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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

My boss being unreasonable?

8 replies

MSHxx · 08/11/2021 17:41

So cut a long story short. We had a new boss in my work place in July, I found out I was pregnant end of august. When I was 7 weeks pregnant and had an early scan I told my boss I was pregnant and therefore couldn't carry out the heavy duty tasks my pre pregnancy self could. That was all well and good as our caretaker retired and she asked me if I wanted to be caretaker (on 6am starts, on 5 shifts a week to get my 30 hour contract) but if I declined she could only give me close shifts (11pm finishes) I took the caretaker role which I and still doing at 15 weeks pregnant.

That all sounds well and good, until she started making sly digs at me, for example I'm not doing the cleaning floor machine in a straight line, or I'm not fitting behind the trolley bay to pick up a empty packet of crisps or I've not done the bin bag tight enough. She even got me to litter pick the car park twice the other day. All this has been building up and I've let it slide. Until last week when my midwife changed my 16 week appointment and I told her and she said "you sort your shift I have to much going on" which I replied what if no one can cover "well the shop will be down then" and I then gave her 2 appointments I have in December (my pregnancy is high risk due to multiple losses) I can work one of the appointments, but need to leave at a certain time. I explained this to her. The other appointment is morning and I asked to have it fall in line with one of my two days off a week. She then said that was impossible to have 2 appointments in one week and get my hours, so I therefore would have to use both days as holiday or one as holiday and work the whole weekend. I walked out of the office very confused. So I text my old boss and he confirmed he was 99% sure that was incorrect information and to ring payroll, which I did, they confirmed again incorrect and they had emailed my area manager to inform him of the issue.

So yesterday my area manager rang me, asked me to explain the situation which I did. The shop has been very unhappy since she started so I expressed that to him and he rang her this morning to discuss the issue and not to use holidays for appointments and also expressed to her my issues. She then called me over the headset into the office. Her face like thunder and opened with "I've just had a lovely call with my boss. What's your issue" so I explained, to which she sat there and denied any truth to what I had said and told me in so many words I was a liar and my hormones have made me overreact. That she had a pregnant worker before and she only had 2 appointments to work around so it was rota based and I said I'm high risk, my care isn't like that ladies. To which she admitted she was up to date on paid appointments. She then said she had to take 5 minutes before speaking to me because she was so pissed off. She turned it all around on me, said I have had the world offered to me on a plate and I'm not acting like an adult and I should be the least stressed person in the shop because I just have to clean and do till work. She then ended the conversation with "maybe you need to sit back and handle your emotions" I left the room boiling over because I couldn't get a word in edge ways, everything I said about how I felt was shot down and questioned. Im honestly on my last nerve in there. I dread going into work and her being there. It's the worse atmosphere I've ever worked in. But where do I even go from here?

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 08/11/2021 17:45

You have options.

  1. Raise a grievance against her.
  2. Refer her to the rules about working and pregnancy on gov.uk and ACAS.
  3. Contact/join the recognised union.
MSHxx · 08/11/2021 17:49

@MrsMoastyToasty

You have options.
  1. Raise a grievance against her.
  2. Refer her to the rules about working and pregnancy on gov.uk and ACAS.
  3. Contact/join the recognised union.
I've gone on to the research hub in our staff canteen and looked at my rights, took a picture and I told her of the rights and entitlements and it was upstairs to look at. She then replied if she has time she'll educate herself and where it leaves her hours in store. Ive spoke to my area manager, i even cried on the phone fo him today because I was fed up of it all now. I've laid all my feelings out to her today, to have it turned back on me and "hormones" I'm at a lost I really am
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SouthwestSis · 08/11/2021 17:53

Sounds like bullying to me and and I would contact your trade union and ask to raise a grievance.
Try and write down some evidence of the conversations and times where she has acted inappropriately towards you as you may be asked to provide this later.
Sorry you're going through this OP but your manager needs to learn that pregnancy is a protected characteristic, and it's not ok and not professional to treat someone like this because of pregnancy. They are acting illegally and don't deserve their position as a manager.

Welshcake15 · 08/11/2021 18:00

"Pregnant employees have 4 main legal rights:

paid time off for antenatal care
maternity leave
maternity pay or maternity allowance
protection against unfair treatment, discrimination or dismissal
‘Antenatal care’ is not just medical appointments - it can also include antenatal or parenting classes if they’ve been recommended by a doctor or midwife."

www.gov.uk/working-when-pregnant-your-rights

You absolutely have the right to paid time off for any appointment. If they fall on a normal day off, then great, but if not then it's tough. I am also classed as higher risk and some clinics that I have appointments for only run on certain days, so I have be given paid time off work to attend them. Additionally, you may find that you get a number of appointments all bunched up around the 28 week mark (I have a growth scan, two hospital appointments, and a midwife appointment all in the same week around that time!). There is nothing you can do about this, but if your manager has only dealt with someone low risk in the past then they may not know this can happen. You should be sent appointment letters for each appointment (apart from your normal midwife appointments, although ask your midwife if you can be given something which shows which weeks you need to have your appointments with her so that you can show this if asked) and you may be asked to show your manager these letters.

Keep a diary documenting any treatment which you think is unfair, so that you can use this to refer to if needed.

MSHxx · 08/11/2021 18:22

@Welshcake15

"Pregnant employees have 4 main legal rights:

paid time off for antenatal care
maternity leave
maternity pay or maternity allowance
protection against unfair treatment, discrimination or dismissal
‘Antenatal care’ is not just medical appointments - it can also include antenatal or parenting classes if they’ve been recommended by a doctor or midwife."

www.gov.uk/working-when-pregnant-your-rights

You absolutely have the right to paid time off for any appointment. If they fall on a normal day off, then great, but if not then it's tough. I am also classed as higher risk and some clinics that I have appointments for only run on certain days, so I have be given paid time off work to attend them. Additionally, you may find that you get a number of appointments all bunched up around the 28 week mark (I have a growth scan, two hospital appointments, and a midwife appointment all in the same week around that time!). There is nothing you can do about this, but if your manager has only dealt with someone low risk in the past then they may not know this can happen. You should be sent appointment letters for each appointment (apart from your normal midwife appointments, although ask your midwife if you can be given something which shows which weeks you need to have your appointments with her so that you can show this if asked) and you may be asked to show your manager these letters.

Keep a diary documenting any treatment which you think is unfair, so that you can use this to refer to if needed.

Yes! This was the case with my midwife. So there was a mix up their end and it got changed to a Monday as they only work Monday clinics and I was working the Monday, so the appointment fell an hour and a half before I was due to finish. I explained this to her and she said just to swap shifts which was okay fair enough. Which I sorted myself with someone willing to stay till my finish time. I have all my scan appointments up until 38 weeks, which I've given her and 2 of them will most likely be when I'm on leave anyway. I have a consultant appointment 2 days after my 20 week scan, so I'm not sure how that side of it works. But it's a review so I'm presuming they'll just review whatever the outcome is from the 20 week scan and go from there. Which I've explained and I've said if I can manage the times, I will, but I'm not going to stress about changing times. They are very important appointments in my opinion.
OP posts:
donquixotedelamancha · 10/11/2021 06:52

Contact your area manager again to make him aware of the hormones comment. Be explicit that you are being bullied because you are pregnant and ask him to stop the bullying.

Do everything in writing. Be factual and even in what you write.

Join a union. Speak to ACAS for advice.

If your manager is foolish enough to continue once you've contacted your manager about this second incident then raise the grievance. By then you should have enough evidence that it aught to be an easy decision for them to make.

HopefulRose · 10/11/2021 08:10

She sounds absolutely vile! As a manager, her behaviour is breaking several codes of conduct here and she should be reprimanded at the very least. Please keep a recorded, dated diary of every interaction with her and so far (including these comments which are offensive and amount to bullying) … write a written complaint to your area manager and copy in HR. Put everything in writing and leave a paper trail of your interactions with both her and the area manager. If you are dismissed you will have a good case for unfair dismissal.

MSHxx · 10/11/2021 16:58

So my area manager has further spoken to her and she's denied it all. Simple my word against hers and it's been left as a agree to disagree. And straight after this conversation another manager felt the need to say when seeing me drinking a lucozade (it's the only think that's helps my headaches) and I was on a 10 hour shift today so I needed it to keep the headache at bay. The manager said "not good for baby" like how much more can I take? I'm honestly fed up!

OP posts:
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