really concerned about how I'm going to feel. So there's the practical aspect of the ELCS/immobility as well as the emotional concern about a second birth/antenatal stay bringing up trauma from last time.

I know there will be thousands upon thousands who say that they much preferred not having other people's visitors around, but I found my postnatal stay one of the hardest times of my life. I spent the week we were kept in in tears and I would have given anything to have someone - DH, a friend, a relative, anyone - with me. So I'd caution that just because most people are fine without someone with them, doesn't mean that we should adopt it as the ideal practice.

We had our little girl end of 2019, she was a prem born at 32 weeks and was in the NICU. It was 3 days before my husband was able to hold her. She is a full daddy's girl and they have a very strong bond.

Although it's obvouisly not ideal for your hubby to have to leave, I wouldn't worry about the long term impact. It will all be fine.

Essex here - partners were restricted to 1-8pm visiting- it was so much better than when partners could stay… x 8 adults and 4 babies on a ward = no sleep for anyone! Plus selfish visitors using the patient bathroom, just want you want when you are trying to change your bloody pad for the 6th time, being greeted with the toilet seat up…
You will be fine OP, just make sure to take your own drugs so you can survive til discharge

I had my twins in May 2020, so "proper" Covid babies. Dad has to leave within the hour after they were born, and he also he wasn't allowed to visit whilst I was in transitional care for 5 days after their birth. So he technically didn't get to see them properly until they were nearly a week old - 18 months later and they have the best bond!
Don't worry OP

When my eldest was born 6 years ago so long before covid my husband was sent home when I was moved to the ward and only allowed in for visiting hours. He is the favourite parent so I don’t think any critical bonding was lost for the two days we were kept in

I had my baby Sept 2020 and my partner was only allowed to stay until 8pm. I was quite nervous but it was fine in the end. It felt a lot calmer and a lot more peaceful once all the dads had left. There were two that stayed after the leaving time and the loud noises and constant talking were driving me mad!! One spent 20 minutes arguing with the midwife about why he couldn’t stay overnight. I was relieved once they finally left.

I also made sure my partner went home and got everything ready, had a good dinner and a full nights sleep and was fully recharged by the time he picked us both up the next day. I found that helpful.

I’ve had 5 over 20 years, generally it was common that dads always left after transfer to the ward. Better that way, no One want someone else’s bloke on the other side of a curtain when they’re having their stitches looked at and being asked about bowel movements. It won’t interfere with bonding, I didn’t even hold my first till she was 3 days old. You will be fine, he will be fine.

Many women do not feel comfortable with men staying on the ward - unless you have a private room visiting hours only makes more sense. You'll be fine btw, my exh didn't see dd until she was 19 days old due to being stuck overseas, they bonded just fine and I was able to learn to breastfeed without interference from a well meaning but completely useless h