I want another baby!

[evansmummy]

Wasn't really sure where to post this, nor why, but I just need to tell someone about all this! It's weighing me down!!

Ds will be 3 in a week and we've been holding off on having a 2nd mainly for financial reasons. Tbh the finances aren't any better except that we're finally off benefits as I've just gone back to work. But I am desperate now to have another baby. Seeveral close friends have recently had seconds and I am so broody it sometimes makes me to cry to have to give them their babies back.

But the problem is that I don't sense that dh is too keen. Plus I've only been back at work for 3 months. Plus we live in a tiny flat and can't afford anything else. Plus we aren't earngin a lot so basically have enough to live as we are but not sure about the strain of an extra person on that financial situation. Plus I hated being pregnant first time round. And finally I'm so worried that my already difficult three year old would just tip me over the edge with a newborn.

Sorry for blurbing all that. Jus want some positive input, I guess.

Few people can really afford more babies. Or to put it another way, if people waited until they could afford a child they would be waiting a long time.

Money is, and always will be an issue for most of us - whether 1 baby or 5.

You really sound like you want another, and that feeling is so hard to ignore. Sounds like you and dh need a chat! Men rarely appear keen on having babies IME but may be happy when you chat about it?

I hope you get your wish.

Right, so you want a baby and things are tough.

I'm in an ideal situation, money is not an issue, DD is 13 months, room enough, and yet I still have reservations (and I'm pregnant btw) but the point is - YOU COPE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE TO.

Have you asked your DH what he thinks? Your second pregnancy might be much easier (and you'd have maternity leave don't forget.) Plus, if you start trying now it might take a year yet so you have time to work out the finer details.

If it's what you truly want you will find a way!

If everybody waiting until it was a good time to have a baby, the human race would die out!
Sometimes you should just do what you want and deal with the problems later.

i agree that you find a way to cope, whether financially or otherwise. I also agree that many men arent fussed either way. My dp is the same, i dont think he would have been bothered if hadnt had 2nd, but we did. As long as not totally against it. Im gonna try for a third next yr, although i wonder how we will manage financially, but i am definitely doing it! To be fair, kids dont have to cost a lot. You can get lovely cheap clothes from Asda etc and the food bill doesnt necessarily have o be loads apart from if you buy disposable nappies.

If you have got it in your head, then thats it!

DP an i put off trying for ages because of financial reasons. In the end it was my nan who convinced up by saying "that if you wait until you've got money, you could be waiting for longer than you think".

I'm so thankful for all these messages and you guys have really helped put things into a more reasonable perspective. I guess we were even worse off when I fell pregnant first time round and it didn't put us off then. And is it hormonal - that feeling of wanting another baby just soooooo much ?

Yes I think it is hormonal. When we moved form the Uk to here 2 years ago my boys were 3 and 5 and I sold all the baby stuff because I didn't want any more. Then a few months ago I started to get sooo broody, I'm now 14 weeks pregnant, boys are aged 5 and 7, and I'm 38!

i want another baby soooo much it's like a physical ache . . . . but we will not be having anymore as dp is determined he doesn't want anymore

I know how you feel, I went quite crazy at the beginning of the year, crying everyday I was so broody, realised just how powerful the female reproductive system is, taking me over completely. My DH needs to get a less stressful job before we can really consider it, he really doesn't need a new baby yet.
I would suggest agreeing to discuss it again at 6m intervals, will help you get through the year. Plus you might think about the benefits of him being at school fulltime before you pop another one out. Then you'd be able to really enjoy it more, be a first time mum again but with all that experience.

its a definite real physical ache. MY DS2 is only almost 11 wks and im adamant i will definitely have another. Its so funny cos this time last yr i was planning number 2 and i was adamant that would be the last(lots of people said oh, i bet you will have another after this and i was no way). i know i wont change my mind. i cant wait till next yr to try!if i thought my baby days were over id be gutted. Like i said before once the idea is in your heAD THATS it!!

Im the same with anything, if i have a vague idea about something, eventually it takes over my mind!