***trigger warning**** unplanned pregnancy

[WHATDoIdoooo]

Hi everyone.

Find myself pregnant with #3 which is very unplanned. Only tested as was late, must have been a contraception fail.

Honestly don't know what to do from here. DH is so anti another child and is booked in for a vasectomy he's so adamant he doesnt want another so I know what his reaction is going to be

Do i just get an abortion and not tell him?

Do i tell him knowing what he is going to say?

Feel so mixed up at the moment no idea how i feel about it

You have had quite a shock!

You do not have to make any decision straight away. Think about how you feel about having a third child, especially with a partner you believe will not be supportive. How would a third child fit into your family? Can you afford a third child?

The most important question is do you want to have another baby?

I’m thinking about you! I was once faced with an unexpected third pregnancy too💐

Talk to him and make it clear you don't know what you want yet.

He doesn't get to be the decision-maker. It needs to be a decision you make together, and if you do opt for abortion you deserve to have strong support by your side.

Good luck OP.

Stop worrying about what he thinks for now and focus on what you think. When you tell him - and I think you must, he's not a random ONS, after all - make sure he knows you're doing some hard thinking, and want to give him thinking time too before you discuss it. Remember you've got a head start, and also that the first thing out of his mouth won't necessarily match his final views!

If he instantly tries to take charge and tell you what to do, just pull back and insist he has thinking time and allows you yours. A lot of noise and drama is the last thing you need.

thanks everyone for your kind words and non judgmental advice.

Similar happened to me. DH was not keen at all, really put a big strain on our relationship at the time (although he did say the decision was mine, he didn't want DC3). He has since had a vasectomy and absolutely dotes on our unexpected 3rd/deeply regrets his knee-jerk response to the news. As others have said, you must do what's right for you, it's your body.

I'm currently pregnant with unplanned no3!

Husband 100% was a NO. It caused some massive fights in the first few days.

However, it was my decision and i didn't feel able to get a termination.

He has now completely come around and very excited as it's a boy and we have 2 girls!

But i was willing to end my marriage over it if he'd been unwilling to come around to it all.

Even though I'm still pretty shocked, now I'm very excited too 😆

Take the time to decide what YOU want to do xx

Take some time to think about what you want before you tell him. Make sure you know how you feel about having a termination, so that he can't talk you into something you're not sure about. But I do think you need to tell him. He may be anti a third on paper but having a termination without his knowledge is a secret that could destroy your relationship if he ever found out.
My husband is very against a third (as am I we

Ugh posted too soon...

My husband is very against a third, as am I, but he doesn't want a vasectomy and it's affecting our sex life a bit as I absolutely wouldn't be able to go through with a termination... so I get how tricky this issue is.

Good luck OP