Pregnant and want to leave partner

[berriesandcream1]

Hey everyone

I recently found out I'm pregnant, I'm only about 5/6 weeks so it's very early days, but I'm really worried as had to have a TFMR earlier in the year at 13 weeks for edwards.

Since becoming pregnant this time, I very recently found out that my partner was cheating on me the whole time I was pregnant last time with his ex (they have a 5yo daughter together). She sent me screenshots of messages and photos and it's made me feel sick.

He's always been quite controlling but it's got really bad in the last few months. He sold his work van so now uses my car for work and I'm stuck at home all day and can never do anything. I work from home so it isn't a problem in that respect, but it stops me having a social life. Especially now I'm pregnant and worrying after last time, I don't want to be stuck at home alone all of the time.

If I tell him I need the car for the day he makes me drop him to work and pick him up which leaves me exhausted, as well as not being able to do much because I have to be constantly checking the time in case I have to leave to collect him.

It's really getting me down and if I weren't pregnant I would have probably left by now. Im scared of being pregnant and alone but that's how I feel anyway at the moment.

I don't know what to do and suppose I don't even really know what I'm asking in this post but if anybody has been through anything similar and left their partner whole pregnant I'd be really grateful.

Nobody else knows I'm pregnant yet as I'm scared to tell anyone until I know everything's ok after last time.

Thanks in advance, xxx

When I got pregnant unexpectedly I stayed with a not so great man. I sooooo wish I had been strong enough to have dumped him. If abortion sits well with you it is an option... I kept my dc with No regrets but we had years of being afraid and miserable.

You know you need to leave him. What's the situation with housing, do you own/rent? Whose name is the rent/mortgage in?

Termination isn't an option, not after having to make that decision not out of choice earlier in the year. It really affected me and I couldn't go through it again.

I earn decent money and can support myself and a child, it's just hard the thought of leaving. We currently rent and pay half each, I could easily cover the whole rent alone though. It's just getting him to leave.

I've also found out from his ex that he has a history of DV. He hasn't ever laid a hand on me but is very emotionally abusive. He will give me the silent treatment for days at a time and it's horrible when living together. I'm constantly treading on eggshells but this time I feel a little different and want to be strong for this baby, really hope everything is ok with it. It's such a stressful time and I've never felt so alone xx

The cheating whilst you were pregnant is bad enough but domestic violence?! No way.

Why would you risk staying with someone knowing that’s what they’re like. Just tell him it’s over, put his stuff in the front garden and get the locks changed. Really good that you can afford the rent yourself and you’ll get a discount on council tax too.