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Pregnancy

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Original poster

Wedding - baby will be 3 months - don’t know what to expect

20 replies

Furmummy · 15/11/2021 16:11

We have been invited to a good friends wedding weekend for 2 nights. Baby will be 3 1/2 months. I have suggested I won’t be able to stay either night, as don’t know what to expect but will definitely be at the wedding. Bride and groom are being lovely and no pressure and said they will keep me a room for 1 night if I feel up to it, but can decide nearer the time how I feel.
I have already asked mil to look after the baby while we are at the wedding as I really want to go, but feel it’s unrealistic to stay over night as hopefully breastfeeding and this is my first child snd no idea what to expect or how I will feel. Also mil is not far from the wedding which is a bonus.
Any advice? When did you first leave baby overnight? Am I being realistic thinking I won’t want too at 3 1/2 months - thanks in advance

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JustAnotherUserinParadise · 15/11/2021 16:18

Any chance you can take the baby to the wedding? At that age they're pretty portable, limited awareness of where they are so staying overnight probably ok, and not really in a proper routine anyway so a late night won't be too much of a problem!
I was exclusively breastfeeding and no way I would have left dd at that age! (9 months now and I probably still wouldn't)

Original poster

Furmummy · 15/11/2021 16:22

@JustAnotherUserinParadise I am afraid not as no children allowed .. Yeo that’s what I thought, would you have managed for during the day while at the wedding? I really hope I can attend but maybe I am being unrealistic x

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HobnobbingAboutHobnobs · 15/11/2021 16:26

I think it very much depends on how your baby takes to a bottle, and whether you are able to express. I was very lucky in that my daughter accepted a bottle very early on and that I was able to express quite a lot of milk. I left her overnight for the first time at just before 3 months (to go to a concert 200 miles away...) and it all went really smoothly.
It's great that your friend is happy to let you confirm nearer the time, nobody - including you! - knows how you will feel yet. Play it by ear, and see how you feel when baby is a couple of months old.

GinnyBee · 15/11/2021 16:26

Same, I'll be going to SIL's wedding when our baby is just shy of 4 months (according to due date). We've already booked an air bnb for the weekend and will be having little one with us.

Just take the baby with you :) all other guests will be cooing and gushing! Leaving a baby that young might be tricky, although as I don't have one yet I don't actually know much about it. But a friend of mine from the US took her 3-month-old on a trip to Europe and he was fine.

GinnyBee · 15/11/2021 16:30

Hmm, on the 'no children' rule I would probably ask and confirm, as such young babies are harder to leave behind and won't really be a burden at the wedding wither. I had a 'no kids' rule at my wedding, but had a couple of newborns attending. The 'no kids' was really for children old enough to want entertainment, likely to get bored, need their own food, etc. which we weren't prepared to arrange.

PurBal · 15/11/2021 16:31

At that age I think either take them or don’t go to be honest. I’ve been to two weddings with DS who is exclusively breastfed, one at 4 weeks and the other at 4 months (last week). The first one he fed almost constantly including during the service and witching hour during the reception. At 4 months he was a bit poorly but the noise from the dance floor was too much for him. Both times we arranged a room either in or close to the venue. Not purely for seeping in but for nappy changes, feeding and just a quiet space for DS. At 4 weeks he stayed “up” with us until we left at 930. At 4 months he was completely done by 630 so DH and I could go to the room put him to bed and “tag team” for the evening. It was hard work both times but it meant we could enjoy the event. DS wakes around twice to feed in the night and I would say that’s pretty “good”. It is definitely doable but if it’s a strict “no kids” (as opposed to babes in arms only) then I wouldn’t go sadly. Good luck!

Tuliptulip · 15/11/2021 16:36

Are you sure the no children rule applies to breast fed babies? Lots of weddings (including ours) wouldn’t include breastfed babies in a no-child rule for obvious reasons.

MajorCarolDanvers · 15/11/2021 16:45

At 3 1/2 months I would have managed one overnight but not 2. I was happy leaving mine overnight with grandparents from about 6 weeks old.

I breastfed and was able to pump enough for expressed milk to be given in bottles. I would have had enough supply to manage one night.

The other thing to bear in mind is that if you go you will need to take your pump and express every few hours or you will be really uncomfortable.

And not all breastfed babies will take a bottle.

Like others have suggested check whether the no children rule covers breastfed babies.

Original poster

Furmummy · 15/11/2021 17:17

Thanks everyone. All really interesting and helpful opinions. I think I will have a chat to them and think about things more once baby has arrived x

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Amijustagrump · 15/11/2021 18:01

We have a wedding when baby will be a bit bigger at 5 months, we have decided to leave baby with my parents- however we will be going back to theirs that night as its reasonably close to the venue so although they will be doing main childcare duties we aren't away from him. Would it be possible for you MIL to have a hotel even nearer to the venue that you then stay at too?

Amijustagrump · 15/11/2021 18:02

Just reread and my advice doesn't help at all! Sorry

Original poster

Furmummy · 15/11/2021 18:46

Haha it totally does, think we will leave at mil (if I am able to) or at least for part of the day. She is only ten mins from the wedding venue. But the more I think; it’s unrealistic to consider staying over. Everyone’s advice has been really helpful and made me consider different options. Thank you

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UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 15/11/2021 18:49

I'd only go to the service at 3.5 months if it's no children. If you are fully breastfeeding at that point you probably won't be able to go more than four hours maximum without either feeding or pumping at that point (your breasts will become painful and possibly leak).

al1n · 15/11/2021 18:51

Def take the baby! Strap them in a sling and let them sleep all day while you have a champagne. And stay! Hotel stay with a 3 month old is fine, bring a side sleeper

Doveyouknow · 15/11/2021 19:05

I would've struggled at that age, both mine were feeding fairly regularly at that age. Pumping enough for a day / night would have been a lot of work. Plus you might not want to be away from them at that early stage.

CustardGoodJamGoodMeatGood · 15/11/2021 19:20

We left DD at 8 weeks with my DM for a night, but I wasn't breastfeeding. I would wait and see how feeding goes, how comfortable you feel leaving them and whether you want to EBF or pump and bottle feed as well

PittaMyBread · 15/11/2021 20:51

I left mine baby for a night at three months old for a girls weekend, felt amazing! We were combi feeding by then though so she had some pumped milk and also formula.

SillyBry · 15/11/2021 21:18

I think annoyingly this is a decision you'll struggle to make until baby arrives and you know whether they are easy going or not! ;-)

My second is 9 weeks currently and I would happily leave her for a period of time as although she's exclusively breastfed, I am expressing and she will happily take a bottle. However, I am feeding so frequently that a day without feeding would be super uncomfortable! If I go out for the evening, I have to pump before bed so I don't explode.
I'm lucky that most nights, she only feeds once in the night... so it wouldn't be a bother to have her after the wedding... so I think that I would pay for my parents to come up near the wedding for the day so I could nip out to feed or express to be less comfortable now and then. And then I would be back on mum duty overnight.
Or, if they weren't that close to me, I'd say I could come to the ceremony and the meal, but wouldn't be able to stay all evening too :-)

Newmum29 · 15/11/2021 21:35

I’d say no chance of leaving them overnight unless they’re a miracle baby who doesn’t wake for a feed.

Mine is 7 months and still wakes 1/2 times a night so we can’t leave her with anyone yet even though she’s formula fed, I just don’t think it would be fair.

At 3 months she was only just able to go to 3 hourly feeds and I was in pain with very swollen breasts at that point, worth bearing in mind.

SugarlumpsesBumpses · 16/11/2021 06:06

I wouldn't have been able to go out more than 2 hours at that age with breastfed 3/4 month DD. She fed loads. I wouldn't be able to leave her overnight either. Planning my first overnight for a wedding when she is 2 next year - separation anxiety and the 2-1 nap regression has hit us hard meaning she wakes loads at night and is inconsolable unless it's me or DH, even though she adores gps and sees them lots

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