First time mum 30 weeks

[Lozzle15]

Does anyone feel alone in there pregnancy? You do everything for your partner even if it's way to much for you to handle right now but you feel they don't support you or be attentive to you an your unborn child. Sometimes I think I would be better off alone because no he is in a phase of wanting to drink an go out all the time an pass me off to someone else to take me to appointments. I have never felt so alone an I feel guilty for having a baby an thinking I can't give him the family life he deserve. I moved my whole life for this person and lost alot of people including myself to be with him but everyone else seems to come first for him an I'm not even making the list. He makes everything my fault but all I have ever asked for is love an support which I think should come naturally.

Op you really need to decide what to do with this relationship...doesnt sound like a good one... he will never change... even after you have the baby he will be the same.. i dont want you regretting it staying with him later on... cause i do. And always wish i left him from my first pg. Cause he never helps never cares, just about his own needs. Am now pg second time he absolutely doesnt care to help. And is harder now to leave, cause he plays the card with the kid. That he won't leave it with me etc. YET he doesnt bother looking after it when he's home. But if u ask him he does absolutely everything here.
I have found my happy place, I'm happy for my kid and the future one, that is my life, but theres no love here in this relationship.
I think..if you think you'd be better off alone, then maybe do it. There are other men out there. Out idiots will never change

I'm really sorry but this sounds like a spectacularly unhealthy relationship. I would seek some support urgently to build your self esteem and confidence, help you work out what you want from a relationship and then work with your partner to see if you can achieve that. No people don't 'do everything for their partner' or move their whole life for them, and you should have more than just love and support (respect comes to mind). I think you need to reframe your expectations and work from there.

I agree with pp. This isn't a good relationship. You have ten weeks (ish) before the baby is here. It's easier to leave before than after birth. I know you said you have uprooted your life for him but do you have anyone that you can rely on for support or advocacy? Please speak to your midwife or health visitor if you can. Is there any option to going back to your hometown or family even just for a few weeks to make a plan?

You should never be doing everything in a relationship or bending over backwards for someone. It sets unrealistic expectations and makes it easy for you to be taken advantage of. Do not be a martyr. A good relationship should be about give and take and teamwork.

Anyway, there's no need to feel guilty, you are realising that you deserve better than the way he is treating you and that's great. You should prioritise yourself and your baby above everyone else. Good luck

Have you told him how you feel ?

Some men are just clueless

This is very hard for you OP , perhaps explain to him in simple terms what and how you are feeling and explain you need more support and that he needs to step up it's no longer about him it is about the baby and if that doesn't work then you need to make some decisions and do what is best for you and your child.

Have a chat with your midwife and or doctor aswel and have you joined antenatal classes ?