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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

So terrified for my 12 weeks scan tomorrow

45 replies

MSHxx · 20/10/2021 07:20

24 hours away from my 12 week scan and I feel
So restless, so nervous, unbelievably anxious. We've suffered a lot of early miscarriages and I've never reached this point before. We had a scan at 6 weeks which showed heartbeat, another scan at 8 weeks, again heartbeat and all was okay, again at 10 weeks and again all okay. I have my 12 week scan tomorrow where I'll be 12+4 and I am crapping myself, keep telling myself it's a missed miscarriage or the baby has disappeared, I am on my wits end with worrying and then I'm worrying that I'm worrying to much. My partner keeps telling me everything will be perfect and I feel awful for wanting to snap at him for saying that. I've chosen to go into work in the morning to just get my mind off it before the afternoon scan, but now I'm regretting that choice also🤦🏼‍♀️ I just so want everything to be okay

OP posts:
Incywinceyspider · 20/10/2021 08:06

Bless you. The 12 week wait is the scariest time. Obviously there are no guarantees but there's a very very strong probability that everything is fine, especially since you've seen the heartbeat at 10 weeks.

Perhaps you need to speak to your midwife about how anxious you're feeling. Otherwise you're going to drive yourself mad with worry over the next 28 weeks, which isn't good for baby.

MyOtherProfile · 20/10/2021 08:08

Do you still have pregnancy symptoms? Hoping for a lovely scan of your baby tomorrow.

Original poster
MSHxx · 20/10/2021 08:21

@Incywinceyspider

Bless you. The 12 week wait is the scariest time. Obviously there are no guarantees but there's a very very strong probability that everything is fine, especially since you've seen the heartbeat at 10 weeks.

Perhaps you need to speak to your midwife about how anxious you're feeling. Otherwise you're going to drive yourself mad with worry over the next 28 weeks, which isn't good for baby.

When I had my booking in appointment over the phone (my trust still is having it over the phone rather than face to face. I even have my consultant appointment next week over the phone) I did mention how anxious I was getting and she suggested a mental health midwife which I'm most definitely going to explore
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Original poster
MSHxx · 20/10/2021 08:22

@MyOtherProfile

Do you still have pregnancy symptoms? Hoping for a lovely scan of your baby tomorrow.
I am indeed, sickness but not being sick. And tiredness. They've been my main ones from about week 6
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sunshine423 · 20/10/2021 08:28

Your feelings are completely valid and understandable. I am sorry for your losses and no matter how many people say 'it'll be fine this time', it's hard to believe it when everything has been taken away so suddenly before. I am currently 14 weeks following a stillbirth last year and just try to get through it one day at a time. There are times where my mind goes wild but also those where it's calmer and I try to make the most of those. I get a lot of support from the bereavement midwife and hope that the mental health midwife is a good support for you going forward. I haven't read it yet but 'Pregnancy After Loss' by Zoe Clark-Coates has good reviews. All the very best to you. Daffodil

Original poster
MSHxx · 20/10/2021 08:36

@sunshine423 so so sorry for your loss🥺

I do agree with the somedays going crazy, others I'm calm. I feel like a week after I've had the scans im fine for that week and then I panic thinking is everything still okay and I've had no reasons at all to think otherwise but it's definitely mental mind games. I think I'll be fine tomorrow once I've had the scan, but I do also think the hospital plays a factor in my fear because I've only ever had bad news there. I know people will say change hospitals, but the hospital has been so kind to me in my experiences. It's just the mental side which is my problem only I suppose

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SunsetSmartmeter · 20/10/2021 08:37

Hi OP, anxiety is understandable after all you've been through, and as others have said there's nothing any of us can say that will magic it away, but there are people here to listen. If you've seen a heartbeat at 6, 8 and 10 weeks you have moved out of the major danger zone however - the stats may have changed as I first went through this 15 years ago so don't quote me but I was told the risk of miscarriage drops to less than 3% if a heartbeat could be seen by 8 weeks. Whilst you are never completely out of the woods in pregnancy, by the time someone is at the stage you're at, with the scan results you've had, the chances are that all is looking good.

I think getting in contact with the MH midwife is a good step. It would be good to try and manage the anxiety so that you can enjoy this pregnancy, you deserve that. Take care OP Flowers

Original poster
MSHxx · 20/10/2021 08:43

@SunsetSmartmeter I needed to read this🥺 thank you so much x

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Missnicolinda96 · 20/10/2021 08:45

Having had scans at 6, 8 and 10 weeks all looking good it's highly unlikely anything will be wrong at this one. Seeing a heartbeat and growing baby at each of those means that your risk dropped each time. I am the same though, so I absolutely understand. I had one at 7 weeks, just had another at 8 and am probably going to have one at 10 before my dating scan at just over 12. It's just about telling yourself that most pregnancies go uneventfully, particularly after good previous scans. Wishing you all the best!

Original poster
MSHxx · 20/10/2021 08:50

@Missnicolinda96 the scans I had definitely helped me that early on. We had the 6 week one with our nhs clinic (I was with the recurrent miscarriage clinic) and they were happy so didn't offer anymore, but they freaked me out so we paid privately for the 8 and 10 week scans and we've found the most lonely private scanning place who were amazing with me. The one at 10 weeks the lady gave us an extra 5 minutes scanning and she was telling me how perfect everything was and was so detailed.

Sending you all my love with your pregnancy x

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Original poster
MSHxx · 20/10/2021 08:51

[quote MSHxx]@Missnicolinda96 the scans I had definitely helped me that early on. We had the 6 week one with our nhs clinic (I was with the recurrent miscarriage clinic) and they were happy so didn't offer anymore, but they freaked me out so we paid privately for the 8 and 10 week scans and we've found the most lonely private scanning place who were amazing with me. The one at 10 weeks the lady gave us an extra 5 minutes scanning and she was telling me how perfect everything was and was so detailed.

Sending you all my love with your pregnancy x[/quote]
Lovely**

OP posts:
Derbee · 20/10/2021 09:44

I was a bag of nerves in the lead up to my 12 week scan. I almost wanted to cancel, as I just “knew” that it would be bad news. It wasn’t. Everything was perfect.

According the everything I’ve read, the stats of a miscarriage after seeing a heartbeat at 10 weeks are 0.6%. Or 99.4% that everything will be fine.

It’s easy to worry, and a certain level of worry is normal. But perspective is key. I’m currently 17w4d and trying to be calm about my 20 week scan. The worry never goes away, but I’ve found it important to take some comfort at every goal post.

Let us know how it goes. I’m sure you’ll be fine.

black2black · 20/10/2021 09:47

Just remember, it’s more likely it’ll be fine!

I used this website every day in my last pregnancy datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer. It helped me focusing on the odds.

Original poster
MSHxx · 20/10/2021 10:44

@Derbee it's all mentally isn't it. That's what I'm struggling with the most. It's defiantly the unknown. Hoping tomorrow goes well and I walk out feeling silly for even worrying x

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Original poster
MSHxx · 20/10/2021 10:45

@black2black

Just remember, it’s more likely it’ll be fine!

I used this website every day in my last pregnancy datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer. It helped me focusing on the odds.

I saw this on another thread and I think it's so comforting reading the facts x
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always2tired · 20/10/2021 10:50

I've had early and late miscarriages even after a perfect 12 week scan, please don't worry the 12 week scan is not a magical golden point. Enjoy your pregnancy and try not to worry the chances are higher that everything will be fine. I know it's harder once you have experienced loss. Good luck. 💐💐

changingstages · 20/10/2021 10:55

oh bless you OP, it's so nerve-wracking. After 5 miscarriages I'll never forget the horrific nerves leading up to the 12 week scan. There was a song playing on the radio just as we were about to leave the house for the hospital and when I hear it now it still makes me cry and DD is nearly 11 now! I couldn't look at the screen or anything, just kept my eyes tightly shut, shaking with fear and then the lovely sonographer said, I think you should look at this and there she was, perfect, on the screen. I cried, DH cried, the sonographer cried... it was one of the most amazing moments of my life.

What time is your scan? Can you go for a walk or something beforehand?

Original poster
MSHxx · 20/10/2021 11:03

@changingstages

oh bless you OP, it's so nerve-wracking. After 5 miscarriages I'll never forget the horrific nerves leading up to the 12 week scan. There was a song playing on the radio just as we were about to leave the house for the hospital and when I hear it now it still makes me cry and DD is nearly 11 now! I couldn't look at the screen or anything, just kept my eyes tightly shut, shaking with fear and then the lovely sonographer said, I think you should look at this and there she was, perfect, on the screen. I cried, DH cried, the sonographer cried... it was one of the most amazing moments of my life.

What time is your scan? Can you go for a walk or something beforehand?

Oh my, that is so lovely. What a precious memory🥺 and I have work in the morning and my scan is at 14:15, so I'll be at work, then home to shower and change and straight to the hospital. Made a point to not have time to ponder and overthink, so pre planned to keep myself busy tomorrow x
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HeyFloof · 20/10/2021 13:55

I have an early NHS scan tomorrow. I've had bad news (fetal anomalies that meant we lost him) at the anomaly scan and then a MMC in the last 12 months. I can't even think about it without feeling ill.

My bereavement MW says even with the things that we've been through, the odds are in our favour, I just can't believe or process it. It's a self protection thing.

Original poster
MSHxx · 20/10/2021 14:04

@HeyFloof the joy and innocence is definitely stripped away when you've had bad news after news. Sending you all my love and positive thoughts for tomorrow💓

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SareBear87 · 20/10/2021 14:12

Totally get how you are feeling op!
I'm 12 weeks Friday and we've booked in for another private scan (last one at 7 weeks) as my NHS one isn't for another 2 weeks and I just need to know if things are ok.
Sickness/Nausea started easing a week ago (still shattered with sore boobs) and it's made me more concerned than ever!

The wait is making me feel more sick than the pregnancy nausea!

Itsbeen84yearss · 20/10/2021 14:13

God I don’t miss this. I felt sick for all my scans last year. It’s just awful. Really envied all the excitable young women I saw in the waiting room who just presume it will be ok.
The reality is though it probably will be ok. My baby that I fretted and worried about and convinced myself would disappear/ die/ have something wrong with her has just emptied a shelf all over the kitchen floor and is now snoozing away in my arms. It’ll be ok Flowers

Original poster
MSHxx · 20/10/2021 14:22

@SareBear87 I know I'm only 4 days past the 12 week mark, but lord the wait has been killer. A lot of people I know have announced their pregnancies lately and they are like a couple days or a week after me and had their scans and I feel like I've been left a little late. Paying for these 2 extra scans privately like we need have been our blessing with the wait x

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Original poster
MSHxx · 20/10/2021 14:23

@Itsbeen84yearss so I see she's still keeping you on your toes outside of the womb also😂

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wannabeamummysobad · 20/10/2021 14:32

@MSHxx your thoughts and feelings are completely valid. I was exactly the same ahead of my first trimester scan this morning.

This is my first pregnancy so I have no idea of what are normal symptoms for me (my RHR is slightly elevated but not as much as the internet says, I'm still running and hitting great times etc) so though we'd seen a strong heartbeat at 7 and 10 weeks I didn't sleep last night.

Fast forward to today - baby looks healthy, EDD 27th April.

As others have said if you've heard a strong heartbeat in earlier weeks all will likely be fine tomorrow. But your feelings are natural.