private midwives or doulas, how much do they cost, and what do they do?

[gingerbreadgirl]

after a pretty harrowing birth, im scared to have another baby, although i would dearly love another.

if i did have another baby i def want someone with me when im in labour, is a private mw or doula the best way to make sure this happens

i have no idea how much this costs though? and do they help with things like bf as well?

or where could i get one from ?

Doula's cost anywhere between about 150 and 600 pounds depending on where you live and how experienced they are (trainees for example are only allowed to charge up to 150). I think some of them will offer reduced fees as well if you can't afford it and you have a real need of one which it sounds like you might. Different ones probably offer different services but I think most will help you get started with breastfeeding. Am sure one of the MN doulas will be on here soon and can comment better than me! Or doula uk is really helpful.
Usually you see them beforehand twice, they are there for the whole labour and they will come round afterwards for a 'debrief' (and they could maybe even help you with your first birth experience which it sounds like you might benefit from?) They can be on phone / email as much as you need before the birth as well. Unlike midwives, doulas are not medically trained though, they are there to 'mother the mother' (and father if necessary!)

Independent midwives are more expensive but I don't know how much.

HTH and best of luck with going for number 2!

thanks does help

ginger, after reading this and your bf thread last night I'm quite worried about you. Have you thought about contacting the birth trauma association? Now I'll fess up here, I should probably contact them too but I'm relying on never ever getting pregnant again so I don't have to face my demons. If you've got the courage to call them I'm sure they'd be able to help you get stronger and feel less afraid of the future and less guilty about the things you've had to face.

You can tell me to mind my own busines now.

hi beewise
well i do feel a bit trumatisd by birth , but i thought that was normal, i think id feel a bit of a fraud contacting the bta
but maybe i should

I was quoted ?700 for a doula and that was the basic package of 2 visits but unlimited calls and emails. I think I will go without!

daisy. that would also include her being with you for the birth , no matter how long ,and being on call for you for a 4 week period and a post natal visit to debrief after the birth , i would have thought? there are a huge number of benefits to having a doula, not least having one to one continous care in labour can reduce your chances of a c.s or instrumental delivery quite drastically. and many other benefits...
of course, it is not for everyone !

gingerbreadgirl - i am a volunteer for the BTA and a doula, so if i can be of any assistance, please do contact me

lulumama 21 @ hotmail. com

I paid about £700 for my birth doula and she was worth her weight in gold.

I ended up having an induced labour (with a drip not a pessary) but with her help and support I still moved around despite the hospital wanting me to lie down for the whole labour and ended up not needing an epidural though it is common to end up having one when induced using a drip.

I think without her I'd have ended up feeling the whole birth was traumatic. With her there the exerience was fine though not exactly wonderful.

Dh was there and very supportive but not very useful bless him.

My doula also recommedned a really good breastfeeding councsellor (again private I'm afraid) who helped enormously when I had real provblems breastfeeding at the beginning.

i am 9 weeks pg and have been so traumatised with my previous birth i saw my midwife yesterday and relayed my fears i even considered a termination due to sheer terror and thats a wrong reason for me to have even thought about it my babies are born with craniosynostosis or totally fused skull bones you cannot push the baby out normally without intervention and the pain levels are just so enormous as 2 of my sons had what they call triangular shaped heads all i asked for was an epidural last time and to be monitored for this happening again epidural for intervention purposes i even had a planned birth inducement but all went haywire no pain relief no epidural no staff basically i am terrified this time round,i said to my midwife i want a private birth she sais she doesnt know where its possible but i can have a private anaethatist does anyone know or have heard of this please im always on my own when i give birth due to my husband has the other children and we have no other family at all so need someone to speak up for me in labour when they are not listening is a doula going to help?sorry for rambling guys just need peace of mind thanks

Hi disneystar

so sorry to hear that you have had such a horrific time.

if you are in London, then there are certainly a number of places you can have a private birth, although it is costly.

Have you seen an obstetrician? a consultant would be better able to advise you on giving birth to babies with this condition.

so , last time you were induced, but did not have an epidural? was there no aneasthatist available?

a doula can absolutely be your advocate in labour and can support you and make sure your wishes are known. she will help with your birth preferences/plan and make sure your caregivers know it...

have you had an help re your previous traumatic births?

Independant Midwives

Pay between £1800 and £4000, depending on area and package.

Cheapest ones mean you use the NHS for all the tests/scans/baby checks and just the independant midwive for the actual birth and a couple of visits before and after.

The most expensive packages include all your blood tests and scans being done privately and all the baby checks being done by the independant midwife at your own home.

HTH

It's not that trainee doulas aren't "allowed" to charge more than £150 - that's a DoulaUK rule as far as I know. Many doulas do not go down the DoulaUK route, esp in the North. It is not the only way of finding a good doula .
£700 is at the more expensive end of the scale, and a lot of doulas work for less than that (incl trainees, who might work for less than £150).
Sorry to be pedantic, I just didn't want anyone thinking that DoulaUK is some sort of "official" registration for doulas and that doulas routinely cost £700.

I had a doula as I needed the support after 3 mcs and a very bad relationship with the community midwives. It was 500 pounds for pre birth visits, unlimited support, the whole of labour and afterwards, and a couple of post birth visits.
She was totally worth every single penny - we were able to have proper discussions about how I felt, what I wanted to do, and she accepted the way that I felt.
When I went into premature labour, she dropped everything and was with me the whole way through, and even though I had to have continuous monitoring, she made sure that it was quiet, dark, and that no one bothered me. In fact, all I could tell you about in the delivery suite was what she did (inc rubbing my back for 4 hours)- no memory of the midwives at all. Afterwards, when DS had been whisked off to SCBU, she stayed with me whilst I delivered the placenta, got me tea, helped me into and out of the bath (midwives had all bogged off), wheeled me round to SCBU, and then got me settled on the ward.
She phoned every day to see how we were doing, and when we were out had nice, unhurried visits, and was just how you want a supporter to be.

Re the Birth Trauma Association, you don't have to contact them, just have a look at the stories on their website and read about Post Natal Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - see if it rings any bells.
I had an elective CSection to get through my 2nd baby (traumatic 1st one) but I'm sure a doula could reduce trauma (or fear of trauma) in most cases. BTW that 2nd baby 'cured' my PNPTSD and I'm now considering a VBAC!

Independent midwives in my area (East London) charge around £3K. Mine normally charges a bit more now but is planning to charge me £2.9K as it's second time round for me. This includes scans on NHS, but all of her visits and the delivery. Maybe some bloodwork too, I forget.

Good luck - I so don't regret my decision to use her. She is so fab and I have recommended her loads of times to people. You might need to be clear with an independent midwife on how they feel about going in to hospital with you. Another friend is one no 2 as well, and her IM from her first pregnancy had become quite militant in the intervening period and wanted her to commit to agreeing to a home birth this time. Last time she decided to go into hospital and have an epidural. The midwife actually said: "You could have done it last time, etc" which my friend was upset about and went for a different IM this time instead. My midwife isn't like that at all - no pressure whatsoever. If you're really sure you want to go into hospital and just need some support once you get in hospital rather than a home birth, a doula MIGHT be something to explore first. HOWEVER, a well connected midwife is a real boon in a hospital as she can make things happen for you if necessary. My DD lost some weight initially and the staff were about to insist on formula - she kept them well away from me. She was also good at negotiating with the doctor for a bit more time, etc, building relationships with teh otehr midwives, good backup when we had problems in the end. Her medical training really came in handy throughout my pregnancy...I had obsetric cholestasis and she knew what was up immediately and what I had to do. The IM will be MUCH better informed than your GP for example, and there on tap for you (no waiting at the ER or on the phone for advice from hospital midwives who don't know you). I could go on with more examples but you get the idea.

Good luck.

I am a doula and I charge £150 for the package. You can contact me on
[email protected]

I too had a traumatic 4th birth that left me with flash backs and nightmares. I've since had another baby but since becoming a doula , will be employing a coleague for my 6th birth.

Please talk to someone about your feelings.

A doula is fabulous resource to have. www.doula.org.uk

can recommend im lynn walcott theo the footballers mum but might be a bit ££ now

Harriet the Spy, I was wondering which IM in East London you used? I'm currently trying to choose one. Thanks.