Who do I ask for help?

[Hmumoftw0]

Currently 15+4 and I'm really struggle with the thought of giving birth, I haemorrhaged with my son (2nd baby) and ended up in theatre, I was put to sleep given a blood transfusion and they inserted a balloon into my uterus to stop the bleeding, I've had a couple a midwife's say I'm lucky to be here in passed comments.

I was advised after this to have a c-section if I chose to have another baby, I didn't have any anxiety around giving birth at all until I got pregnant.

I am absolutely petrified, I don't want to die, why do I keep thinking I'm going to die! I don't want to leave my babies I can't stop crying today thinking about it.

I really need some help but the midwife team I'm under never answer the phone

Oh this sounds so tough for you I'm sorry. I don't have direct experience and can't help much but it sounds like you may need some mental health support after the trauma you went through. My midwives also don't answer phones but do answer emails (students staff the emails each day and send queries to the right people). Do your midwives have an email address you could try?

@PartridgeCoop I don't think so I've never been given one that I know of

❤

Sorry to hear of your experience but please speak to your midwife at your next appointment and ask to be referred to the consultant midwives who will give you an appt and discuss in detail your options regarding birth. Ultimately they will go down whatever is the safest route for you. Best of luck

@DarkChic Thank you! I have an appointment with the consultant on Friday, iv already done lots of research. I know they will have blood on hand and will start the hormone drip before baby is delivered to hopefully make my uterus contract but I just can't get the idea out of my head that it could all go wrong and I could die, obviously my mental health isn't very good I will ask my consultant if they can refer me to someone

OP you can be referred to the mental health midwives as well, I know it's an isolated thought (I.e. you are only afraid of dying in labour not all the time) and I really think they will help you. Please don't rule them out because of their title

Sorry you’re struggling. Your gp can refer you to perinatal mental health I think. X

@grapestar thank you I will ask! This is it I don't feel like I need medication or regular counselling I need help from someone who can tell me I'll be ok that has been in the room when these things happen!

Yes yes to mental health midwives, you can talk to them and your consultant and decide between you all if a further referral to perinatal mental health support from a community psychiatric nurse specific to maternity would help, I'm at a similar stage after nearly bleeding to death last time and about to have the same conversations. There is absolutely support available for you, keep talking, tell them how you are feeling and what you are thinking, its normal and understandable and they can help you. I'm having a section again this time, but probably under a GA, because I can't deal with it again, the risk to my mental health and they are supporting me in that, they offered it.

@Hmumoftw0 it sounds like you had a very traumatic experience. Maybe that has affected you mentally more than you realise. Speak to your midwife maybe they could refer you to a councillor to work through the worries you have. I can imagine how scary that must have been xx

Just wanted to update you all thank you so much for the help, I saw my consultant on Friday she said I can have a vaginal birth but after I had a break down in front of her she said a c-section would be more appropriate, she was very calm about it all and said if I do haemorrhage I probably won't even know its happening as the curtain will be up and everything they need will be there ready, I'm still petrified but feel a lot more reassured she has also set up an appointment with the anaesthetist so she can reassure me some more, I'm just so thankful she was kind and understanding and didn't try to push me into another vaginal birth!

Thats great news, well done for talking about it, the anaesthetic appointment will help too. Wishing you all the best xx

Just worked out we are at the same stage, 15 weeks, I'm seeing my consultant in December to discuss the same, plus the anaesthetist, to make a plan as much as you can this early. Its helped me to read what you wrote, I'm so sorry you had a such a traumatic time, but good to know they are listening and responding to you, it helps to have a little control doesn't it, so thank you. Keep talking to them to manage it, it brings all the memories back but don't bottle it up. Xx

Did you ever get 'time to talk' after your last delivery OP? Where you sit down one to one with a midwife and your medical notes and go through the labour with you?

You could request a referral to the perinatal mental health team or your local IAPT service if they didn't accept hun xx