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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Feeling judged

2 replies

Bear9023 · 04/11/2021 15:51

For context: This is my first pregnancy, I am overweight but I am eating healthy and looking after myself in the best way I can. We've pretty much got pregnant as soon as we've started trying.

I'm currently 7 weeks + 6 days. My husband and I haven't told many people about the pregnancy - immediate family and a select few close friends. (I know they say to wait till 12 weeks but if anything were to happen I'd want the support from these people, I don't believe in suffering in silence).

Most people have been excited and happy for us but a couple just seem to be putting the experience down. When they have been through their pregnancies I have been so supportive and happy for them and helped where I can.

I feel extremely fatigued and am finding myself napping a lot - this is being met with "You're pregnant - not disabled!"

A close friend has basically told me to expect to be told that I'm too fat at every appointment and will get shamed for it and at my 12 week scan they probably won't be able to find the baby.
I've actually had my booking appointment and my Midwife is amazing. She talked with me through being healthy etc and I didn't feel shamed once. I understand that health professionals will comment on my weight etc. I'm expecting it. I just feel like my friend was using it hurtfully towards me rather than constructively.

Another very close friend said "Congratulations, sorry if i don't seem very happy for you, it's just that I've been trying for a baby since March and it hasn't happened" The conversation turned to her and she then went on to tell me she hasn't had sex since March! Like come on! I really felt shamed for being so happy about being pregnant.

Am I taking things the wrong way or being 'too sensitive'?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
CurryandSnuggle · 04/11/2021 20:01

Congratulations on your baby and no one will judge you for your body. You’re doing the right thing to be eating healthy and that’s the main thing. Perhaps your friend didn’t realise how hurtful she was being.

As for the friend who has been trying a long time, I can see why it must be hard for her but she should still show her support and happiness ar your amazing news. I am however confused, she’s been trying since March but hasn’t been having sex since March…. Right Confused

Bear9023 · 06/11/2021 13:27

Thank you Smile

I think I probably am slightly more sensitive than usual. But I think if another comments made I'll just be open and tell her that it's hurting my feelings.

Of course I understand it's so difficult seeing your friends get pregnant when it's something you want. She already has 2 teenage children and is desperate for another but like you say, to be trying for a baby you should be active in doing so. Maybe she's hoping for a miracle Confused. I'll be mindful of how she's feeling but again, I think I'd address it with her going forward if she made any other comments about it.

I don't know about anyone else but being pregnant has brought out a fierce side to me Hmm

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