TTC DC3 and worried I'll regret it.

[CPHB2021]

Long one so buckle up.
I have two lovely DC and a very supportive DH. I am 25 and had DS aged 20 followed by DD aged 23. We were staying at 2 DC. One boy, one girl, perfect. DD is now 2yo and the hankering for another baby has reared it's VERY prominent head. I had an ovarian scan and suddenly had an emotional thought that I would never have a pregnancy scan again. So here we are TTC no.3. HOWEVER, I am so worried we will regret it and my only concern is money. We both worth full time and even still money isn't in an abundance. We recently bought a 3 bed house and so my DS will have to have DD move in with him- will he hate this? He is 5yo. I know we could love another one but what if we end up scraping the barrel... the world is getting more expensive ( council tax rising, gas and electric) but someone once said 'you won't regret children you have, only children you don't have'

It sounds to me lije you have answered your own question. There are more bonified reasons to not have another than to have one due to an emotive reaction to a scan. You are rightly weighing it up and paying attention to your own wisdom. Sounds like you have a loving but busy family life already. Can you be content with building that? Or will that yearning turn into burning 😉 🔥
Good luck with what is ultimately yours and dh decision. Be happy 😊

@allinadaystwerk

It sounds to me lije you have answered your own question. There are more bonified reasons to not have another than to have one due to an emotive reaction to a scan. You are rightly weighing it up and paying attention to your own wisdom. Sounds like you have a loving but busy family life already. Can you be content with building that? Or will that yearning turn into burning 😉 🔥 Good luck with what is ultimately yours and dh decision. Be happy 😊

I think the yearning is a burning already, I just worry about practicalities. I really feel we have room for one more and at the moment we would be ok financially it's just as they get much older and if things suddenly change with monthly costs etc- would we be left in a compromised position. So difficult 😫 xx

@CPHB2021 in a really similar position to you although not yet ttc.
I have been adamant that I want no 3 since dc2 was born. Like you we have a boy and a girl and they are perfect, healthy, happy children.
More recently the doubt has crept in also around money. We earn well but what if... and time, too. Will we have the time to provide for another.
I'm wondering if we should stick at two and be very grateful for what we have although there's a sadness with that decision.

In your position I would stick with 2.

I also have one of each and thought seriously about a third but practically, financially and for the benefit of my DC (IMO) we’re sticking with 2.

What would a third child add? Stopped at 2 so glad we did.

If 3 would be a bit of a stretch to afford, what happens if/when you get a feeling that you want another baby when your third is older? You’ll be young enough to have children for a long time yet, and you might find it’s not the right decision to keep having more?

The cost of living is rising all the time.

@MsTSwift

What would a third child add? Stopped at 2 so glad we did.

A third child would ‘add’ whatever the first and second did, I should imagine?

@MsTSwift

What would a third child add? Stopped at 2 so glad we did.

As a third child I think I add a lot to my parents lives .

Op what does your dh think about it all?

@Derbee

If 3 would be a bit of a stretch to afford, what happens if/when you get a feeling that you want another baby when your third is older? You’ll be young enough to have children for a long time yet, and you might find it’s not the right decision to keep having more?

The cost of living is rising all the time.

Can't seem to reply to everyone without replying to a quote. I really would like all of my children 'in one go' I would like to regain my life at some point in the future, having done my baby raising years in one chunk. The third would add ( as pointed out ) what my other two have. Joy, laughter, pride, stress, chaos and everything else a child brings to your life. We really feel incomplete and have decided we will make do and work around any issues we have but feel a third child would bring another lovely sibling to our DC. We feel we would always regret it if we decided not to have another.

DH feels the same, although I think he's led by me. We had a long x

We had a long conversation about how we must both be on the same page and that I very much wanted him to voice if he didn't want more as I would hate for him to ever feel resentful if things got tough, that it wasn't his idea to have another. We both feel we would like to have one more.

You seem quite adamant that you want a third so you will have to reconcile that with your anxiety about it.

It sounds like you really want a third, so if you can make it work with your finances/space then I think you should go for it - why not? Having children isn’t a logic exercise, so don’t feel like you need to ‘justify’ it to anyone. Some people will feel ‘done’ with none/one/two, so why is three seen as such a mad idea?

Shelve it for now, you are only 25 - you can have a 3rd later if you still want to. Never say never. But I wouldn't put urges before practicalities personally. And that saying is nonsense - plenty of children are regretted, sadly.