Had a big argument - concerned about effect on baby

[zeena83]

Hi all,

I have been in a foul mood this week and my anger levels have been slowly rising. Last night, I picked a blazing row with my husband and it went on/off like that for a while, lasting into today. He is usually very good at keeping calm but I have been awful to him. There has been a lot of screaming and he even had a panic attack. I am getting help for my anxiety etc but staying with in laws has been a strain for the last three weeks. All this to say that I am terrified of the stress and loud noise having and impact on the baby (currently 29+5), both his hearing and future IQ. Can anyone reassure?

Zx

I think some exposure to stress hormones eg cortisol etc is fine for a baby’s development but too much is defo a bad thing. Do you have any strategies you can use to prevent your emotions from escalating so far? I like exercise or just being in nature, but it can be anything if it’s helps you to escape this cycle. Mindfulness, meditation, crafty hobbies, cooking, gardening etc

Hearing and IQ are not what you would need to worry about, but if this was a regular occurrence you would be right to be concerned about baby’s emotional wellbeing. Your baby will feel your stress.

Having said that, if it’s a one off then I’m sure it’ll be fine. I had an argument with DH when I was heavily pregnant and (very out of character for me) I lost the plot! We laugh about it now. But DD seems to have come through unscathed

I'd be worried about your behaviour towards your dh. Your baby is fine, for heavens sake!

@zena83
You behaviour might be down to hormones, specially for us now, many things are happening in our bodies which is fine.

In regards to stress, I have been looking this myself as I am a natural worrier and can get anxious.

I watched a documentary years ago where it said that pregnant stress mums can pass it on to babies through the placenta; now that I am pregnant, this came to my mind recently and just reading more into level of stress and impact on fetous mentally and body.

To end on an optimistic note, I know someone who was pregnant and sadly lost a very close family member while pregnant. Baby is very happy and healthy 😊

Bless you, the baby will be fine.
Why not apologise to your OH and think about how you can stop this happening again?

Babies have been born perfectly healthy during centuries of wars and other horrible stressful times. Chronic stress is not good, but a one off incident won't harm the baby.

But you should stop abusing your poor husband.

If a man came in here and said he'd been horrible to his wife and had shouted at her until she had a panic attack everyone would be ripping him a new one.

Grow up and get a grip.

What was the argument even about? Did you have a reasonable motive to start it?