Pregnancy Announcement

[Evianontoast]

Hi. I'm doing a little research on the best way to do a pregnancy announcement. Haven't decided whether I want to do one yet (already at 27 weeks) because I have a family member who has recurring miscarriages and I want to make sure I don't upset her (amongst other reasons).

I've read online that you shouldn't post scan photos because for a lot of women who have suffered loss, this reminds them of the time that, in a lot of cases, they found out their bad news. I have also be advised to warn anyone you know who might be upset by a pregnancy announcement in advance that you'll be making it, so they have a chance to avoid it if they want. These are things I'm not sure I would have thought of before doing some research so I'm wondering if anyone else has come across any others? I want to make sure that if we do go ahead, I can at least make sure I've made sure to not do anything which might upset someone who has suffered loss.

Thanks in advance.

Me and Mr Evian are delighted to let you know we'll become a 3 on date whatever. Tbh tho I think all announcements beyond "I'm pregnant" are super cringe

The best one I ever saw was a simple one liner announcing the baby's birth and name. The people who knew them knew anyway as they'd seen them.

To be honest probably I wouldn't social media announce a pregnancy in October.... it's Baby-loss awareness week/month and a lot of social media is focused on that, so it could come across a bit Schadenfreude like...
And if someone close to you has suffered multiple pregnancy losses, give them a heads up before you announce it on social media if they don't know you're pregnant yet.

@Evianontoast
How thoughtful of you to consider your family member, I know how tough it will be for her as I myself have had 4 miscarriages and 1 cp and seeing pregnancy announcements killed me that's why I took myself of fb.

Maybe when your posting it hide it from her news feed, how about just putting a simple happy holloween for 2 of us soon to be 3 if your waiting awhile to announce.

I would suggest telling any close family/friends with recent miscarriages first then a few hours later letting people know but keep it brief, a scan photo is fine but apart from that keep it to facts eg due date if you are sharing it and say how happy you are .

I’ve had losses so we didn’t do an announcement on social media as I know how upsetting it was for us to see these. Even before the traumatic losses I found them a little cringe…

We whatsapped or called people or told them in person.

Later on when I got a bump we did post photos on Instagram and Facebook of us doing various things and so some people found out that way.

We didn’t want to make a song and dance about it though as I remember all too well how horrible it is to see.

I've not had losses but it took us 2 years to conceive and announcements were very upsetting. I do find the ones that acknowledge that it can upsetting for some better. I swore I'd never do one but now I'm actually pregnant I feel like I would like to (but it will be brief and late on!)

I would suggest telling any close family/friends with recent miscarriages first then a few hours later letting people know but keep it brief, a scan photo is fine but apart from that keep it to facts eg due date if you are sharing it and say how happy you are .

This or a version of it. If you are dealing with close friends or family who have suffered a loss who you’d otherwise want to tell, give them a heads up beforehand - “Hi Mary, John and I wanted to let you know that we’re expecting a baby, due April”. Short, factual, to the point unless you’re 100% sure that they’d appreciate more info.

I’m personally not a fan of social media pregnancy announcements, loss or no loss, but there you go.

All the best with your pregnancy.

It's really thoughtful of you - as someone who's had a loss, thank you. Intention is so important, so I'm sure that your family member will appreciate that you're trying to be sensitive.

I would probably hold off on any big announcements until after October, as it's a month in which it's Baby Loss Awareness Week, which can be a particularly sensitive time for people. If you're going to be seeing people in person, though, you might want to tell them in advance, maybe through a private conversation. Loss can be a very private thing, so people you know may have lost a baby without you having known; if someone doesn't respond the way you'd expect, try to give them space and time, as this could be the situation for them. They will be happy for you, they may need some processing time though.

Congratulations and I hope things go well for you and baby!

I agree with others, this is very thoughtful of you to consider others before making your announcement. As someone who has been through the works before finally getting pregnant (miscarriages, multiple failed fertility treatments, 5+y TTC) the sight of a scan photo popping up in a WhatsApp group or an socials was distressing. I'd advise you to gently tell any friends or family that you know are struggling first, and whatever you do don't try and hide the news from them or avoid them because you're pregnant. There's nothing more lonely than infertility and baby loss and being excluded is painful. Congrats on your pregnancy and all the best 😘😘

Congratulations on your pregnancy. You sound lovely. Personally, I wouldn't announce on social media. I'd just send a simple text as pp said previously or just wait until you see people.

I had a miscarriage and I had announced the pregnancy. When I conceived again I didn't tell one friend. I just texted her baby has been born today, called x. She replied you kept that quiet! I explained why but felt crap about it. I just felt embarrassed I think. Go with what feels right for you.

Wow, thank you, everyone, this is exactly why I come to Mumsnet! I had no idea that Baby Loss Awareness Week was in October and that's certainly something to want to be respectful of! I will certainly hold off if we decide to do one... husband isn't sure and we're already so far along it doesn't really seem worth it at this point... might as well just wait until she is here!

Thank you all!

I just told people as I met them and word will filter out. I'm not a fan of big announcements to be honest.

You sound so thoughtful ❤️

Ive had losses and been through IVF so it is hard when you see other people are announcing pregnancies. However the world doesn't stop so it would be strange not to tell people that you are expecting if you normally use social media. Just make sure you tell your family member first.