Pregnancy hormones and depression

[Timeandtidal]

I'm 25 weeks pregnant and have been really struggling in pregnancy with severe anxiety, and more recently low mood. Last few days have been crying a lot. I don't know if it is just normal pregnancy hormones increasing emotions but I'm feeling really down at the moment. I'm starting to get scared I will be like this when the baby comes. I am happy I'm pregnant and know I am lucky but I feel so low and lonely. I know I can tell midwife but I don't want to take antidepressants in pregnancy and I already referred myself to NHS IAPT waiting list.
Just wondered if anyone has been here and has any positive stories about it getting better.

So sorry to hear you're struggling, I'm 28 weeks and am doing better now but really struggled with anxiety earlier on - to the extent that I have been mainly lurking not posting up till now!

Definitely worth speaking to your midwife - she can do blood tests to check for anaemia etc which might be affecting your mood but also refer you to the maternity mental health team which is likely to be loads quicker than IAPT. Bear in mind the service exists because lots of women struggle while pregnant, it's not just you.

Do you have much support from partner/family/friends? Make sure you aren't putting too brave a face on it, ask for support x

Thanks for your reply @zebra80
I'm sorry you've also been having a hard time with anxiety. Did you do something or did it just end up lifting by itself?

I have a small support network but not that many friends near by where I am. Don't really have a hugely supportive family but my partner is very kind. I feel like I'm overly dependent on him for emotional support and worried I'm draining. Just wish I could relax and feel more positive.
I don't really know how to ask for help... not sure how to say it.

Ante-natal depression is a real thing - and can be a huge problem for some. I think you should talk to your midwife.

@Mischance This definitely feels like more than just a bit down. Lots of long periods of crying and feeling very bad about myself. It is a bit scary. I feel out of control of my emotionans. I guess I am a bit scared to tell midwife because it will feel worse if she can't help and I don't really see what she can do. I might feel better for sharing it I guess

@Timeandtidal I've had anxiety on and off through my life so just my usual coping strategies (actually I think it was worse early on because I usually use exercise to manage it, and I was too sick/fatigued to do much), plus talking to people a lot - a professional as well as friends. I think on reflection it helps to have been through it before because I've had experience of coming out the other side of it, so I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel. And now I'm far enough along that I feel more confident that there will be a baby at the end of this, that has helped massively.

It really does sound like you may have antenatal depression as @Mischance said - in which case feeling like there's no point asking for help is actually a symptom of the problem in itself, depression is sneaky like that. Honestly, your midwife will have supported women through this before and there are services that are set up to support you with exactly this problem. They can advise on which antidepressants are safe to take but even if you don't want medication they can help with talking therapies and helping you manage things. When asking for support from the professionals or friends you don't have to go into great detail, just say 'I'm struggling mentally/emotionally just now and need some support' and let the conversation flow from there. Maybe start with being more open with your partner if he's kind and supportive, and he can support you in asking for professional help?

Hi, I understand how you feel. During both of my pregnancies I felt very low after the 20 week mark and cried at everything (I couldn't bring myself to have conversations with anyone as I started to cry). I isolated myself from friends and family. Like you, I also contacted IAPT and had CBT therapy which helped. You should be in their risk category as you are pregnant so should be seen quicker, though with covid it may be over the phone.

I just wanted to say that you aren't alone, the annoying thing is people talk about postnatal depression so much more than antenatal so it's hard to find out what to expect.

In my experience I found that once my children were born I went back to being me again. I feel positive most days i.e a normal range of emotions! Pregnancy really takes its toll mentally.

Take care OP x

I’m feeing the same way OP! 22+3 and have been really hit hard with long bouts of crying and anxiety. I’ve also reached out to IAPT and have already received my first session of CBT - it took 2 weeks from self referral to getting that first appointment. The therapist was wonderful and said these emotions are completely normal in pregnancy - I hope you find some reassurance in that too.

When did you self refer yourself to IAPT? I hope you hear something soon. As a PP said, you will be a priority to see someone. In the meantime, I hope you’re being kind to yourself and listening to your body

@zebra80 thanks. It helps to have a way to verbalise it. I will talk to my midwife next week. I've told one friend I'm feeling low and she was supportive. My partner has been suggesting I go to GP for weeks but I just thought I would feel better at some point.

Yes @Glitterazzi It is so hard not to give into the urge to shut myself off from everyone because being on my own feels safer but then it ends up with me feeling too isolated and I convinced myself noone wants to know me. Such a negative pattern. I am glad you felt better after your baby was born. I had no idea pregnancy would be this mentally hard.

@desperateforcoffee Thanks for sharing. Sorry you're struggling too. I self referred a week or so ago. Are you finding the CBT good? I am scared of feeling worse because I might fail at talking therapy too. I know this is irrational really. Just so down on myself. Hopefully this.is the lowest bit.

I think your partner is right that you should go to GP and discuss this. They can help.

Please keep an open mind on medication - there are those that are useful in pregnancy.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

@Timeandtidal Hopefully you’ll get a call back soon from the IAPT service! I found them to be very quick at replying but it depends on the area.

I’ve actually done a course of CBT before this and it was a huge success (it wasn’t through IAPT but privately funded)! The first session of this round was kind of a goal setting session - just understanding where I’m at and what I’d like to achieve to help cope with my emotions. What’s good is that they tailor the therapy around you - so if something doesn’t work, they’ll try something else

Your fear of failing sounds like it’s influenced by your low mood - as a PP said, keep an open mind with different routes. I really hope you get the help you need very soon xx