Maternity Leave - Switching off from work

[glow92]

Bit of background, I'm due to finish in a few weeks in a job that I've been full time for 5 years in. We're a small company but handle much more work than we should (civil engineering) and we're all very much responsible for our own thing (I handle all the commercial and billing from £1k jobs to £2m).

It's a MESS, everything gets done but our systems are so poor you really need to know what you're looking for.
I know exactly what I'm doing at any one time but trying to explain this to someone new has been an absolute nightmare, I know they'll take their own approach - which is fine - but there's so much I can see either being missed or me being blamed for once I'm absent. I should also add I'm the only female in a team of male managers.

How do you get in the mind-frame of knowing it's not your problem?

In my experience your so busy looking after baby when they arrive that you don't have time to worry about work. I thought I would have a similar issue but it's strange how quickly you switch off from work as your concentrating on the baby!

The baby will arrive and you will forget all about it. You'll have other things on your mind.?

How much time have you got before baby arrives OP?

Once you have the baby you’ll switch off

I have approx 3.5 weeks at home before baby is due, however my replacement is now off on the first week so I may do an extra week/few days - which will be my choice! If I feel up to it, bit of a long day and 40min drive each way.

Ok, so if you do choose to do that, take your Maternity Notes with you, I had my first at 38 plus 1.

Other things that you could do to take your mind off things, apart from eating abs sleeping, is finding out where your local playgroups are abs going to them, finding out where your local BFing Support Groups are and going to them. Meet up with friends for a coffee or read a book or two.

Have a baking day, do some batch cooking for when baby arrives or simply potter around.

I'm sure you don't need to go to work though, does anyone cover the job when you are usually on annual leave?

@glow92 I had this fear but can honestly say day one of my maternity leave was bliss. I turned off my phone, packed up my laptop and dismantled my work station and work is now a distant memory.

I was amazed how quickly I switched off. I had plenty to keep me busy and I had 3 weeks to myself before baby arrived. I did a lot of batch cooking and baking. Gave the house a really good clean as I knew that wasn't going to happen again for a while. Looked into nurseries and baby groups while I had the time. Met friends. Did things like haircuts etc so I knew they were done for a while.

I didn't have a particularly smooth return to work after maternity leave. The biggest lesson I learned was that you are entirely replaceable at work. Has completely changed my mindset to work life balance and I'm much better for it. Enjoy your baby.

I worried about this too. Honestly, once your baby arrives it won't be a big issue. I still think about work a bit and chat with colleagues but have quickly got into the mindset of it not being my problem currently, which I'm very glad of as with a newborn I wouldn't have the time or the headspace! I worked until a week before my due date and did manage to switch off then as well mostly. Personally I'd have found 3.5 weeks a bit long I think, so continuing to pick up a few bits of work might not be a bad thing but it's very individual.

I've just been through something similar - handover of 3 weeks to the new person and it was exhausting and time consuming explaining every aspect of my job and the systems etc to her whilst trying to keep on top of actual work. What I will say is by the end of the 3 weeks I felt better about where she was and happy just to let her get on.

At the end of the day, everyone has to learn the job for themselves, everyone will have their own take/style and they can always do the 'I've just taken this over but let me look into that and get right back to you' type lines for a while.

From your perspective once the baby comes you don't think about work. You really don't.

This is my 3rd baby and 3rd mat leave and it's always the same. Stressed beforehand finishing up and then blissful

Having a haircut is a good tip Bobble. I also had a pedicure because I didn't want to look at my crumby feet whilst giving birth

I started my maternity leave in a lockdown so didn’t have the luxury of being able to go and do all the things people say to do, and also sat at home dwelling on work!

It’s hard but honestly things switch so quickly when the baby arrives. I care about work now but not to the same extent, my time with DS is much more important so it’s helped create more of a work life balance for me.

I too am worried about going on mat leave and not being able to switch off.
Whenever I have time away from work, someone will be in touch asking how to do something, where something is or if I know something.
I dont normally mind because it makes me feel that I am valuable to the role.
But being on mat leave and handing everything over feels weird!

So far I have written very comprehensive 'how to do' notes for my replacement. While she understands, I feel she isnt taking everything as seriously as she should and I bet by a few weeks in something will go wrong (shes a lovely girl but this is a very big jump into management for her).

So far ive started writing myself a list of things I want to get done before baby arrives and this will be my focus during the first stage of mat leave befote baby arrives.
Hopefully once baby is here Ill be so busy I wont worry about the job as much as I am now!

You need to make it clear to your employer in advance that you do not wish to be contacted. If you have a work phone then leave it switched off in a drawer (at work ideally). When you put your out of office on emails, be explicit that you’ll not be checking them and who they need to contact. If you have access to work emails from home or personal device then do your best to deactivate this, leave laptop at work etc. If work have your personal phone number and/or email then be explicit in advance about how often and for what reason you expect to be contacted. My employers actually have a form you fill in with options like never/weekly newsletter updates/internal vacancies etc. If they attempt to contact you then be assertive from the outset that you are on maternity leave. Will you have any keeping in touch days? You could always schedule these in advance e.g first Tuesday of the month starting from April for example. That way your colleagues know that they had a day when they can ask what they need from you. Otherwise they will just need to grow up and sort everything out themselves, not your problem!

Thank you for all your replies, really interesting!
It was asked somewhere above and no, if one of us is ever on leave there's no proper cover and it's a case of just having catch up on return.
So this is the first time I've really had to hand things over and explain the chaos.

It was asked somewhere above and no, if one of us is ever on leave there's no proper cover and it's a case of just having catch up on return.

So why do you need to cover your replacement's leave?

I think you need to do as suggested above, make it clear that you want job adverts and monthly updates, otherwise it the phone is off.

I worried about this too, a lot. I have a fairly intense, long-hours job with lots of responsibilities including managing a small team. My replacement hadn’t even started yet when I went on leave.

I made it clear I didn’t want to be contacted. I came off all the work Whatsapp groups (including social ones). And forgot about it! And it was FINE. I stopped worrying literally immediately and barely thought about work until I got to maybe 9 months off.

And it turns out…they coped a lot better than I thought without me. Just about to go on my next leave and this time just looking forward to it!