Health Visitor visit at 37 weeks. What to expect?

[Latecomer131]

I have a prenatal visit from the health visitor tomorrow and would like an idea of what to expect. I am currently dreading it as, based on what I have read on other threads, I am anticipating being heavily patronised about my choice to formula feed and that the health visitor will try ask to view all around my house (a request which I will definitely be refusing).

Is this just scaremongering, and did anyone actually get anything useful from the first visit from their HV?

Mine didn't look round my house. Sure she had a nose at living room but that's the only room she was in.
Nothing was said to me about bottle feeding.
I just got asked questions like any violence in the house etc, talked about SIDs.
They'll give you info on their service and some numbers if you need to ring anyone.
She'll ask some questions, nothing you wouldn't know just general health etc.
It's relaxed, you can ask her anything you want aswell.

They just ask questions really, never had one want to look around the house.

Ours didn't come see us until baby was over 2 weeks old and not seen her since then (baby 11wk now). Booked to come again next month but has already changed the app date so we'll see if she gets here.

Yeah, prenatal hv appointment was just a bit of background from me, registering with any services I wanted to such as sure start and letting me know what to expect from hv after baby arrived. She didn't look round my house or ask anything different from the midwives really

I had mine a couple of weeks ago & they didn't look round my house. They talked about what the visits will be after the birth, how many etc. They also talked about infant crying & how to cope, dealing with any mood changes & what support I have. They did ask about feeding & I said I was hoping to breastfeed but they didn't really lay it on thick.

Had mine a couple of weeks ago too. She didn't look around my house. She informed me about the service and what it all entails including number of visits etc.

I would say we then just had a general getting to know you chat, asking about how my pregnancy had been and we talked about a couple of postnatal bits including tips on how to ease baby crying, nappy changes, mental health of both of the parents etc.

We did touch on feeding (I plan to bottle feed) and she was very understanding of my decision using the "fed is best" response. She certainly wasn't trying to ram breast feeding down my throat.

Probably only thing I would say that was mildly upsetting was my health visitor seemed to put particular emphasis on SIDS and how serious it was and how to prevent it. I think this is probably standard practice and I understand it is a heavy important subject but I felt she was potentially too forceful about it after I just told her I suffer with anxiety and was anxious about bad outcomes for my baby

Another random thing we spoke about were my dogs and whether hubby and I had thought about how the baby would be impacted/how the dogs would be affected. Overall no judgement felt, it came across as just something she wantes to highlight to make sure we had considered it.

She didn’t come out to my house, it was over the phone but it was pretty much only to discuss feeding from what I remember and she was the only person who I felt judged by during all of my care about my choice to formula feed. I had made up my mind long before speaking to her and felt totally uncomfortable at the thought of breast feeding so it just wasn’t for me at all. She went on and on in a rant for about 20 minutes non-stop about the fact I’ll regret my choice and I won’t realise how much I love him until I meet him then I’ll change my mind. As if how you feed your child reflects whether you love them or not 🤔 I definitely didn’t regret my choice! She’s actually been nice and non-judgemental when she’s came out to the house since he’s been born but I don’t know why she was so judgey to begin with! I felt really low when I came off the phone to her

Oh my 3 I only had one visit before the baby was born - with my 3rd - and we filled in all the paperwork that we could for the baby which was so much more helpful than having to do it when they were 2 weeks old!

They never looked around the house.

I’ve never had a health visitor look around my house, just the living room which we were in. One ‘helpfully’ pointed out that we had one step going from the hallway that led up to the stairs and that it would be a hazard to the baby . I was like hmm ok well I can’t really do anything about that and needless to say 4.5 years on no one has ever fallen down that step.

I’ve found some hv are lovely, some are very opinionated and unhelpful.

I have also come up against judgement for formula feeding. I find being quite brisk and resolute helps. If they sense any uncertainty about how you’ll be feeding they pounce on you and try to guilt you into breastfeeding. I’m pregnant with my third now and I’ll be formula feeding from the start. I just say that’s what I’ll be doing, im happy with my decision, polite but firm and am not open to discussing it further.

When my HV did this visit for my second kid, my husband was in the middle of painting the lounge, 2 year old was running round half naked and half covered in paint and I had to take her up to one of the bedrooms to find enough clear space to sit down. She wasn't fazed at all, just had a chat about how I was feeling, how the pregnancy had gone, asked if I felt safe at home, and told me about the support they offer post birth.

I found it a useful intro to my HV. She just sat in your our lounge, told me her background, asked about us, she takes through the handover from midwives to health visitor service post-delivery, asked if we'd managed to attend antenatal classes or needed anything, gave me relevant contact numbers and info on PND etc and generally was really helpful. Nothing snooty or snoopy or anything and I don't remember anything about feeding except she put pack included details of the local breastfeeding support group. She asked a bit about our approach to parenting - had we discussed how we each felt about things like discipline and had we talked about our own upbringings and what we might each expect etc.

Remember the visit is also for you to get to know your HV, so ask about their background etc and get a sense of what they're like. I was so glad we had the meeting when we did - my contractions started 15mins after she left (10 days early). I gave birth 27hrs later and she was visiting me on maternity shortly afterwards 🤣 we knew our son was likely to have a neurological condition (which he does) and would have weekly HV home visits, so it was important for me to get on well with my HV and find her easy to talk with. Two years later, we are shortly going to be signed off the extended visiting programme, it's been amazing and we're so lucky to have had her support (including weekly FaceTime calls during lockdown etc).

Oh yeah, she also recommended a few apps which are useful - the BabyCheck app which is useful if you're not sure do you child might need to see the doctor. Also the BabySee app which literally helps you see how your baby's vision developed - eg I was amazed when I used it to look at beautiful displays of Christmas lights, many of them weren't visible to my son at all at 2mo!

Both times for me they introduced themselves and explained their services.

I was asked to fill in a short mental health survey so that they could use this as a benchmark to check for PND afterwards.

She never left the living room, nor asked to go anywhere else. I can't remember if we discussed feeding or not.

I liked both my HVs and found them useful and helpful. At the post natal visit they gave me details of all the local baby clubs.

I’ve never heard of a prenatal visit. I certainly never had one. I thought they were only for after the baby was born, after you were signed off from the midwife service.

Keep an open mind and find out about the role of the HV and how they can support you.

Thanks everyone for the replies. It sounds like they aren't always as intrusive and pushy as other threads would suggest, so hopefully I will also be lucky with my HV.

With DC1’s HV I got the distinct sense that I’d have to have upturned needles in the carpet and open the door announcing my intention to chuck the baby out the window for her to have taken any notice. She did tell me she couldn’t endorse my choice to co-sleep, which I chuckled at and said that was fine by me. The HV service ran a weaning class that lasted for 11 minutes and didn’t mention baby led weaning. Then when my daughter was turning one (during lockdown 2) they posted me a questionnaire about her that they said they’d follow up on in 1-2 weeks. They phoned four months later. The whole thing is incredible, it would be funny if it wasn’t so terrifying for the babies you have to assume are slipping through all kinds of nets.

At my antenatal visit, I didn't find her patronising and she didn't ask to look round my house. It was perfectly pleasant in all honesty.

What I did find out pretty soon afterwards, is that the health visiting service in general in my area is entirely useless in a practical sense. I'm yet to understand their true purpose for the average mum and it's worrying how many problems must go unnoticed.

Just to update on this. The Health Visitor was very nice and not judgemental at all when I said I was probably going to combi feed for a bit and then move on to formula exclusively. Most of it was just to explain the service and when they take over from midwives, etc.