Anyone else’s husband / partner really weird about pregnancy?

[Sas8899]

I’m 34 weeks with our second baby...during first pregnancy despite it being very much planned my husband was distant, selfish and odd all the way through. Didn’t want sex, didn’t want to feel movements / touch belly, moody, not particularly helpful or empathetic. However once our daughter was born he totally turned it around and was amazing dad and support to me. Doing his fair share of evenings etc and we really reconnected (obviously enough to have another one!).

I’d forgotten about how bad the first time was (where I seriously considered leaving him as I felt so rejected and unsupported)...however the same behaviour has returned this time. Zero sex, doesn’t even sleep in the same bed or want to spend any evenings together just on his playstation living separate lives. It makes me furious and really upset just don’t get why he gets like this...last time he said it’s because he was terrified and in denial and I just reminded him of the baby coming. I think he just freaks out at the change despite planning it again...it makes me really resent him. I just have to keep reminding myself that (hopefully) he’ll be better when the baby arrives like last time.

Anyone else had similar issues?

My ex-husband was very much like that, wouldn't come near me when I was pregnant but expected it when I wasn't!

Had a baby with my new DP and it couldn't have been more different.

I am probably like your DH in this scenario, except I am the one who is pregnant.

We tried having sex once or twice in the early stages of pregnancy, but I was so dry that it was painful for me, and I have just found throughout pregnancy that sex is the last thing I want to do.

I am lucky, in that my DH has been extremely understanding about this, and I am looking forward to resuming our sex life after the birth - being pregnant has just really put me off sex, and I am so glad I am not being pressured or guilted to having to do it at the moment.

If your sex life resumed after the last birth, then that's a good sign, and it may just be that pregnancy kills his libido.

OP i think it's reasonable for your husbands behaviour around sex to have changed, sounds like this happens for a lot of men and women around a pregnancy, but the other behaviour you describe is selfish, immature and disrespectful and I'd have a serious think about calling it out and describing what you'd like to change.
I'd he has planned and agreed to this pregnancy with you then it's not reasonable for him to treat you this way.

Yes totally normal - I think my husband hated pregnancy - didn't engage at all wouldn't touch the bump or anything. I felt very lonely at times. After 7 losses I thought he'd be different when I was finally pregnant with the twins but he was the same and I felt sad about it for the longest time as I'll never be pregnant again. But I've decided that's on him that he's missed out on such a special time. I made the most of my pregnancies and my bumps

I don't think it is ok. I know they don't really understand fatherhood till the baby is there, but the fact he doesn't even want to spend time with you or acknowledge the fact you are carrying his baby is unacceptable. I understand you resent him and I would do the same. He should be around you all the time and make sure you are comfortable and happy. They way he acts he seems like a boy rather than a man and I would not put up with that. There are might be reasons why he won't want to have sex ( especially if he scared he will hurt the baby) but he still should think you are the sexiest women on earth (especially being pregnant!)

My DH is not very interested at all. Which is annoying as I didn't really want another baby but he did!
He still expects me to do/be the same as normal with housework, running round after DD etc. Saying I'll help when you are pregnant which I assume he means when I'm heavily pregnant as I clearly have a bump and would have appreciated the help more in the first trimester!