Scared after a previous miscarriage

[JCHA366]

Hi Everyone,

I had a miscarriage in July this year, and have found out that I am pregnant again. Honestly I feel like my mental health was just starting to get back to a good place, and it feels a little bit kismet, I had put off my studies due to being so behind, and dumped another thing that had been causing me stress. The day I found out was 5 days before my period was due, and I just had this overwhelming feeling to go do a test. The line was faint, and is SUPER dark now.

Since yesterday I've been having this little pain near my right hip. It seems to have moved, before I was convinced it was my ovary, now I'm not so sure. Hubby reckons its gas because I ate too many chickpeas and chewed too much gum yesterday, but I'm freaking out. Feel like I'm running to the loo every ten minutes to check that there's no blood.

I rung somewhere called the "early pregnancy clinic" in my town (they work out of the hospital) and they sent me to get my HCG levels checked - which was good of them, but they can't tell me anything that I can't see from a pregnancy and feel in my body - it's going up. The midwife I had last time is not taking any more clients, and her partner is on leave until the middle of next week, so I don't really have anyone I can contact for reassurance. After last time (which was my first pregnancy) my husband and I have decided not to tell anyone. I feel so lonely and scared - has anyone had any similar experiences or know any tricks to deal with the overwhelming anxiety I'm feeling?

I am so sorry about your mc! I had a mmc in last November, and concived again in April. I was exactly the same. Every little pain scared the hell out of me, convinced myself mc was happening again, kept running to the toilet in every 10 minutes to check there was no blood, tested on cheap strips to see the line progression. I would love to say it will get easier, but not really. I had a privet scan at 8 weeks and told myself I will calm down if I see the little heartbeat (last time the baby didn't make it that far) but of course after, I started to stress about the 12 weeks scan, 16 weeks, 20 weeks...it started to get a bit easier when I started to feel the baby kick (18weeks) and my belly started to grow. But in the same time I was worrying about the preterm birth... I'm 29+3 now and although the baby growing nicely and healthy, I still get scared when I don't feel the baby kick sometimes.
My advice would be to take every day as it comes. Today you are pregnant, and try to celebrate it. Try to plan activities to take your mind off it. Get some private scans later on if you can ( I had mine at 8, 16 weeks and will have one soon) as seeing your baby and taking the photographs home to look at can make you feel much better. Also, allow yourself to be excited! I started to buy things early. It might sounds weird but having baby stuff around and thinking about how to plan the nursery and what to buy made me belive the baby really is on it's way and everything will be fine!

Oh sweetheart, I know exactly how you feel! You are me 2 years ago! Exact months and everything! I'm currently sat watching my 17m old shovel banana into her mouth as if she's never been fed!

Being honest, I was terrified my whole pregnancy, spoke to the mental health midwife frequently, had lots of reassurance scans and spent a lot of my pregnancy crying. But as soon as I went into labour all my fears disappeared and I knew my little one would arrive safe and sound, and she did!

I don't say the above to scare you, but to reassure you it's normal, you've gone through a terrible ordeal and you're scared you're going to experience the same. It doesn't help when you read of people's experiences on here of multiple losses, I convinced myself I couldn't be lucky enough to only have 1 loss!

Things I found helpful included listen to music, keeping busy, keeping off the internet, speaking to the mental health midwife and asked for regular appointments- they were super accommodating!

Best of luck and stay positive

Are we the same person OP?!
Had a MC in July dropped out of uni as I couldn't cope...just found out I'm pregnant today 4 days before period. I'm getting awful cramps and I've convinced myself this isn't a sticky baby.
Sending you all my love x

It's horrible right? I'm fluctuating between joy that it happened again quickly, and sadness and fear that I'm going to have to face the pain that I only just feel like I've recovered from. My uni have been great at deferring, I literally arranged it the day before I found out, it's like I subconsciously knew that I couldn't deal with the stress and had to get rid of it before I could know for sure. Got an HCG test yesterday and heading in for another one tomorrow. I think I'd like to see where I was at at this point in the last pregnancy, but not sure if that's just going to give me something else to worry about. I guess it might be better to just let go and enjoy being scared if that's even possible!

Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I suffered one around 4 years a go and am now 20 weeks pregnant. It was one of the most traumatic experiences and reading your message I just really related with you! I was SO nervous and still do get apprehension about this current pregnancy. I actually had an early scan at around 7 weeks privately in the city I live in. Not sure if that is an option for you but it definitely helped with reassurance. The pain you were feeling sounds normal though - all pains and aches you experience as your body prepares!

Have you tried meditation? Just to help with feelings of stress. You're not alone and it's natural to feel nervous and anxious especially in those first 12 weeks. It feels like the longest 12 weeks ever doesn't it!? I just sort of told myself what will be will be, just literally take each day as it comes, look after and take care of yourself, I'm sure you are doing everything to ensure you're staying healthy etc!! Get plenty of rest when you can too