Just found out I’m pregnant again

[Kittty91]

Not sure what to make of the news… me & daughters dad split when she was 4 months… she’s now 10 months, and I’ve just found out I’m pregnant, from us fooling around on and off still (I’m on the pill but my body clearly ignored that factor)…
He’d been casually seeing a girl which ended recently, & he’s not in an amazing headspace, so don’t want to tell him about this just yet as I have no idea what to make of this myself right now & know he won’t be helpful with any input just yet

Sounds like there’s never going to be a right time to tell him if his headspace is off. Maybe bite the bullet and tell him.

I think you're right to take some time.
You need to decide what YOU want to do about the pregnancy first. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

@Chelyanne that’s what I’m trying to do, figure out what I make of it and want to do about it.

Which would be easier if I didn’t keep worrying how everyone else would take the news. Me and ex have a complicated history and we get along extremely well on so many levels, he’s just got a lot of issues and wasn’t prepared after lockdowns and covid and everything to step forward into the real world. Making my family (parents especially) very unhappy. And upsetting his family a lot too.

From how I’ve been thinking today since doing the test I think I’m leaning towards making 2 babies under 2 work as a single mum whether he’s part of it or not. But it’s a lot to consider.

Plus I know when other people find out it’s going to cause some upset as the girl he was seeing for example will lose her shit to be it it bluntly

Are you happy about it? What worries you?
I think its happy news, your daughter will have a sibling ..and if you're still fooling around things must be ok between u two?

@Somerandomgirl things are ok between us but there’s been a lot of damage previously and he’s not in a place where he’s willing to work on or fix that as far as a romantic relationship would be concerned.

I think I’m happy, I just have a lot of worries when it comes to how everyone else will take it. And how he will take it, as the girl he was seeing rawly screwed him over has ruined a lot of friendships for him, interfered at his new job etc.

I would be glad for my daughter to have at least one full blood sibling, not that half siblings or step siblings aren’t real siblings when family’s blend and grow, but I have a niece who has both and she doesn’t feel like she belongs with any of them and feels as though she is left out & I would hate that for my daughter. So this makes me happy for her.
I think im struggling with single mum raising 2 kids with a dad who may or may not step up in the right ways and is very much a teenager in his behaviours a lot of the time.

Regarding your worries... Honestly from my observations and personal experience, men are useless even when youre with them, still doing pretty much everything on your own when it comes to children. Of course there are exceptions but i dont see many of them around.
And i wouldnt care what people would think, you can go with the theory that you wanted second kid and better be with same dad since u havent met anyone else etc. Imagine dealing with a second idiot who won't step up either and both kids be one with one dad one with the other, differentgrandparents etc ..better be with same.. no offence to anyone who has children from different men tho!
You can still meet someone else later

@Somerandomgirl I actually agree… I think it’s better for daughter to have a sibling with same dad… even if it is a mess of complicated that when I break the news to everyone with hit like a lead balloon…

Much easier to deal with one useless lump than two… then who knows what will happen in the future with him or another person…

Definitely holding off telling for a while, for now I’ll keep the news to just me, a close friend and whoever comes across this post 😂…
Honestly I’m nervous of how to tell him that he’s going to be a dad again… I have no idea how he will react…