Anyone else have a 12lb 10oz baby naturally? I'm considering another!

[4daughtersin]

Hi 👋🏻
Despite having had 4 daughters, Im pretty new to Mumsnet.
My husband and I are discussing having a 5th baby.
We've had 4 big baby girls and some difficult labour and hospital experiences. My last daughter was born after much argument with the hospital over being induced. (She measured 10lbs at 36 weeks) I was eventually induced at 40+2 due to high bp and she was born quite horrifically after shoulder dystocia, mcroberts manoeuvre, a huge PPH and retained placenta, weighing 12lb 10oz. I honestly have no idea how we avoided a c section! Had I have not had high bp, they'd have made me go the full 42 weeks.
I've been left with some mental scars surrounding pregnancy and labour and trusting the doctors. I felt totally ignored at the end of my pregnancy.
Am I crazy to consider a 5th? What if it all happens again! Will the doctors try and make me go to 42 weeks again?
For context my other girls weighed 9lb 2, 9lb 5 and 10lb 9, the last being 2 weeks overdue, so my 4th was a leap above them.
I love being a mum and I can't imagine never going through the baby bit ever again. I can't turn the feeling off.
I know there can't be many women who have been through similar to me, but any advice would be appreciated. Especially anyone with experience of shoulder dystocia.
Xx

You poor thing and it sounds helpful to talk to others who have been through similar, I hope someone answers. That must have been so stressful.
My advice would be also to look way beyond the baby idea and look at your family as a whole and longer term: would you have the stability in all areas to manage more, knowing life can have its changes/ uncertain times. And also are each of your girls getting the attention they need growing up? I feel this is more important and sure you’ll have considered these things, as concerns about an actual birth can be dealt with and hopefully resolved with the right medical advice.

Did they ever test you for gestational diabetes? If not it’s something I would request

You need to focus on the developing personalities of your children and allow your relationship to develop with them. It will change as they grow out of the baby stage but that doesnt mean less close or less fulfilling, just different.
I think with the issues you had last time and the babies getting progressively bigger each time, it would be a risk and with 4 already, personally I would stop and change my focus.

My sister had an 11lb 10oz baby. All the hospital staff came to have a look at him in amazement.
She gave birth without any pain relief at all, not even gas and air. Took a while to get him out, they needed forceps in the end, and there was a bit of stitching up.
It was her first baby, the second one was a ‘normal’ size, maybe 7 or 8 pounds?
Not sure why he was so big. He’s been completely average in size ever since.

I had 3 boys, 9lb 4 oz, 10Ib 6 oz and 11lb 8oz, first two natural, third ecs, 1st and 3rd were both 3 weeks early. Consultant advised me to not have anymore. My ex was 11lb and I was 9lb 4, I'm just touching 5ft and not very wide. They are all 6 footers now.

@Helenahandkart

My sister had an 11lb 10oz baby. All the hospital staff came to have a look at him in amazement. She gave birth without any pain relief at all, not even gas and air. Took a while to get him out, they needed forceps in the end, and there was a bit of stitching up. It was her first baby, the second one was a ‘normal’ size, maybe 7 or 8 pounds? Not sure why he was so big. He’s been completely average in size ever since.

I had all the other wards visitors coming over to take a look at my youngest. He looked like a cute little bulldog 😆

You could always request a C section.

If you want another then remove the risk factors where possible. Get tested for diabetes / pre-diabetes / pcos / insulin resistance, lose weight if you’re overweight or obese, get your thyroid tested, and when you get pregnant make sure you talk to your midwife about controlling weight gain during pregnancy. They can give you some useful tips - as you have a history of macrosomia they may advise you to maintain rather than gain. You would probably have to push for a consultant referral too & make sure you don’t go over 39/40 weeks.

I had a section with first,over 11lb after that I wasn’t allowed to go past 41 weeks then past 39...maybe due to the section as well as large babies, I’d be surprised if they let you go to 42 weeks or anywhere near that after a 12lb I’m sure you could ask to be induced or even for an elective section. Are you in the uk? I thought most places in uk were now going for 41 weeks at most and less if baby measuring large! Good luck whatever you decide!

Thank you for your replies 😊
I have been tested an insane amount of times for diabetes and definitely don't have it and have never had it.
I am lucky to be a stay at home mum as my husband earns enough to support us. I don't particularly worry about the logistics of having a 5th, I have room at home and a big car already. I definitely understand the concern of time commitment for each child, it's something I take very seriously already. My girls are amazing and all have all been great babies, they all sleep and eat well and rarely argue (so far 🙈) and they've all been amazing with the newest baby. They are the very best of friends most of the time.
It would maybe be an easier decision if there had been jealousy and issues but we all honestly love being a big family. My eldest is 10 so I'm sure the teenage years will be a different story!
I am overweight so that's definitely something I would need to work on.
I have considered a c section, I only worry about the recovery, with having 4 others to see to and not being able to drive too.
I wonder if I'm able to speak to a consultant before making a decision? It seems crazy to think you actually have to fall pregnant to simply talk to one?

Forgot to say, yes I am in the UK, Oxfordshire xx

@4daughtersin

Thank you for your replies 😊 I have been tested an insane amount of times for diabetes and definitely don't have it and have never had it. I am lucky to be a stay at home mum as my husband earns enough to support us. I don't particularly worry about the logistics of having a 5th, I have room at home and a big car already. I definitely understand the concern of time commitment for each child, it's something I take very seriously already. My girls are amazing and all have all been great babies, they all sleep and eat well and rarely argue (so far 🙈) and they've all been amazing with the newest baby. They are the very best of friends most of the time. It would maybe be an easier decision if there had been jealousy and issues but we all honestly love being a big family. My eldest is 10 so I'm sure the teenage years will be a different story! I am overweight so that's definitely something I would need to work on. I have considered a c section, I only worry about the recovery, with having 4 others to see to and not being able to drive too. I wonder if I'm able to speak to a consultant before making a decision? It seems crazy to think you actually have to fall pregnant to simply talk to one?

You can. Either privately or through an NHS referral. If you go private then it’s probably easiest to go via a fertility clinic - all of them have access to really experienced gaenes and obs.

Request a planned c section.Mine was at 38 weeks and requested for similar reasons after a bad birth experience.

With having 4 children already and having had a PPH during your last labour, I wouldn’t. I’d be more worried about something happening to me. You’re at an increased risk of having PPH again after a previous one. If you do decide to have another I would definitely go down the route of a planned c-section.

Your situation sounds idyllic and I think I'd quit while I were ahead.

Don't underestimate the toll that having 5 teenagers will take - that is a whole new ballgame of neediness and I'm relieved for the first time I stopped at the number I did.