Emotions after miscarriage

[Salire86]

Hi, I’m just looking for some reassurance from anyone who has gone through the same thing. I had a missed miscarriage last week and a erpc. I felt fine that day and the day after as I had felt I had dealt with feeling of loss in the week leading up to my confirmation scan. However I feel completely overwhelmed the past three days. I’m crying all the time and feel negative about all aspects of my life. I have an amazing toddler and partner but I can’t lift this cloud. I don’t know do you get a hormone crash after a miscarriage that could be contributing to this. I have an overwhelming desire to be pregnant again but know I have to wait awhile now after the procedure for the lining of my womb to build up again. Just want to hear how others have felt after this. This was my only miscarriage but I never expected to feel this way.

@Salire86 I'm currently going through a MMC at ten weeks. I passed most of it last week however still bleeding as I had a natural miscarriage. I also felt ok on the day of the actual miscarriage and like you felt I had grieved. However it now keeps coming in waves. Sometimes I will be ok and then sometimes I break down and cry. I think like u say it's the hormones but no one prepares you for this. It's a cruel time. This is also my first miscarriage and I also have an overwhelming desire to get pregnant again 😩 it's all I can think about. X

@Skl2021 everyone is being so kind and telling me to be kind to myself so I guess that’s all wecan do now. I’m going to try focus on being as healthy as I can for the next cycle and trying again after that but I’m afraid only one cycle is too little. I f do not think I could manage waiting three. I don’t know how I’ll cope with negative tests either if that happens too. I was always very relaxed about ttc but I feel like this will have changed me mentally.

@Salire86 yes I also am trying to eat better and have been looking at vitamins and everything already. Why do u have to wait three cycles? I think that would be tough and a long time to wait. Have all your tests gone back negative? Mine are still really dark so don't know whether to try straight away or wait until after first period. I found ttc took over my life I was constantly testing so not looking forward to going back to that especially with how much my body is desperately wanting it now 😩 I totally understand how it will change you. I think you will know when your ready to start again. If you can't wait 3 cycles then don't. Do what's right for you 💞 x

What you say about the miscarriage changing you mentally really resonated with me. I lost a pregnancy at 12 weeks when my first child was 15 months old and despite having a wonderful little boy to keep my spirits up I felt desperately sad and was a bit obsessed with falling pregnant again. It’s a horrible thing to go through and I found it extremely hard to talk about, especially with anyone who hadn’t experienced a miscarriage. It gets easier, but it takes a bit of time. Cuddle your toddler lots and look up the support threads on here. You’re not alone in this.

Also totally fine to start trying whenever you’re ready, I believe. Recent research shows that conceiving within 6 months of a loss raises the chances of a successful pregnancy, so no reason to delay if you don’t want to (and you have no individual medical concerns).

@Skl2021i haven’t taken any tests, my doc didn’t advise to but he said the lining of my womb could be thin after the erpc so it’s best to wait two or three cycles but also said it wouldn’t be the end of the world if it happened sooner. I’d just be afraid I could increase my chance of another mc if I don’t wait. I think he’s going to scan me in 5 weeks time so I suppose I’ll know more then.

@RoseAndGeranium I’m so lucky I have my little one to distract me.

@Salire86 hope your doing ok x

Thanks @Skl2021. I’m feeling a lot better. It’s still on my mind all the time but the tears have stopped. Just counting the days for when we can try again now. Trying not to think about the whys and block the negative thoughts. How are you doing?

@Salire86 I'm feeling positive too don't get me wrong I still have down days and tears come and go. We are made of strong stuff and will get through it 🙌 I have just taken my first pregnancy test since it happened and thankfully it's negative I can breathe again. However my opks are positive so I could be ovulating again however it seems so early. But don't know why else it would be positive xx

@Skl2021 I took a test after you mentioned it the other day and it was positive so I’m going to leave it another week. I’m still spotting, it seems to disappear for nearly a day and I think it’s done but then it comes back again. I never thought I’d be so eager to have a period! It’s going to be a long slog though because the next time I’ll be on edge until I get to the second trimester. I hate to think I won’t enjoy it when it will hopefully be our second and last baby.

@Salire86 I'm still spotting too which is confusing me and it comes and goes! Sick of wearing pads now. That's why I thought I can't be ovulating so I'm stuck now with what to do. Yes I think when it happens again I don't think I would be able to relax I would constantly be on edge thinking something is wrong. Not a nice feeling is it when your meant to enjoy pregnancy especially if it's you last one. I have also been struggling with bad headaches lately have u had any? Never get headaches was wondering if it's the hormones crashing down x

@Skl2021 no headaches, I’m sure it could be hormonal or perhaps tiredness…are you managing to sleep ok? I was so tired for the first week after. I think I might book in for bloods with my gp just to reassure myself all looks ok.

@Salire86 yes I think it is they come and go. I am also super tired. I was thinking of going to gp aswell but didn't think they would do anything with it being my 1st miscarriage. I'm getting dizzy alot wanted to make sure my iron was ok. So crap that u get no help.

@Skl2021im not sure if it’s different in the Uk but I can just book in for bloods with the practice nurse, I suppose because I am paying for it here. Definitely worth asking that you want to get your thyroid and iron levels checked given the circumstances. I can’t imagine they’d argue that when it’s such a small thing to do.

@Salire86 yes my doctor's are useless at the best of times had to fight for bloods last time for something else so don't have much hope in them. Is wrong really when we're not asking for alot. Just want to make sure Everything is ok before we try again