Pregnancy after miscarriages

[Wishingonastaragain]

Hi,

Just the above really. Finding myself anxious all of the time. Had a scan last week which was reassuring but over the past few days finding myself anxious all over again, so likely to book another one in the next few days.

Anyone in the same boat? Xx

Hi,

I’m in the same boat. Currently 9+5, I had a scan 3 weeks ago at 6 + 3 and was planning to get one this weekend again but we’ve now both tested positive for Covid 😭😭 so anxious and constantly overthinking everything. By the time we are both out of isolation I’ll be 10+ 6, and my 12 week scan is only 10 days later but I still think we will pay for another one.

If a scan will help you I’d say do it. Xx

I'm pregnant after two miscarriages and currently in second trimester & the reality is: the anxiety never goes 😢

Hi! I had 2 mcs in the first trimester and im now 37 weeks. I’d say it gets easier once baby movements become more regular, but it doesn’t take much to send me into a spiral. I’ve had a few instances of going in for reduced movement and both times I was sobbing my heart out convinced it was all going wrong but it was fine.

Friends I know with kids or are pregnant and have never had a mc just seem to be/were excited and assumed everything would be fine.

Having a mc definitely changes you, when you have lived through those traumatic times. But you’ll get through it xx

@CMcA21 I am just over nine weeks too and now trying to see if I can book a scan for tomorrow! I know it should be all exciting right now, but that's kind of completely taken away from you once you experience miscarriages.
Sorry to hear you both have COViD- hope you're both doing ok. Rest plenty!

@haidri I can imagine. Once you get past one hurdle, you are then worrying about the next. But amazing you have got to the second trimester :)

@Cafeaulait27 I have had two first trimester MCs also. It's just such a horrible and anxious time waiting to get past the first trimester isn't it! I know it should be all happy and exciting but it's just constant fear and worry. You are doing amazing and you are almost there!
I know exactly what you mean- it really does change you and unless someone has been through it they will never quite get it.

Thank ladies for your replies. Feel a bit better knowing I'm not the only one driving myself crazy! I am keeping my fingers crossed for us all xx

@Wishingonastaragain so sorry to hear you're anxious🥺 but totally relate.

I've had 4 miscarriages in the space of 12 months. End of august found out I was pregnant again, I am now 8 weeks 5 days. I am under fertility care so I had a scan at 7 weeks, but they dated me 6 weeks 1 day. Which was normal they said, heartbeat was found straight away. All perfect. They said they'd scan me again in 2 weeks, but I booked a private scan inbetween that wait, and again all was perfect and I was 3 days ahead this time. I was meant to have my fertility scan yesterday, but they rang an hour before my appointment to cancel and they couldn't fit me in till next week, so you can understand I prepared myself to go to the scan, and I was excited/nervous all in one. I did get anxious yesterday and I was all day, even this morning knowing I have another 4 days wait. Which sounds short but is an eternity in my eyes.

Everything you're feeling is normal and I feel it's a blessing we have private scan places and if you can go for your own piece of mind for your own reassurance then I'm all for it. Some places are expensive, some are more reasonable on their prices. But you aren't alone feeling like this. Sending you all the love x

@MissH995 I'm so sorry to hear that.

Congratulations on your current pregnancy. I know early days, but seems promising so far :). That is horrible- you really do have to mentally prepare for the scans and anxiety goes through the roof in the lead up. Completely understand how it may seem such a short time frame for most people, but in our situations it feels like the day will never come. And all possible scenarios race through your mind.

So grateful we can just book a scan and go. I don't know how I would have waited another few weeks. People tell you to relax, but it's impossible.

I am keeping everything crossed for you- let me know how you get on xx

Congratulations!!

I had 2 quite late first trimester miscarriages last year and I'm now 34 weeks. The first trimester is TOUGH! I managed to survive by having therapy throughout my pregnancy but appreciate this isn't available to everyone. Some coping mechanisms:

Meditation/relaxation using the Headspace app
Writing down worries
Do not Google stuff!!
Planning fun things to look forward to (getting hair and nails done, seeing friends etc)
I had scans at 6, 8 & 10 weeks
Buy the book Pregnancy After Loss by Zoe Clark Coates

I saw a consultant for my miscarriages who did my early scans and he said having a normal scan at 10 weeks is as good as the 12 week scan if that helps your anxiety a bit. I did harmony testing with him which is expensive but meant when I had my 12 week scan I already knew I was low risk and didn't then have the stress of waiting for the combined screening results.

After the 12 week scan I felt a little better, then once I felt baby moving around 16/18 weeks that helped, and then getting past the 20 week scan gave me a lot of confidence but I chose not to share my pregnancy with anyone until 25 weeks as it felt like a way to protect myself. I have had my wobbly days but they have been fewer as time has passed. If it helps, the second half of pregnancy has absolutely flown by for me!

I don't think it's right to say the anxiety never goes but you have to do everything you can to fight it because otherwise its going to be a long 9 months (or 7 months now), and you'll then worry about labour and worry when the baby is here and it's a never ending cycle. Have a look at CBT strategies for anxiety and speak to your midwife to see if you can be referred to talk to someone.

You are almost at the end of the first trimester and you're doing absolutely amazing. Be kind to yourself, keep busy and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you and everyone else on this thread feeling the same xxx

@Knock123 thank you- congratulations to you too :).

Thank you so much for your kind message and your amazing advice- I will look into this book.

I know each trimester will bring new challenges and anxieties, but getting through the first seems like the biggest hurdle right now.

I will do, thank you- have two booking appt soon so will speak to them about it then.

Thank you- keeping everything crossed for you too xx

@Wishingonastaragain
The first trimester is definitely the worst but you're almost at the end of it! You're doing amazing. I hope you've managed to book another scan for reassurance and please try to take comfort in the fact you are not alone, so many of us are there with you, holding your hand.
Try to seek out positive stories of women having normal pregnancies after multiple miscarriages, that's what always kept me going. It will get easier I promise xx

@Knock123 thank you!

Yes- had a scan over the weekend and all looking good. Hopefully things continue this way. Thank you so much for your kind words :).

Hope you're doing well- you're almost there :). So exciting xx