Unplanned Pregnancy

[LauraAmy1985]

Hi, I'm 4 weeks pregnant and I'm considering an abortion as I have 3 children aged 16, 14, 11 from my previous partner, I'm worried about coping again I'm so ill with this pregnancy and I'm worried about the impact on my children aswell as they are very needy and I’m concerned at how my ex will react as he is narcissistic, my partner is not supporting this and is desperate to keep it, he already has an 11 year old daughter he doesn’t see for no fault of his own I thought myself and my children were enough for him and is making me feel torn as to what to do as after this I won't want another try as I feel this is it it's to much for me at 36 so it will be final for me, I can’t think eat or sleep I’m the worst distress I wish I’d never told him but I was more scared of lying and getting caught, I’ve got a telephone consultation Wednesday hopefully with the pills sent to me and I’m going to have to make out ive had a miscarriage, I desperately need help and no judgment please I’m scared out my mind

Hi op
I couldn't just read and leave.
I'm sorry you are feeling like this. Personally to me it's upsetting that you feel that you need to lie to your partner about ha living a MC when you are clearly not. I've lost babies through having a MC and it isn't nice. Luckily I have 2 daughters aged 13 and 7 and I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant with my son. I have big age gaps between my children that I didn't want but I see them all as blessings.

You need to think about what you both want to do rather then just how you feel. You don't know how your children will react. Your ex has no say in what you and your partner plan to do.

Please think first before you go ahead.

Sending best wishes

Thank you for your positive reply, I wish I felt different, I just don’t see myself wanting to carry on in this position, I have no support from family and I have no friends either and my partners family are not very nice people and I’ve also seen a side to my partner I don’t like since all this has happened, I will think more though

@LauraAmy1985
Listen it's totally up to you as it is your body but don't keep it a secret from your partner. Tell him that's what you want.
Keep me updated. I wish u all the best. You can always message on here and I'll reply back if you need advice or support

Thank you so much, I really do appreciate it, I’ve desperately tried to talk to him but he’s having none of it, he’s already told his parents and work colleagues when I told him not to, he just won’t listen to me at all

Your body, your choice and personally I think it’s fine to say you had a miscarriage if it makes things easier and less stressful for you. It’s no slight on other peoples experiences, this is about you. Take care and defo do what’s right for you x

I’m scared because I told him I wanted an abortion that he will find me out I’m trying to keep my emotions together but it’s so hard I’m so distressed

It sounds like this might be the end of your relationship with your partner anyway. I don't see how you could stay with him if his behaviour is like this.

It would also make me reassess anything he says about not seeing his daughter through no fault of his own.

It's your body, your life and your decision. He doesn't own you.

Please don't tell him you had a miscarriage it's really offensive to women who genuinely have had one. You're adult enough to have gotten pregnant - you're in your mid 30s for goodness sake - so you need to own the decision you make

Your partner sounds abusive so having a baby with him would not be a good idea anyway.

If you feel more comfortable saying you had a mc then do that. I have had two mcs and wouldn’t find it offensive. If you have to lie to protect yourself and get through it then do it. Good luck xx