Loneliness when pregnant

[fattycatty82]

I'm just hoping I'm not the only one feeling like this, but I'm now 8 weeks pregnant and feeling really isolated from the outside world. Ive worked from home for a long time now and enjoy my job and while I haven't exactly been overwhelmed by friendships in recent years I was always active and saw people most days whether that was going to my gym, playing sport etc only I have felt so sick and tired lately I've not felt able to do my normal things meaning ive had very little contact with other humans apart from the brief times at work. I'm worried it's only going to get worse as my pregnancy progresses and wondering if I'm in for a lonely time of it really. It's hard to stay positive when you feel so nauseous!! Does anyone or did anyone else feel a bit lonely in pregnancy too? I just literally feel like I have no one to talk to 🤷‍♀️

Totes get you!

Same. I met some women via the Peanut app which was useful.

The first trimester is rubbish. You feel terrible, don't want to eat or drink anything, and feel sick and tired all the time. To top it all off, you're not supposed to tell anyone you're pregnant.
This will pass. I am 14 weeks pregnant now and feel normal again. I started to feel better at about 11 weeks pregnant. Most women feel better once they get into the second trimester.
Maybe tell some people you're pregnant if you haven't already. At least you might have a sympathetic ear and won't feel so lonely.

It is definitely a rubbish time! Ive not wanted to tell people in case something goes wrong but I agree it's added to the feeling of isolation! I'm going to download the Mush app at a later stage and try pregnancy yoga... hoping I can build a bit of a new social circle.... when I can go half an hour without wanting to puke and actually have the energy to leave the house 😭😂 bring on the second trimester 🤞🤞

I'm 13 and a half weeks and still waiting to feel normal So can do pregnancy yoga etc

@SweetBabyCheeses99

Same. I met some women via the Peanut app which was useful.

I was going to suggest the same, made a group of 4 good friends who are all living close by and due around the same time as me which was fab during pregnancy but will be great after the birth too.

Thanks for the tips 🙏 I've downloaded peanut and mush but need to wait a while as not going public just yet... have my parents and employer to tell first 😳 It must be lovely to have a group of women going through the same things around to chat to 😊

It is very hard. I'm 32 weeks pregnant.
I gave birth in 2019 in maternity leave for a year so during lockdown where no one saw anyone. Then back to work was actually WFH so not seen any colleagues and now I'm about to go on maternity for a year again.
So that's 2.5-3 years of very little contact.
My friends seem to have disappeared, never hear from anyone. I only really see my parents, my grandparents and that's it.
Some days go without speaking a word during the working day and then speak to my husband and son in the evening but that's it and it really gets to me.

I am on peanut app but no one talks. I had Ann antenatal teams meeting yesterday and the midwife said to us to stay on the phone whilst she dropped off to give us a chance to talk and maybe swap numbers etc or that we can just end the call. The two other women just ended the call.
It's miserable. I want friends!

I know exactly how you feel, I also work from home and my few close friendships are very split between friends who only go out drinking and those who are busy bringing up their kids.

I used to go out everyday even if it was just to the shop, but i've never had the energy to do that even now at 13 weeks where most of the sickness has now passed. I keep telling myself that winter is a good time to hibernate with a baby bump and i'll emerge in spring along with my little one and the better weather, and hopefully more people will want to get in contact and socialise, but i realise that may be a pipe dream!

I was hoping to meet others and form proper meaningful friendships at antenatal classes or even through this peanut app, but that's no guarantee and i think classes are all still online where i am (Scotland)

@Lauren0902 where about are you? I'm NE Scotland so would be happy to meet you if close.

@JasonMomoasgirlfriend I'm down in Edinburgh so that might be a bit far, but i'm still here for a wee chinwag if needed.

Also I just need to point out that I'm not posh Edinburgh either!

I’m the same. 13 weeks at the moment, I had to give up work at 8 weeks (super dangerous job with large stupid animals, the lease also ran out on the business premises at the same time).
My husband works away most weeks, I’m at home renovating the house which is fine and keeps me busy but socially it’s very isolated.
I wanted to get a little temp job in the run up to Christmas, but the house isn’t fit to put the twins in, I’ve only just got a roof that doesn’t leak and there isn’t any plaster upstairs, so that’s got to be a priority.
I’m trying to see someone socially at least once a week, but it’s hard when everyone’s got their own busy lives. My best friend lives 2 hours away, my sister lives about the same.
I need to make more friends really, I always got most of my social interaction at work and was happy to be on my own in the evenings.
How to you make friends when you’re nearly 38?

Everything is online and so hard to make a connection these days. I'm based in north Essex if anyone else is! I guess we have to just keep trying, be open to friendships and hope the right people will come along 🤷‍♀️ Thanks for your replies x

@bollocksthemess

Making friends past school/college/university has proven to be extremely difficult for me. By friends, I mean deep, secure friendships. I only had my work colleague-turned friend come to my house after almost 2 years of knowing each other - I've been as proactive as I can be - she has a partner and seems to prefer to be insular mainly with him (no children yet).

I'm 30 weeks pregnant solo mother by choice via a sperm donor and really hoping the social side of maternity leave improves. I hope it's not just a pipe dream....

I hear you, OP. I’m 8 weeks too and very, very sick. Very few people know and none of my friends do, as I lost a pregnancy last year and I feel very anxious about telling people right now. So I’m turning down invitations without telling people that I can’t make it because my sickness is so bad and I can’t do any of the ordinary stuff (gym, yoga, popping out to a cafe) that makes me feel like me or brings a bit of fun to the day. It’s really lonely and such an anxious time which exacerbates the loneliness. I just wanted to reassure you that you are not alone in feeling this way - far from it.

@Lauren0902 you mean there's NOT posh Edinburgh?! Nahh lol

I'm in Montrose so maybe a tad too far to be meeting for a coffee which is a shame.

I share your pain. I'm 9 weeks with hyperemesis, haven't been able to get out of bed for a few weeks now and we moved country just before I got pregnant so I don't know anyone at all! This will be DC3 if it works out but the boys are 6 and 8 so at school during the day ---- - long school day here. Going to try out the apps mentioned above though: I don't think they were around last time I was pregnant 6/7 years ago!