Midwife booking - TW loss

[czycoup]

Hey,

I've found myself pregnant again after having 3 losses this year.

Do I need to self refer to the midwives straight away or can I wait a bit longer....say 10 weeks until I can get a private scan and I will know this is a viable pregnancy.

2 losses happened after the booking appointment and tbh I'm dreading going through it all again. I still have my notes from last time so maybe they can just use those?

My doctor said she will refer me for an early scan at 8 weeks but I'm worried about telling them I'm pregnant as they told me to wait until I had a period following the last MC and also until I been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic. Neither of those have happened despite my MC being 4 months ago. For various reasons we didn't follow that advice - but I'm not going to be in trouble am I?

I think doctors often advise waiting until you’ve had a period after a miscarriage, as it makes it easier to date the pregnancy, and doesn’t give false positive tests purely due to long lasting hormones.

You will not be in trouble AT ALL for getting pregnant again. You don’t have to worry. I would tell your doctor, and take the early 8 week scan. You could even book a private early 7 week scan yourself, if you don’t want to involve your doctor yet.

The only issue with making yourself known to doctors etc too late, is that you might struggle to get a 12 week scan in time, if the next pregnancy is viable.

I hope everything works out for you.

Thank you. They did say the reason for waiting for a period is to do with dating the pregnancy, but I have PCOS so even if I did wait for a period and got pregnant after the dates wouldn't match up. For example, the last pregnancy "12 week" scan going by last period I was actually only 5 weeks. They don't tend to listen when I say I tracked ovulation closely so I know my dates. So that's one of the reasons we didn't bother waiting - I hope they understand.

You're not going to be in trouble. Your care is their priority - they have a duty of care to you and your current pregnancy. Don't panic. Let them know and go for the 8 week scan.
Good luck and congratulations x

Like you I've had 3 losses in 9 months and fell pregnant for the 5th time.
I contacted my midwife ASAP as its best to be under their care just incase something goes wrong as its easier to access help quickly if they know you are pregnant.
They also can't use the notes from your last pregnancy as details will be different including number of pregnancies, due date and the fact that you've had recurrent loss.
I'd take the early scan but I'd also contact the midwives.
My fifth and final pregnancy ended in a wonderful baby boy and I sincerely hope you get to keep this one. (Hugs)

Thank you @girlmom21 I just feel as soon as we start telling people and making arrangements it's going to jinx it and cause another loss.

I'm only 9/10DPO so i'll at least wait another week or so.

Oh my lovely, congratulations and I hope this one works out. I fell pregnant after MC with no period and no one batted an eyelid. Was dated from first scan I think (was a long time ago now). You absolutely haven't done anything wrong. Getting pregnant is a huge drive that isn't logical.

I would ask the GP if there's any standard low risk treatment thru could give you more because of your past history of recurring MC. God luck.

@czycoup

Thank you *@girlmom21* I just feel as soon as we start telling people and making arrangements it's going to jinx it and cause another loss.

I'm only 9/10DPO so i'll at least wait another week or so.

You can't jinx it. It doesn't work like that. I know it's impossibly hard to deal with one loss so 3 must be so difficult but try and not worry about jinxing anything.

Talking to a doctor is different to talking to a friend for example too.
I'd rather a hospital sonographer confirm a pregnancy is viable for me too rather than a private sonographer.

It's obviously completely up to you how you want to go about things but I don't think having the medical professionals on board can be a bad thing x

With my last pregnancy I had a couple of early scans at the hospital due to 3 previous losses (6, 8 and 10 weeks). After the 8 week scan they offered to do the midwife referral for me.
They said if I waited until after 10 week scan I wouldn't get a midwife appointment in before I was 12 weeks, and you couldn't be booked for your 12 week scan until you had seen the midwife for your booking appointment.
I completely get wanting to wait but I wouldn't leave it that week before contacting a midwife.
Good luck x

Hi hun I totally know how you feel, I had a loss last year, and 3 already this year (jan. April & June) and now I’m 12 weeks! I was really reluctant to get a booking in apt as I was also worried about jinxing it! But I’m glad I did as maternity services seem to be super busy at the moment. Also due to all my losses and another uterus issue, I am going to be consultant led, so I’m glad I got referred early as it seems consultant appointments are hard to get in my area!

You could also register with your midwifes and if they send your booking apt for before 8 weeks, phone them and explain, then rebook for after your 8 week scan?

If you want to chat, feel free to drop me a message x

Hey hun, this happened to me. I had 3 MC and fell pregnant for a 4th time, I ended up phoning the midwife but asking for the booking app to be after my early scan. Everything was absolutely fine and DS is now 4 and I did absolutely nothing different that time around 🤷‍♀️ sending you lots of love, the worry after loss is tough ❤