HELP! Cutting off family while pregnant?

[Sixtycats]

Has anyone done this? Myself and my partner are expecting our first baby in the new year. My parents are toxic and we want to ghost them completely. I can give more context if needed but my post on relationships is super long!

How would you go about this, we've already started taking steps:

1. ordered new SIM cards
2. booked viewings for houses in different cities
3. started backing away from social media
4. set up an email to send to them to contact us if there's an actual emergency

What other steps haven't we considered?
How do you selectively cut off family members, is that even possible? Any advice is greatly appreciated!

This all sounds very dramatic and almost sinister OP- I hope you’re alright

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

This all sounds very dramatic and almost sinister OP- I hope you’re alright

Not sure how to properly reply to this as I've just started with the app, so I hope this is ok! Thank you so much. It's not as dramatic as it sounds. I have tried to do this many times over the years but if I give them the chance to make excuses I always believe them and think 'maybe things will be different this time' and they never are. The other thing is my dad has become far more aggressive and threatening to me since I've been pregnant so we don't want to take any chances in explaining we are cutting them off. And I'm hugely a people pleaser and will find it difficult to explain to family members who are fooled by their 'butter wouldn't melt' facade and will understandably try to tell me not to do this. Another layer to this is, I was diagnosed with some mental health problems in my teens (miraculously cleared up when I moved away from them) and they always weaponise it against me when we fight, and make out to family members as if I'm mental. So it's not as much of a dramatic flee in the night situation, just more practical to ghost than leave ourselves open to further manipulation. Hope this explains things! Please don't worry about me. My partner is really supportive, and my friends who know the story are supportive too so I'm not alone. Thank you so much again!

Just bugger off and you'll have to cut ties with any family or friends that they are close to too.
You don't have to have toxic people in your life if you don't want. Doing it will cause upset to more than just the ones you want to move away from so be prepared for the backlash.

We've distanced ourselves from MIL & SFIL in the past but then other family distanced from us because of it. We're back on better terms now but only because we reconnected with dh's brother 1st.

God, I wish it was that simple for us to just piss off into the wind. There's so many of them, and I worry if we don't have an exit plan, someone's going to catch us out. We live with family (they don't know our plans as they will alert parents) so we need to have an excuse as to why we're leaving. Additional context, dad's aggressive, mum's shamey and attacky and I have no backbone, if they find out our plans it's going to be a horrible few weeks!
How did you deal with the backlash? Was it all worth it for you at the time?

At the time I was happy not to have to deal with them, looking back we should have tolerated them more.
It's as simple as you make it. Leave and be isolated making family life much harder or stick around for some support, grow a back bone and set boundaries with them. It's hard adulting sometimes

We live with family (they don't know our plans as they will alert parents) so we need to have an excuse as to why we're leaving.
Tell them you are leaving because you are afraid they will start charging you rent .