Tips on telling work

[EmilyMay89]

As the title says really! I have my 12 week scan next week and I'm looking for some tips on telling work about pregnancy.

We are currently under staffed and just had someone else leave last week which is making me a bit anxious.

Thanks!

I did a bit of a cop out and just emailed my manager. Everything was a bit up and down for us so it was earlier than I felt comfortable with but I needed to let him know for H&S reasons. So I sent an email with the title something like "Confidential" and said the facts, dates, and that I didn't want anyone what to know just now. He then called me and was very nice, but it was good for me to have got it down on paper as it was all a bit overwhelming and uncertain so I wasn't able to be totally excited about it.

It's actually quite late on in your pregnancy (20/24 weeks) that you have to tell your employer by law unless a special RA is needed.

Just to clarify the 20/24 weeks was a guess, check any HR policy and the government site.

Yeah you don't have to tell until 15 weeks before your due date.

I was always incredibly nervous telling my bosses.
However all they could do was be polite, say congratulations and ask when I was due etc.
Even though it will inconvenience them, they aren't going to say that to your face. (Well most bosses wouldnt)

It'll be fine, honestly. They'll say congratulations and will ask you when you're due. I told my boss I was pregnant when my only counterpart was about 20 weeks, so I was worried about the pressure I would be putting on the business. My manager just laughed and said there must be something in the water. Staffing is their problem, not yours.

As for not having to tell people until 24 weeks, whilst that's true, there is no way I could hide it from about 16 weeks! I started showing really early.

Hi Op,

It really depends on the situation regarding your employment.

In my case, I was only in the new job a month and half (I was in the probation period too) when I conceived and I was working from home; WFH continued to be the arrangement at my company at the time being.

I'd decided not to disclose anything until well after my 20 week scan (it was 25 weeks) and past the probation period so that should have the managers decided to use it against me, they couldn't have - they simply didn't have any idea. It I had to make sure qualify for the SMP. It was paramount for me to be one step ahead.

You never know how the managers will react (or how they may or may not 'manage' you out); I've heard too many dreadful stories to just 'trust' my managers to do the right thing by me. It was all about eligibility criteria and statutory rights.

Once they found out, they were pleasant to me - no idea what they thought behind my back - but I don't really really care if they were 'nice' to me, I needed to make sure my SMP is ring-fenced.

I am a solo parent to be so no support (financial or otherwise) from anyone else.

Thanks everyone! I might do it on a WFH day and at least I can avoid all the little conversations that'll happen after about staffing!! I only started in May so that is also a bit awkward!!

Hey,

I was in a similar position. Even though I'd just told them, and they have no maternity policy so I had no idea what I was entitled to, my boss tried angling at finding out how long I envisaged being off etc. Just be ready to say something in response along the lines of-
'Once I know about my entitlements I'll do some planning and let you know my initial thoughts...'

You don't actually need to let them know until a month before you return, as I understand it, so just wanted to say don't be rushed into saying things they then set in stone.

Good luck with it :)

I also emailed (I was working at home) but I thought it was easier than a phone call. I told my line manager and my boss. I told them after the 12 week scan.

HR then phoned me and she was bouncing all over the screen in excitement for me.

It’ll be fine.
I called in sick to work one day, then emailed my boss from the ward the next to say i was pregnant and I’d been diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum (sickness), was going to be in hospital for the next few days and would be signed off for the next few weeks. THAT was pretty embarrassing - but nothing she could do than be very nice about it. I’ve no idea how she actually felt and am very grateful I worked for a large organisation with a proper HR department!

It'll be fine, they can't exactly say anything negative regardless of what they think.

I started a new role last year June and found out I was pregnant in August. I called my manager and told him straight away as I had terrible motion/morning sickness and was allowed to work from home from August to April this year when I went on maternity leave (I also moved from Kent back to London so I never went into the office at all during this time)

I'm currently pregnant again and go back to work in January 2022 meaning I'll be going on maternity leave again in March😂🙃 you can imagine how I feel as I haven't told my manager yet but I know he'll will be PISSED! But all he can do is smile and say congratulations lol

If you only started in May are you still in probation period?

Most are usually 6 months so I'm thinking it's possible ?

If so I would advise caution and not to tell them if possible until after probation ended

All those saying "it'll be fine" have clearly not experienced maternity discrimination or dismissal as unfortunately too many still do

Protect yourself and as other pps said you're not legally required to tell them until 25 weeks Ish anyway

@Graphista probation was two months so out of that which is a relief. I'm also entitled to enhanced maternity pay already so I feel like they are prepared for new starters to go off quickly!

That's good they have good maternity policies.

Sadly as I think you sound as if you're aware of, not true for all employers, some have to be reminded of even the basic legal entitlements and far too many still "manage out" pregnant employees

Congratulations on the pregnancy wishing you a healthy and relaxed continuing pregnancy