People thinking pregnancy = free insults / open commentary!

[Sela8097]

Does anyone else find that being pregnant seems to give some people the impression that they can freely comment on your body / appearance. I sent a photo of me and my son to my mum today and she said ‘god your face looks very pregnant’?! I’m 38 weeks so yeah no shit but it doesn’t really need to be said does it...my mums overweight but I wouldn’t dream of ever saying anything about her weight..but if you’re pregnant it’s fine to be called a whale.

My husband is as bad and has said I’m ‘very attractive from the bump up and my legs still look nice’ ..I can forgive him as I think he meant well but on what planet does ‘your face look very pregnant’ mean anything positive.

My midwife said I looked nice and could tell I’ve stayed active...more people like this please...or just say nothing! Just an angry rant...thing is you can’t say anything as you’ll be deemed ‘hormonal’ but I’m fairly sure I wouldn’t be overly pleased anyway and if I am ‘hormonal’ then all the more reason to be kind

Yes. Pregnant women are open season for every shit comment. It's like you've hung a sign round your neck saying "give me your opinion, random person".

I had "wow, the pregnancy has really gone to your face hasn't it?"^ and "you don't look pregnant, you just look like you've eaten ALL the pies"^ and "hello tubby!". FFS.

Your DH's comment is uncalled for. It reinforces that women must look attractive to men at all times - even whilst growing another human. It also suggests that at some point you're not going to live up to his expectations "legs still look good" not so subtly implies "for now".

Thank God that I'm now past the age to be having babies or dealing with bullshit comments.

Sympathies OP!

Ah I fully understand your frustrations op. I was out shopping with my daughter last week and she confirmed there was multiple people staring at me. I was saying to her 'oh how I love being stared at' and a lady (who was passing by staring at me) said its just because you're pregnant 👍🤔
I've had comments on bump pictures on how 'huge' I am and 'am I sure I'm not carrying two'

It's just so bloody rude and I wasn't the skinnier person before pregnancy so I'm now fully paranoid about being the size of a whale.

Also the amount of times I've had to say to people don't touch me... my pregnant belly is still part of me and no you don't have the right to be touching it.

It's horrible isn't it unfortunately you can't control the 💩 that comes out of their mouths but just don't give it a second thought.

I completely sympathise. I can actually SEE people's eyes rolling down and assessing my uterus as I'm talking to them. And the comments make me feel uncomfortable even if they are "meant well". I used to have serious body image problems as a teenager and I'm needing to stay very strong to not allow this constant commentary of my body upset me. I mean, it's bad enough seeing the changes happen to ourselves, without all the comments!

Stay strong, OP. I pity people who can't see how insensitive they are being. I just remind myself that pregnancy is a beautiful thing and all that matters is you and the baby!

I think my RBF cuts through a lot of those comments nowadays 😂 when I was having my second a woman at work that I hardly know saw me coming out of a side room and was like “oh my god you’ve ballooned’ I was fuming. Still fuming almost 4 years on. Saw her by chance at work the other day and she didn’t pass comment this time 🙈

I feel for you OP. I'm 18 weeks pregnant so only have a very little bump at the minute but it's still quite obviously a pregnancy bump and not a "she's eaten too much cheesecake" bump.

The comments though. Jeez. It's like it's open season for rudeness, isn't it?? I've already been told I look "fat around my face" so goodness knows how much worse these comments will get as I get bigger.

Then, because I do a very active job, people have also started speculating on how much "worse" I'll start to look as the pregnancy progresses. I've already had "Well your bum looks nice and firm now but aren't you worried it'll look fat and saggy by the time the baby's here?" and it's like "Well now I'm worried about that yes. Thanks for mentioning it".

Then I had another one laugh at me right in my face when I mentioned I still do my Pilates class once a week (I have done Pilates off and on for about 15 years) and she said, "No point trying to save your pelvic floor now that you're pregnant, love! Just accept the fact that once the baby's here, you're going to piss yourself every time you sneeze!" Oh so I just won't bother trying to keep my body healthy for my baby then??

Oh and then the comments about my personal life - particularly when people discover my beloved partner and I are unmarried. I've had "Oh it's good of him to stick by you, isn't it?" and "Oh goodness, was it planned or.....?" but my particular favourite was from a lady who saw me in Costa and loosely knows me via a mutual friend who said, "So, who's the father? Or don't you know?"

22 weeks of this shit left and counting.... 😂😂

@Sela8097 A bl**dy men to that!!! It’s shocking what people think is ok to say when you’re pregnant and your body is changing. I sent my Mum a photo of my just popped bump all excited to show her how her first grandson was growing (we live far apart) and I got a one word response… ‘FATTY’. I’m still reeling from it weeks later, but I’m sure she thinks she is a comedy genius.

I was the opposite. I was really ill during my pregnancy, and I put on loads of weight. I was massive. I wanted people to tell me how shit I looked, because I didn't want anyone to look at me and tell me I looked nice, or good.

@ScotsMumOf4

Ah I fully understand your frustrations op. I was out shopping with my daughter last week and she confirmed there was multiple people staring at me. I was saying to her 'oh how I love being stared at' and a lady (who was passing by staring at me) said its just because you're pregnant 👍🤔 I've had comments on bump pictures on how 'huge' I am and 'am I sure I'm not carrying two'

It's just so bloody rude and I wasn't the skinnier person before pregnancy so I'm now fully paranoid about being the size of a whale.

Also the amount of times I've had to say to people don't touch me... my pregnant belly is still part of me and no you don't have the right to be touching it.

This!!!! Comments saying 'are you sure you're not having two' really used to annoy me. Since when was there a 'correct size' for your belly at a certain stage of pregnancy?? Everyone's body is different and I'm the same as you. I wasn't exactly slim before I got pregnant so all the additional comments just pissed me off lol

Been asked twice in the last week if it is twins when I have said I am due in January, followed by a comment about it must be a big baby

Not twins, not a big baby.

What annoys me even more is commenting on what I do or eat. I'm pregnant, not disabled, I'm perfectly capable of still doing physical activity, and no it isn't harmful. And my husband keeps trying to force feed me all healthy things, and I know he means well, but I'm still struggling with nausea from time to time and kale is the last fucking thing I want to eat, just leave me alone!

The worst comment I've actually had is when I posted a snapchat of my lunch and had someone comment that's why I'm this size when in reality I had severe hg till I was 33 weeks and could only eat Cereal till that point and for weeks at a time I couldn't even keep water down 🙄 even now I'm still not eating enough apparently.. my midwife is constantly telling me I have to eat more