Pregnant/scared/confused

[Lemonadee]

Hi all,
I just wanted to post to talk to someone who's maybe had similar experiences and I'm wondering whether I feel is normal, will it change later during the pregnancy etc?

I have just found out I am 5 maybe 6 weeks pregnant. I haven't told anyone yet other than OH, with it being so early and I don't know how I feel about it. Me and OH havent really been together very long. Obviously covid has probably stunted our relationship but we don't currently live together although had talked about it in the near future.

I told OH and feel he doesn't really want me to go ahead with the pregnancy as the timing isn't right. I'm worried if I keep the baby then it will drive a wedge between us if his heart isn't in it. I'm not 100% sure how I feel about it, I don't know if some of this is because he doesn't seem excited, and I'm also frightened of what to expect, what I'm going to go through, worried if it did put too much pressure on the relationship I don't think I'd cope as a single parent, and worried because the timing isn't great at all.

I've always thought if I got pregnant I wouldn't ever consider abortion, I think it would have a very negative impact on my mental health - I don't disagree with abortion just not for myself (although it's not as black and white as that I know)

Anyway I don't know if these fearsare normal, or am I just hormonal and tired? I feel so awful posting this because I have seen so many posters hoping they're pregnant and now I am I feel so lost. Thankyou for reading and I hope someone can offer some advice

I can’t offer advice, but my in my experience if you weren’t actively trying to get pregnant, it’s all just such a shock and it’s terrifying.

I found out at 5 weeks, and panicked. I had an appointment for a termination (2 week wait) and by the time the appointment came around, my mindset had shifted completely, and I knew I wanted to keep the baby.

I am 14 weeks now, and still terrified about whether it’s the right thing, but I am also starting to get excited about the idea of a baby.

I am confident that we’ve made the right decision now, but I totally understand the difficulty and uncertainty at the beginning when you’re in shock.

The only thing I’d say is don’t rush into anything. I’m so glad there was a 2 week wait or I would have made the wrong decision. The more you sit with an idea, and think about ALL of your options, the more chance you have of coming to the best conclusion.

Good luck whatever you choose.

Can you look for some professional pregnancy specific counselling to help you unpick how you feel about this? Even planned pregnancies invoke lots of different and strong emotions, there is no shame in needing some help to get your head around the situation and help you decide what you want to do next.

And I absolutely do not mean that an abortion might be the wrong choice for you. It might be, but it might be the right choice too.

I think it’s hard to be excited about something that is such a punch in the guts, and you both need time to sit with the idea and see how you feel. I remember feeling awful about reading threads of people desperate for babies, but everyone has to do what’s right for them, not feel guilt on other peoples behalf

Thank you both for sharing your advice and experiences. I think we do need to take some time to let it sink in. I think in my panic/shocked state I was also thinking... The longer I leave it the worse it would be... Felt like I needed to make a quick decision. Thank you I'll leave it a week to think on it and also look into the counseling options

The time limit I set for myself was 10 weeks, as up to that point the termination is pills rather than medical intervention. But you have time to get used to the idea and start thinking clearly after the fog clears.

I hope you find peace with whatever the outcome. Feel free to come back and vent here too!

Thankyou for your advice @AudTheDeepMinded and @Derbee I have decided that I am going to go ahead with the pregnancy. Absolutely terrified but it felt the right option for us, I think we both needed to take some time to get our heads around the idea and the initial shock to wear off.