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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Sex in pregnancy

16 replies

shheueuwgwuwge · 21/09/2021 12:26

Bit of advice needed. I feel more in the mood (having sex dreams and in general) but physically it doesn’t match, I’m wiped and I had a really bad 1st trimester!

We do have sex and we both enjoy it but my partner has expressed he doesn’t want to pressure me or ask as he knows I’ve suffered with physical symptoms.

I love his consideration but as I don’t feel sexy at all (I feel like an ugly fat lump!!) I’d love him to suggest more

When we were TTC (6 months) we ended up falling into a bit of a routine with sex and I want that gone, I do want some spontaneity but I feel like I can’t guarantee I’ll be up for it - how sad does that sound!

How did you manage sex in pregnancy? We’re still having it and it’s still good, he’s expressed he’s more than happy with our sex life. I guess I’m just panicking as I know it’ll take a backseat once baby is here and from there onwards it’ll be extremely different so I just want to keep it exciting whilst we can!

OP posts:

Original poster

shheueuwgwuwge · 21/09/2021 13:37

Anyone ?

OP posts:

drizzleabit · 21/09/2021 13:44

I wasn't ever in the mood and couldn't find a good position, so after second trimester we did it about twice and don't think we did it at all in the third.

MinaPop · 21/09/2021 14:18

I think honesty is best. Just tell him you still want him to initiate but you'd prefer he picks a time when you're not too tired. Then make sure you mention how tired you're feeling any time you're really not in the mood.
I've gone right off sex physically since about 20 weeks. But once we start I get into it. As well as wanting to meet DH's needs, I also need sex for the emotional connection, so I do still want to, it's just my body doesn't! So slightly different to you, but I've been honest with DH and it's helpful he understands what I'm feeling.

Heruka · 21/09/2021 14:23

I had a bit of an increase in sex drive when pregnant, weirdly. Yes a bit inelegant though! Although I gained lots of weight, I felt quite sexy when pregnant, I definitely got the glowing hair and skin thing and I love having a taught non wobbly belly that I didn’t need to suck in!! Although first trimester nausea definitely was off putting. But yes, fell off a cliff post baby. I think you just need to talk to him about what you are feeling- it’s all about intimacy and communication, even if the sex doesn’t happen.

ShoesEverywhere · 21/09/2021 14:55

I was thinking of getting the LoveHoney advent calendar to keep December interesting...

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 21/09/2021 15:48

Having very little sex here. I've got a huge tummy, not many positions are comfortable, and I don't feel great as I've always been slim before. 1st trimester I had spotting, so we weren't allowed sex for most of it - I didn't miss it. I think my partner would like more, but honestly after I get home from work I'm knackered and nauseous and just not feeling all that up for it. I'm only 21 weeks, friends have said to try to make the most of the next month or two as after 30 weeks the baby is big enough to really feel it kicking on both of us and that sounds pretty off putting.

ReeseWitherfork · 21/09/2021 15:53

Don't put too much pressure on yourself. After I had my first I really craved sex for the intimacy. We waited a couple of months and took it super slow and then our sex life resumed as normal after a few months. My husband was really respectful afterwards, and it sounds like yours is the same. So don't assume sex goes out the window.

At some point in late second trimester, I was less tired and we celebrated by having a fair bit of sex. Fingers crossed it's the same for you!

LaTomatina · 21/09/2021 15:58

If you want to, do it. If you don't, don't. How lovely that your partner is understanding.

We did it quite a lot during the 2nd and 3rd trimester with the first pregnancy, because I really enjoyed it. With subsequent pregnancies I hardly ever felt like it, but that was probably because I was looking after toddlers as well by then so far more tired.

Kittykat93 · 21/09/2021 16:01

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7

Can't say I've ever consciously felt the 'baby kicking on both of us' during sex...don't know why your friends have mentioned that as I've never heard of that being an issue.

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 21/09/2021 16:17

@Kittykat93 I'm not sure, they said sex seemed to make baby very active and it was off putting feeling baby and stomach moving while trying to do things. Ruined the mood, esp for those whose partners were a bit put off anyway

willithappen · 21/09/2021 16:35

Very little sex here also. 24 weeks and I think we have done it max four times since being pregnant. Now that we know we are having a girl my partner seems a bit freaked out about having sex and knowing there's a baby there. Kind of kills the mood for him
He's been lovely about it though to be fair

Bells3032 · 21/09/2021 16:48

21 weeks here. It's definitely diminished. during 1st trimester didn't really between finding out at 7 weeks and around 12 weeks as was too scared!

Now it's generally once a week (from about 3 times a week pre pregnancy) and always him that initiates. I enjoy sex when we have it but just can take and leave it. never seem horny which is weird after having a good sex drive before.

Best positions for us have been: me on top (although feel a bit self councious now)me on the bed with him standing/leaning over me or - with some good lube - doggy.

Cannot manage missionary to save my life atm

shannonhinton0421 · 21/09/2021 21:09

@shheueuwgwuwge

Anyone ?

I was the exact same! I dreamt about but hated doing it the further along I got the worse it was. It just was not enjoyable for me. Although about 3 months pp my sex drive increased like never before it lasted about a month until my baby hit sleep regression at 4 months and I was just too tired. It's starting to come back and the sleep regression has ended for now lol.

Just be open with your partner maybe try and do things for him instead and I know everyone says it during pregnancy and even mother good but don't put too much pressure on your self. You're growing a whole human x

MrsGxx · 21/09/2021 21:33

If I’m being perfectly honest, I have a real high sex drive I could do it every night & day! But… I’m 26 weeks pregnant and I think we’ve done it 4 times!
We don’t put pressure on it and if I’m not feeling it, I’m not feeling it.
I’ve had loads of random sex dreams.. even one where I had erratic sex with a burglar😰😶‍🌫️😳🤯

I know when we have done it, I cannot go on top which is my fave position, makes me physically sick. I have to just lay on my side & it’s hard now because I’m so big! I feel more uncomfortable 🥵
My husband can give or take it to be honest plus we’ve all just had covid so we’ve been more exhausted than usual x

Willow19C · 21/09/2021 21:38

By the time you stop feeling so sick and tired, your belly is too big and in the way. Did it approx once whilst pregnant!

LairyFrogMother · 26/09/2021 06:19

32 weeks here and I WISH my partner wanted to have sex with me. He just doesn't make any effort anymore. It's making me feel unattractive and really alone.
Have tried talking to him. It's starting to feel like an exercise in humiliation (which I'm NOT into) and I'm about ready to give up on my sexual self. Which is sad, I've always had a high sex drive and I'm really quite upset about it. It doesn't seem to bother him.

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