Mixing with Unvaccinated Family

[jessica2495]

Hey,

I am currently 28 weeks & 4 days pregnant. Also mummy to 2 & half year old son.
In my last trimester of pregnancy, had both of my covid jabs.
Since reaching this stage in my pregnancy, it has suddenly dawned on me my dad,stepmum & sister who I see weekly aren't vaccinated. My Stepmum is anti & has been the whole way through, carried on as normal throughout & dad & sister seem to be sheep!

Am I wrong for turning round to them & saying I don't feel comfortable being around them as much / at all due to them not having their vaccines, me now being at my most vulnerable . Especially with the lead up to Christmas & families wanting to be together. I don't want to come across harsh to them but this is a reality. I just wanted to hear your thoughts on this...

Thanks X

My dad is the same. I'm double vaccinated but I am limiting contact. I have said that if Covid is still bad when baby arrives (in April) I will not allow him to meet baby until the risks are lower.

I think you have to do what's right for you and your family in this situation.

I don't know. I'm 28 weeks too and working in the office - a number of people have now got coronavirus there and they are vaxxed. A couple of the vaxxed ones are coming in with negative lat flows even though their children have it. Because if you're vaccinated you don't have to isolate. So the risk to me isn't black and white vaccinated vs unvaccinated. As vaccinated people are allowed to go about their business as normal even with close Covid contact, and also having lesser symptoms and so carrying on as normal ill/coming in ill before they realise.

I'm getting a bit nervous in general even though I'm double vaccinated.

YABU. Their body, their choice. You are vaccinated so you've done what you can. You will come across many folk in public places not vaccinated and you wont know...

I thinknthat sounds sensible if yiu are taking an overall cautious approach now yiu are in the 3rd trimester. I would think differently if you were still out and about in busy pubs/ indoor social events.

I would simply tell them that now that yiu are classed as vulnerable you are taking a more cautious approach and not spending time with people who are at higher risk of having covid.
Yes, their body, their choice but also your body your choice to keep yourself safe. A consequence of them choosing not to vaccinate is that vulnerable people may not want to spend time with them. You aren't doing it to punish them but to protect yourself and your baby and that doesn't have to be a big deal/political point.

@Valhalla17

YABU. Their body, their choice. You are vaccinated so you've done what you can. You will come across many folk in public places not vaccinated and you wont know...

Exactly this. Surely the bigger risk is from your son, who is presumably unvaccinated and attending nursery or otherwise socialising?

It's totally personal but for me i think this is ott and you risk alientating family at what should be a specisl time over an inability to assess risk.

I'm 24 weeks recently double vaccinated and it doesn't even occur to me as an issue. I prob interact with a lot of non vaxxed peeps.
My feeling is its basically pot luck. I know several non vaxxed peeps who have had. As have several of my strongly pro-vax fully vaxxed friends and family.

I’m 34 weeks and not spending much time with anyone who isn’t vaccinated. It’s their call, absolutely; but the midwives have been clear with the risks and two couples in my NCT class have contracted Covid while pregnant and it’s affected the pregnancy. I know that’s not always the case; but it’s not a risk I’m willing to take.

I’m due in December so we’ll probably limit contact anyway; as meeting outside won’t be easy, and we won’t really pass the baby around.

I’m not sure it’s an inability to assess risk; it’s just having different parameters of what risk you’re assessing. For me, the risk of the baby getting sick through something I could have prevented is pretty awful; and so far, nobody that I’ve talked to has expressed anything other than support, even the people who’ve chosen not to get vaxxed…

And the midwife has been helpful, too. It’s not just Covid this year; but a myriad of flus & colds because of lower infection rates last year.

I think you’re right to limit contact. Especially when your baby is born.

Not at all. I only socialise outdoors with unvaccinated people and even indoors keep my distance still with anyone but my partner. I was doing this from the start of my pregnancy. My baby matters more to me than anyone else's feelings.

I think this is reasonable especially as you get towards the middle-end of your 3rd trimester and the risk is highest for you.
Yes vaccinated people can still catch and pass on covid, but it's much less likely than if they are vaccinated, so by reducing contact with unvaccinated people, you would be reducing the risk.
You can still spend time with these family members outdoors (which I know is harder at this time of year) but spending days in the same household as them would be putting yourself (and baby) at an unnecessary risk so you do need to weigh that up. It's not forever, just for this short time when you are more vulnerable.
I'm 29 weeks atm, will be switching to working from home from 35 weeks and starting to reduce my social contact around that time.
You'd hope your family would understand and support this personal choice for you, the same as them declining the vaccine has been a personal choice for them.

As much as I understand where you are coming from and it's understandable but I thought vaccinated people can pass on Covid just as much as unvaccinated people?

The vaccine protects yourself which you have had your jabs so are protected. I am not sure what difference mixing with a vaccinated and unvaccinated is any more of a risk? Other than the vaccinated can go about there day with a positive case in their house whereas unvaccinated can't. Correct me if I am wrong please.

I’m not vaccinated. Personally even if I was I’d still see family and friends who were not.

But you can choose not to, everyone is free to make their own choices. Do what you’re comfortable with.

@Jane0106

As much as I understand where you are coming from and it's understandable but I thought vaccinated people can pass on Covid just as much as unvaccinated people?

The vaccine protects yourself which you have had your jabs so are protected. I am not sure what difference mixing with a vaccinated and unvaccinated is any more of a risk? Other than the vaccinated can go about there day with a positive case in their house whereas unvaccinated can't. Correct me if I am wrong please.

This is not quite right. If exposed to covid, an unvaccinated person is much more likely to catch it and therefore be able to pass it on than someone who has been vaccinated.

Yeah I think it’s totally wise to avoid all unvaccinated people. And on that note am going to send my 3 young children to live in the shed.

How can PP say "YABU their body, their choice" but not apply the same logic to OP?!

OP I think YANBU, even though there is risk from your child, it's all about minimising risk where possible. Your child needs to go to nursery etc. You don't need to mix indoors with unvaccinated family. My family are all double vax, as am I, but I've told them I expect them to minimise social contact before spending Xmas here and they will take LFTs too.

You aren’t wrong, you can do and wish as you like. Just understand that others being vaccinated makes no difference to your health as it doesn’t stop the spread. I’m in my last trimester (due last week 😩) and we just aren’t seeing anyone / going anywhere as it’s not worth catching it and my partner then not being allowed in to the hospital (which is what happens here)