Pressure to stay at work longer

[Panda368]

I will be 36 weeks with baby no 2 on Friday and was planning on taking annual leave to start my mat leave next Wednesday.

My boss is now panicking about me finishing and putting a lot of pressure on me to work through to 38 weeks instead. I really don't want to.

My official maternity leave starts the week of the 22nd. Am I right in thinking there is nothing he can do to stop me taking my annual leave? I know 100% that if I don't take it I wont be paid it and I'm sure he cant force me?

I'm not good at saying no to people at the best of times but I am just 100% done. I've got bad SPD, not sleeping, and have an almost 3 yearold toddler that doesn't sleep passed 5.30. My head is not in a work space and I have a house thats still part way through being refurbished (downstairs floors going down next week). I desperately want to sort out the house and nest.

He cant make me can he? Work is an hours commute 3 days a week and I WFH 2 days plus occasional trips to customers that are up to a 2.5 hour drive away and its just fucking killing me.

No he can't make you.
All you have to simply say is no.
He should have been more prepared.

Why do you think your holiday won't be paid if you don't take it? Do they have form for that?

Have you told him that you're struggling?

If there's any issue, it'll be that you're taking annual leave, not maternity leave, from the date you've requested. The terms for annual leave are that the company should grant it if it can be accommodated within the business. But in this situation, I suppose all you could do is agree to forfeit your annual leave and bring your maternity leave date forward to Wednesday.

“No, that does not work for me”.
Rinse and repeat OP

Technically it's annual leave not maternity leave so gets treated as any AL meaning it can be cancelled if good business need but i think they'd have to have a really good reason and be cancelling others AL to not get in trouble for it

Im feeling a bit stuck because he hasn't explicitly said he wants to cancel the annual leave he just wants me to not take it. If he had decided to cancel it I would have bought forward my mat leave start date. But I think you need to give 4 weeks notice if you want to change the dates for mat leave? is that right?

I know 100% if I don't take the 10 days leave I wont get it back and wont be paid it based on my previous mat leave and I have told him this.

I don't particularly want to go into how hard it's getting, I don't feel I should be forced to disclose personal pregnancy issues in order to be able to take some leave.
I've been unable to take more than a single 5 day stretch of leave all year because of how short staffed we are and he still wanted me on email etc for part of that 5 days.

I lost a chunk of my christmas last year because of some urgent shit that came up and Im sick of being guilted and pressured into losing time Im entitled to take.

He just doesn't trust the person he has hired to take on my work and he has a new person starting on the 8th which he really wants me to support.

It’s not your problem at all OP. If you already have your leave booked then it’s booked, don’t be bullied into cancelling it. I’d act oblivious and carry on as you are and finish for your leave. If they’re in the s**t it’s not your fault. Put yourself first x

Can he legally just cancel your holiday though? As in, not let you take it but not pay you it either? Sounds dodgy to me, I would query this directly with payroll.

Also, failure to prepare on his part does not constitute an emergency on yours. Tell him this. It's not like pregnancy just springs up from around the corner and off you go on maternity, he has had WEEKS to get ready for you leaving.

I understand the predicament you're in, do you have a personal connection that makes it difficult for you to set boundaries in the workplace? Just asking because I work with family and have issues like this all the time and people who view it as 'just work' really struggle to understand why I can't just walk away & don't give advice I feel able to follow.
The policy of not paying out holiday if you don't take it isn't uncommon, lots of contracts have that - but it's seriously naff since your boss is trying to prevent you from taking it.
I can understand that he's probably panicking that he's planned for you to be off from x date and now it's going to be earlier but I have repeatedly told my colleagues that I could theoretically have the baby up to 2 months in advance of due date, so they need to have an emergency plan in place in case that happens so your boss is really not in the right to be unable to cope with you leaving a few weeks early using holiday you are entitled to, you could have already had the baby and he'd have no way to try & convince you to keep working then! May be worth mentioning this to him to give him some perspective?
If it's in your contract that you need to give a certain amount of notice before taking your holiday or that it needs to be 'approved', it's a little difficult for you to insist on taking it if he tries to refuse it, probably depends on your contract, so worth consulting that & seeing what you've agreed to in that respect. So potentially he could refuse you your annual leave but it would be pretty poor form, but you'd need to have the courage to be firm about if he tries to refuse which it sounds like you struggle with.
The 8th is a long way away, again, you could theoretically go into labour before then even if you promised him you'd stay to support this new employee.
Your boss has basically left it all way too last minute and is now putting you under pressure to keep working without understanding that it could have all been out of either of your control anyway and he should have prepared better because nature doesn't really care about your due date.
I appreciate you don't want to share the details of your pregnancy with your boss but if you don't feel able to push to take the annual leave you want, then perhaps saying you're not able to work to the same capacity in this stage of your pregnancy and need to cut out client meetings & WFH a few more days if he expects you to keep working?
10 days doesn't look like it will cover you through to the 19th though? Assuming that's your last day of work? You'll be 2-3 days short?

Also I would add, employers are required to make reasonable adjustments to accommodate pregnancy. If he refuses your holiday can you request to WFH until your mat leave starts and stop doing client meetings? Back office only.

Worst case scenario you could probably get sick leave approved by your GP if you can't take the holiday and really don't want to keep working, which would trigger your maternity leave to start immediately. He can't do shit about that.

They need to give you notice of cancelling your leave, at least the length of the leave.

www.acas.org.uk/checking-holiday-entitlement/asking-for-and-taking-holiday

Hi Lovely @Panda368.

I’ve just had a very similar experience with my employer as they did not recruit for my role, so they tried to plough me with as much work as they could and encourage me to stay on.

Legal advice - bottom line is, they can cancel your leave but must give as much notice as the length leave you have requested as above.

If they do cancel your leave - go sick. If you go sick within four weeks of your maternity date it triggers maternity leave and it starts anyway. And then tag your cancelled leave on to the end of your maternity! Do NOT feel pressured into working on. It pisses me off that employers do this to women when they’ve had more than enough time to prepare. They make what should be an enjoyable time really stressful. Put yourself first hun. Xxx

I think legally speaking they can refuse your annual leave. Can you not start your mat leave earlier. I dont think you should work on if you don't want to.

@jolota well spotted. It’s actually 13 days I’m taking it just felt easier to write 10 for some reason.

I have always told my boss I would be taking 10 days to use up my AL ahead of my proper mat leave starting. I’ve not jumped him with a last no min demand. I’m taking 2 more for my toddlers 3rd birthday.
It’s not a family type link with work that makes it hard it’s because we have a tiny team and since COVID we were running as a team of 3 (including my boss) but this year have been trying to recruit but for various reasons 1 junior we hired didn’t work out, another person started in august who is the one who should be taking the majority of my load but is not catching on fast enough.

We had another person accept an offer in august but backed out again 2 weeks later and now another new start who has refused to start any earlier than the 8th.

It’s not been ideal and I’m very used to the whole “if I don’t do it there is no one else”. I like my job and care about doing things well which my boss definitely exploits. Plus I’m the most “technically” competent and experienced person he has so he’s super stressed. But I can’t handle it being made to be my problem when I just want some time to wind down, sort my house and spend some 1 on 1 with my toddler before his world explodes.

I don’t think what you’re asking is too much OP.

So if it’s just guilting you into not taking your annual leave - don’t do it. “That does not work for me” rinse and repeat reply

If he does cancel your annual leave - start your mat leave early.

The organisational problems are not yours - they will have know about your intentions for mat leave and it is up to them to put things in place.

Maybe some scare stories about people having waters break at work, ruining carpets etc, or observations about current ambulance waits and possibility of having to give birth there could be persuasive at this point? Along with how 37 weeks is seen as full term. And how wrapping things up properly before AL may be better than vanishing suddenly for months? Just basically what a massive inconvenience it could be to your boss.

I think you'd fall into the category of immediate mat leave if you went off sick, you'd lose your A/L (though you could fight for it after as they're supposed to roll it over) but they can't force you to keep working.

Very good points about needing proper notice to cancel annual leave. If he tries to do that you can quote the government official guidance: "An employer can refuse a leave request or cancel leave but they must give as much notice as the amount of leave requested, plus 1 day. For example, an employer would give 11 days’ notice if the worker asked for 10 days’ leave."

He's too late for that now. Don't let him bully you into not taking your leave, you have legal rights here.

@panda368
Oh if you've had this holiday booked for a while then he's definitely being super unreasonable now trying to get you to stay longer & yes agree with pp to check your contract, he should have to give a certain amount of notice before cancelling your leave anyway.
Appreciate it is difficult though, we're a very small company & have had trouble hiring and we do now have new staff but I still feel the same, that they won't be ready to actually take on my work load by the time I leave. So the stress of knowing that things won't get done while I'm gone or I'll come back to a mess is not fun.
Whilst it's hard to stand your ground, it really isn't your fault that these new hires haven't worked out until the last minute and your boss needs to respect the time you've booked off. I imagine he's less capable at training them than you would be?
He's obviously exploited your work ethic and will continue to do so at any opportunity I imagine, but if you really feel that you're done then try and be firm and hopefully he'll back down and accept your holiday dates.
It would possibly help to remind him that if the baby came early there's nothing you could do anyway so he should be working under the idea that the baby is here from when you go on holiday and not that this is time he could still have you working.

My boss definitely couldn't train someone as we have super different roles - He is sales/account management I am design/ account and to a degree technician.

He can manage about half my role but the real technical side he really cant do. It doesn't help that the other designer who has been in the business a long time has currently cut his hours down to part time due to the stress of doing everything on his customers finally becoming too much. I feel sorry for the girl he has bought in to take part of my role as she is competent but she is canting onto things slower than hoped.

It is purely because my boss has been trying to run a super lean outfit that has literally 0 slack for so long he hasn't realised how specialised and skilled me and the other designer are and has basically driven us both into the ground through exploiting our good will.

I feel like you're literally describing my work environment.
I'm surprised that your other colleague cutting down his hours hasn't given your boss a bit of a wake up call.
Being so lean is always a risk and your boss is now going to have to learn the lesson that relying so heavily on such a small number of people puts you in a difficult position when one person is not available to work. Hopefully he understands that it's not sustainable long term, especially since you're not the only colleague struggling under the pressure.

Boss has finally asked me to stay on until to the 12th this morning - well he emailed last night.
Offered to pay me the extra week...

Also he suggested giving my work laptop to the new person who is starting on the 8th so he really hasn't thought this through... I guess it's a threat incase I say no - they will take the laptop back - which is a shame but no real skin off my nose apart from the extra hassle of wiping every password and bit of personal data off the keychain

I've counter offered. Saying I need the time off and not the money and offered to spend a bit of next week - as I usually would when having any holiday time - clearing any stray loose ends/ answering any outstanding questions and offering support on our internal systems and email.

I was chasing my toddler through a soft play yesterday which set off some very solid braxton hicks which too hours to clear and I had to sleep sitting up due to horrific heartburn last night I'm 100% knackered and entirely done with this week already

Stay firm!

Did this get resolved? Are you on leave now? :)

@GinnyBee I am off now though have been checking in on a few things on Skype and email as i would when on ‘normal’ holiday.

I haven’t done anything today though and don’t plan on anything tomorrow either. I’m just on had for any surprise questions that crop up