Hi all
I posted a while ago about feeling very down in my first trimester with a lot of women agreeing with me they felt the same due to hormones. This feeling of doom did eventually lift and I started feeling ok, not happy but ok about my pregnancy and looking at cribs baby clothes etc.
My partner was very supportive but the last month has just not dealt with alot of things well at all, although I must admit I have probably really overreacted to him in some ways. He suffers from an undiagnosed mental health problem 100% and every couple of months deals with things terribly so the last 4 weeks he has been very mean and had zero empathy- my sister informed me this is quite common as most men just do not understand.
Anyway- we are all ok and he is coming out of his depressive times. But I can’t help but think what a massive mistake ive made, I feel nothing but dread and panic lately at the thought of having this baby and I even considered an abortion because I just could not comprehend carrying on with this pregnancy.
Surely by now I should feel something other than dread? We have had the scans and I’ve seen the baby moving on the screen and at most thought ‘that’s cool’ but did not feel emotional at all.
I fear what kind of a mother I will be and like what if they’re born and I still feel this way!
I have read so many posts on here from women feeling the same like they planned their pregnancies then as soon as they were pregnant felt trapped and regret so I know I’m not totally heartless and horrible. But it would be nice to be able to have an up to date conversation with anybody who experienced the same? X