Deciding to try for number 3 (or not)

[Imthinkingaboutit]

Just wanted some people's advice/opinions please on going for number 3. I have 2DS 4 and 2yo and have always thought of 3 (and no, not because I want a girl). We kept all the baby bits until we've basically decided we need to have a pre Christmas clear out of toys and dh blurted out he didn't want anymore babies so we should get rid of the baby stuff too. I was absolutely crushed, and angry as I felt he should've told me sooner rather than let me store more and more stuff for two years for a baby he didn't want. anyway I've respected his decision and started getting rid of bits. Three weeks on and he's told me he would actually consider it and he apologized for blowing up saying he'd had a rough day and was stressed and wasnt thinking of the bigger picture. I'm really confused. I was happy last night thinking it was an option and now today all the doubt has set in. We have a 7 seater so that's ok. But we have a three bed and one of the things dh was worried about was space. we can't afford to move, nor do we want to for at least 10years or so. We earn Ok money but are not rich by any means. The childcare years would mean we couldn't save much until the youngest was 3 and had the free hours etc. And I worry of course whether this is right for the family or just us wanting more of something else.

How do you come to a decision. This feels much bigger than 2 to 3.

Sorry for rambling too!

I wanted a third and husband was on the fence - he said he wasn’t desperate for another baby but wasn’t set against it so we said we would see what would happen. I fell pregnant in February 2020 and sadly our baby was born sleeping in the June, the following March I was pregnant again and we are hopefully 4 weeks away from her arrival - I was definitely more desperate for a baby after loosing one as was my husband. There is never a right time, right circumstances etc but if it’s something you both want it will work out - we in initially said we would give it 6months - a year and if nothing happened then that’s how it was meant to be as we were already lucky to have two

If you really want a 3rd you'll make it work.

We have 6 in a 3 bed semi, not ideal space wise but can't afford to buy a bigger house just yet and we manage fine. All 3 onward just slot in to family life, 4/5 are twins and that was the biggest challenge as it was pretty exhausting in the early months.

Good luck whatever you decide.

If you can't afford to move for 10 years then you're gonna have a 12 year old sharing a room with their younger sibling. Worth having a think about what kind of family lifestyle you could afford with 2 vs 3.

Thanks for all of your responses.

@Ameteurmum I am so sorry for your loss

Hi , we had this dilemma too. I have a 4.5 year old and a 3 year old and I’m 4 months pregnant now. I had no intentions of having a third but started to fe broody and loved the idea of my 3 year old having a little sister / brother . I had to ‘sell’ it to my husband but we decided to go for it and then stop at 3. I had sold / got rid of all the baby stuff so I have to start again buying / borrowing baby stuff now . In terms of making the decision I would advise not rushing into it , take a few months to think about it and you will know then what you want to do . Don’t feel like you need to decide right away and in time you will have a few more conversations with your OH and then the answer will be clear.