Do you ever feel 'done'?

[Plantsandwine]

I have two girls who are 1 and 2, and during the newborn days I really thought there was no way I would want to go through this again (sleepless night, reflux baby, crying all the time etc).
However, fast forward a year and I am so broody again. Is this a common feeling or did you know when you were done?
(Just to add, I am incredibly thankful to have my girls, and I know we are so lucky to be blessed with two children already.)

Do you want a third? Is it just missing the baby age or do you really want another child?

I knew when I was pregnant with my second that I was done. That feeling was cemented the second she was born (literally!!) And I've never felt a twinge of wanting a third child since. I was also happy to start getting rid of baby stuff instead of feeling upset or emotional.

I have a 18mo boy and a 4mo girl.
I do know I’m done, so much so DH is getting the snip shortly.

I had hideous pregnancies and aren’t sure I could manage another. Even the midwives suggested I stop at two! I think that’s impacted the way I feel considerably so maybe I wouldn’t feel quite so ‘DONE’ if I had nicer pregnancies.

DH had a vasectomy almost immediately after DC2 was born. We’re very much done. I love babies but hate pregnancy. I’m also looking forward to DCs being a bit bigger (currently 3 and 11mo) so we can do more active and outdoorsy things as a family (we do lots of walks etc. Already but it’ll be more relaxing when we’re not packing nappy bags, and they can ride their own bikes and stuff).

After 3rd I knew I was 💯 done.
Hubby got snip within the year.

I had a horrible pregnancy on my first. She's now 7 and an only child. I knew I could never do it again.

I have 2 step children (who I'm super close to their mum died when they were young) then dh and I have 4 more. After the last one I knew I was done. I had never felt that before. I had a small wobble when the last one started reception but even though my heart was saying one more my head knew that we were definitely done.

I’ve just had my fourth baby. I had 3 with my ex husband and sort of felt done but didn’t give it too much thought.

Then I met my current partner and he had no children. He was amazing with mine and we talked about possibly having a baby together.

Our baby is now 4 weeks old and I know without a shadow of doubt I’m done. So much so that I opted to get sterilised during the c section. My partner is of the same mind and is going to be getting a vasectomy so we can be sure that’s it.

I feel totally different after this baby than I did after my 3 other babies.

I was adamant I was done after my fourth baby I have 2 older dc with a previous partner and 2 small dc with my now partner there is only 15 months between my 2 younger boys I was so adamant I was done but i have recently found out I’m expecting baby number 5 through conceiving on contraception I was so down at the start I really didn’t know what I was going to do but after long discussions we decided to go ahead and I’m now 7weeks very scared but are happy now but I’m so certain I’m done now ive already asked to be sterilised once baby is here

I have 3 - nr 2&3 are twins - I'd love more - I definitely don't feel "done" although I suspect DH does 1 but I think it's different for me as I lost a lot of babies before the twins and also have 2 embryos still frozen which feels like "ones we made earlier " (can't ever get pregnant naturally again as lost both tubes to ectopics) - I don't think I'll ever feel done

After Dd1 I knew I didn't want any more children. I was really young when I had her.
23 years later I was in shock to find out I was 5 months pregnant.
I'm DONE 😆

I had two dc with 2.5 age gap and after having the second I knew I would have another. We were still at the hospital when I told DH we will be having one more and he thought I was mad. Just to make sure I really wanted another baby we waited almost 5 years before deciding to get pregnant. Baby was born when my first was 8 and three months before second turned 6. She is 4 months now and I'm giving away 0-3 months clothes, anything I can get rid of will go.

I always had great pregnancies but not so great births and don't really like the newborn stage. My first had eczema, reflux and allergies. But this pregnancy has been the opposite, tough pregnancy but easier baby. It could also be a case of I'm so used to the newborn stage 😆
Also this might sound mad but before this baby came along I used to feel like there was someone missing at the table and now it just feels complete.

I'm very lucky in that I've had lovely pregnancies which have never affected my decision, I'm due our third baby any day now (she was actually due three days ago!)

We have a 4 year old and a 21 month old already, I definitely think three is our magic number. I can't wait for her to be born so that we can begin the rest of our lives with all three of our children.

I don't know whether we'll feel that 'done' feeling though, although I really hope we do after she's born. Realistically things would be much harder for us with more than three kids.

I have one DD, from a c section that wrecked my mental health. I weighed up the pro’s and con’s for having a only child and decided that we need two, but that’s it.. and not too much of an age gap. So we started trying when she was 1, 7 months later I’m 4 months pregnant now. It’s the last one, I’m excited and I get broody looking at babies now in pregnant.. but before I was pregnant I never felt broody, it just brought back horrible memories of my recovery and complications. I’ll be having my tubes tied if I need another c section.. if they let me as I’m only 25

Had my second baby on Friday, and we had already decided we were done with two. My horrendous forcep delivery cemented the fact I will never have more, I love them more than anything in the world but two consultant led pregnancies filled with anxiety is enough for me

Ok, I am in the newborn bit, although I love it so my reaction might not be the same! But definitely feel done. I have three children, the last pregnancy was the hardest and I was pretty fed up for the last three months. I have no desire to give birth for a fourth time.

I have a big gap between DC 1 and 2 so I have a newborn and toddler together now. It's hard! There are lovely moments and honestly I adore the newborn stage and feel very lucky to have be able to experience it three times. But I don't particularly want to go through this newborn and toddler stage again. Neither would I want to do it with a 5/6 year old around as well. I don't hate it but it's not something I especially want to repeat.

Three feels quite overwhelming at times. Two was ok, but with three it seems like one or two of them always need something, which is fine, but it's a lot! I couldn't imagine adding another one into this mix. So I don't want any more.

I also want to do something in terms of a career. I had DS1 when I was 20 so I hadn't got started. I've only ever worked part time since he was born. I'm enjoying this phase of my life now with the children, but I do want it to move on at some point to give me chance to do something else. I don't have any desire to be in child wrangling land forever more.

That's how I feel done. Even though it feels final to get rid of maternity clothing etc. The little clothes I really don't want to pass on, that just in case... But I am done. I don't want to start again after this time. I think it makes it more special knowing it's the last time too.

I have 3 DC and I’m so broody. Youngest is 2, eldest is 8.
I think every single day about having another, about the moment you meet baby, about feeling them kick when you’re pregnant.

I definitely don’t feel done.

I’m in the same boat as you and want another, I’m hoping I feel done then but I have a feeling I won’t 😂 I just love everything about kids and see myself with four. I always did funny enough!

Oh thank you for all your replies, I guess most people know when they don't want anymore!! I just can't imagine never having a little newborn again. I am hoping that I will feel done if I am lucky enough to have three!

@LauEli

Had my second baby on Friday, and we had already decided we were done with two. My horrendous forcep delivery cemented the fact I will never have more, I love them more than anything in the world but two consultant led pregnancies filled with anxiety is enough for me

Congratulations!! I hope you have a good recovery 🌼

@CaptainSpirit

I'm very lucky in that I've had lovely pregnancies which have never affected my decision, I'm due our third baby any day now (she was actually due three days ago!)

We have a 4 year old and a 21 month old already, I definitely think three is our magic number. I can't wait for her to be born so that we can begin the rest of our lives with all three of our children.

I don't know whether we'll feel that 'done' feeling though, although I really hope we do after she's born. Realistically things would be much harder for us with more than three kids.

Ahh how exciting!! Congratulations! I think we would have a similar gap to you if we were to have a third... is your eldest at school now? Will you send your 21 month old to nursery at all or will he/she be at home with you all the time?

I was extremely lucky in that after our first I was terribly broody, had our second, then just like a baby wanting switch had been turned off, zero broody feelings for either myself or my husband.
I did however have a peri menopause dream that I had a third pregnancy which was like one of those TV shows where the woman does not know she's pregnant until she gives birth. It disturbed me quite significantly my children were 12 & 14 by this point. I knew I was done, I didn't want more kids, but it was very powerful and made me question myself and my husband's decision. I'm pretty sure it was my biological clock telling me this is your very last chance. I did not act upon it, I did know I was done, but seeing a third albeit surprise in my dream was so real and so disturbing. I was quite confused for a couple of days. Very glad I didn't have another.

I have 3 but really wanted more desperately. So so
Broody. DH didn’t want any more so that was it really. Dont know if I’d have ever felt like I was done. A few years down the line I’m grateful I stopped. It gets much harder in many ways and so much more expensive, juggling all the school stuff, secondary schools, clubs, where they need to be and their needs. When they are all little the expectations are so much lower. You can all do the same things and they are all happy with smaller things.
The broodyness passes around age 4 or 5 I found

I felt done after 2 but my husband and I have always agreed we wanted 2 so I suppose I managed to suppress any broodiness pretty well. I do think it’s totally normal to feel broody for more.
Listen to your head not your heart though! I just simply wouldn’t be able to give three children the right amount of attention but that’s just me.

@Plantsandwine Thank you!! Yes my eldest DD started reception last month, and I'm a SAHM so my toddler stays home with me.

I'm looking forward to the age gap between the two youngest though I'm not sure how the toddler is going to take it - she hasn't got a clue what's going on. 🙈

I knew during my third pregnancy that I was done. Just knew I couldn't go through it all another time. DH was very much of the same mind and got the snip just before DS3's first birthday.