Pregnancy and secondhand smoke

[GHDSF]

Hello everyone, this is my first post! :) I have a bit of a problem and I need some advice. I'll try and keep it brief but me and my partner currently live abroad and we've recently come back to the UK to see my family. At the beginning of the year, we agreed that we would start trying for a baby towards the end of the year (so now). We started trying last week but after my ovulation, I had a horrifying thought. We're staying with my mom and stepdad and my stepdad smokes! But because it's cold he won't go outside, he smokes by the back door with the door open a little bit, but you can still smell the smoke wafting through the house. My worry is, is that going to harm my baby if I am pregnant?

It's too early to take a test at the moment, so I don't know for sure that I'm pregnant but I've been using the natural cycles app for 12 months so I knew pretty much exactly when I would be ovulating. I feel awful because the smoking didn't even cross my mind at first until I smelt it one day and it was particularly potent, and I thought "crap, I should not be breathing this in if I'm pregnant!"

I told my mom there's a chance I'm pregnant and asked her if my stepdad would smoke outside and she basically said no he probably wouldn't and that I'm worrying too much RE secondhand smoke and pregnancy! Am I overreacting or am I right to be concerned?

Sorry if this is hard to follow but I'm so stressed about it, I'm probably not making much sense. My partner said if my stepdad won't smoke outside we'll have to go back home, and I really don't want that as we came over to spend time with my family for my birthday and Christmas. But at the same time, if I am pregnant I'm not willing to put my baby at risk for anyone.

I just wish we had waited now until we went back home, to start trying. Any help or advice is appreciated because all I've read online is how dangerous passive smoking is and my mom is so nonchalant about it, I just don't know what to do or think!

I mean this in the kindest possible way but I think you may be overreacting a bit. You don’t even know you’re pregnant, and it’s their house that you’re in. Could you not go upstairs or to another room when he’s smoking? And even if you were pregnant, if he’s got the back door open and you’re not staying there permanently then I doubt there would be any harm to baby.

Personally I would change flights and leave. Perhaps your mum might take your concerns a bit more seriously if she sees that you’re serious? The other reason is that you need to take a zero tolerance approach now, or else surely they will think it’s appropriate to smoke around the new baby?

@Moonshine160 Thanks for your reply. Yes, we're staying in a room downstairs so I can get away from it. I just wasn't sure for how long the smoke would linger and when it would be safe to go back upstairs as he smokes quite frequently (he works from home).

@SweetBabyCheeses99 I did tell her that my partner would want to leave if there was no chance of the smoking taking place outside and she thought that we were being a bit over the top! Luckily, if I am pregnant the baby will be born when we're back home abroad and I will have a strict no smoking policy in our house, not even outside as I detest smoking so much!

Very kindly Op, you only started trying last week.
Just relax.

Having family who smoke means you have to take a stand to protect your child. I would not visit in the home of anyone who smoked inside, even when you were not present. I wouldn’t do it while I was pregnant and I would not let my child into a smoker’s home.

That said. You don’t know that you are pregnant. If you want to stay and are worried, maybe look for an Airbnb.

The excitement of trying for a baby can be all consuming. With respect, your current argument is "please don't smoke, we're having sex in the hope that I fall pregnant."

@Justmuddlingalong No, there's no argument, it's a question "would you be able to smoke outside if I am pregnant?"

@DriftingBlue thank you for a fair, amicable reply that doesn't make me feel like an idiot :) Yes that's a good idea about an Airbnb, thank you

Pregnant or not, there is NO WAY I would stay with someone who smokes in the house. Disgusting. Get a hotel or Airbnb

I am 11 weeks pg right now. We had just come back from holiday for 3 days to a home with someone who smokes outside. I had a midwife appointment and she hooked me up to the carbon monoxide monitor and it came back high. This person hadn't been in the house for 24 hours by this point and had only smoked outside.

It really frightened me. The midwife said it would probably be ok as the smoker has left now. It isn't worth feeling the guilt and shame though.

Indont know ehy some people think you are unreasonable. I wouldnt stay in the home of a smoker pregnant or not. Youll have to throw everything away as it will all stink.