Hi lovely.
My first pregnancy ended in mc so I only know how crippling the anxiety can be. But - My second pregnancy was conceived two months later and I’m due on Friday. So keep positive. No reason why your pregnancy shouldn’t have a happy ending whether it’s your first pregnancy or not!
I hate to be blunt but firstly - stop with the testing. You can still test positive up to two weeks after a miscarriage. It won’t offer you any reassurance trust me.
I had a bleed in my second pregnancy around 8 weeks and everything was absolutely fine. So not all bleeding is necessarily bad. In terms of managing your anxiety, make sure you get enough rest, take your vitamins and nutrients from food - whatever you can stomach! I kept a daily note of my symptoms, at first it didn’t do much but, symptoms are known to disappear and dwindle and whenever they did, I would look back on my notes for reassurance as it would happen quite often! Don’t compare your symptoms to others, I had sickness and tiredness but that was it - no sore boobs, no headaches, no cravings 😂.
Allow yourself ten minutes each day to let the anxiety surface, and then close it off. It’s too difficult not to acknowledge those feelings, anxiety is completely normal. There’s an author, Zoe Clark-Coates - she writes about pregnancy after loss, but mainly dealing with anxiety so it may help to have a read. Keep busy, keep positive. If you feel that you can’t wait until 12 weeks, you could always consider an early scan? I wouldn’t go any earlier than 8-9 weeks though, as you’ll be able to see the heartbeat then and will not set yourself up for further stress. I went for an early scan this time, it is only a snapshot of that moment. But it does help.
I promise you, it gets easier with the passage of time. You won’t feel like this for your entire pregnancy! Xxx