Evening all,
New here so please be gentle! My boyfriend and I (both 26, I’m soon to be 27) have been together for 4 years and have lived together in our own house for the last 2. Last Friday night I was complaining of sore breasts and feeling generally not great, he joked about me being pregnant which I brushed off. On Saturday morning the thought just wouldn’t leave so I took a test. For the first time in my life the two pink lines appeared.
Obviously I burst into tears and quickly drove to the local supermarket and bought another four. The fancy clear blue digitals confirmed I was at least 3 weeks. Unfortunately my partner was at work when this happened and I had to go to work in the afternoon. While I was excited about being pregnant, I was anxious to tell him as he’s never been keen on having kids. We have been using the pill as our sole method of contraception for just under a year and prior to this I had the implant.
After finishing work, I went straight home and told him. He was not happy and his first reaction was to tell me to have an abortion. Since then I have spent every minute at home in tears. I’m not religious but I just don’t feel like getting an abortion is the right thing for me. I’ve said I’ll phone the local clinic on Monday to organise it but my heart just isn’t in it.
He keeps talking about all the things he’ll lose if I continue with this pregnancy. He won’t even entertain a conversation about everything he could gain. Everything he is concerned about is a temporary loss or change. He’s even gone as far as saying “my best years gone”. He’s 26, works full time in the emergency services and to be honest, doesn’t do much out of work other than play Xbox and walk our dog.
I have always wanted children and while I agree with him that now isn’t the ideal time (but when is the ideal time?), I want to continue this pregnancy and if all goes well, parent this little person and teach them right from wrong etc.
He thinks I’m being emotional/hormonal and that I’ll magically snap out of being upset once I be had an abortion and my hormones have gone back to what he calls normal.
What I need to know is, am I the a**hole for thinking about doing this on my own regardless of whether he wants to be involved or not? I work a stressful job in the emergency services and my family don’t live nearby after I moved 50 miles away from them to help him achieve his career goals. Any advice would be massively appreciated. I haven’t spoken to my mum about this and the only person other than my partner that I’ve told is less than helpful and is more annoyed that I’m stealing her thunder as she is due in January 2022.