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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Paternity Leave - HELP!

18 replies

K821 · 15/09/2021 21:18

Stressed and worrying - advice please!

My OH started a new job mid way through my pregnancy (around 17 wks) so is not eligible for SPP or leave. The company he works for closes for a week over Xmas so he is saving holiday for that. He doesn't have any other A/L available so as far as I know our only option would be for him to take a week or 2 of unpaid leave, which we can't really afford but I'm worried I won't be up for managing on my own straight away, especially if I have a difficult labour (😬) and i don't want him to miss out on the bonding opportunity. I don't have family nearby or who could take the time off instead.

I've been reading up on the Gov UK site but can't find solid answers. My questions are:
-Does his employer have to allow unpaid leave for paternity? (I belive the answer is no!)
-If they do, can we claim anything within that time?
-If they don't, what are my options?

We aren't eligible for the surestart mat grant as we don't claim any benefits (I won't even get started on how ridiculous that is!)

We have both paid in to the system for 15+ years and I find it a real shame we cany get more help just because he changed jobs, it's not like he has only just started working! We are not what I belive would be considered a low income family but are certainly not in a position to be able to be missing out on weeks of pay, as my mat leave will be a big enough hit to us.

Any advice much appreciated! 😁😘

OP posts:

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Mookie81 · 15/09/2021 21:19

People are gonna have a field day with this one...

Original poster

K821 · 15/09/2021 21:21

In what sense?

OP posts:

addictedtotheflats · 15/09/2021 21:25

Could you not have saved throughout the second half of your pregnancy to make up for the potential 2 weeks loss of pay?

Original poster

K821 · 15/09/2021 21:27

@addictedtotheflats

Could you not have saved throughout the second half of your pregnancy to make up for the potential 2 weeks loss of pay?

In an ideal world yes and if that had been the case I wouldn't be asking this question. As mentioned we aren't hugely well off so any spare money has gone on moving house and buying things for the baby.

OP posts:

Original poster

K821 · 15/09/2021 21:31

I am not asking for financial planning advice lol just curious of the experiences of others who have been in the same situation.

OP posts:

Chocolatebuttercream · 15/09/2021 21:34

If his work is closed over Christmas then surely he doesn't need to take it as leave??

alltheeights · 15/09/2021 21:51

He is definitely entitled to unpaid leave for paternity no matter when he started. But unfortunately not entitled to anything financially and there is nothing he can claim during the time.

I haven't worked since April due to not feeling safe at work (I was getting really tired and I was a driver) and I was foolish to think I would get a part time job till maternity leave. so I'm only entitled to maternity allowance, my other half's contract wasn't renewed due to a company change and he only started his new job a month ago (I'm 38w) so I feel your pain in trying to work out how we are going to pay bills etc. I'd love to live in these ideal worlds other posters live in 😂

My other half started his job at the beginning of august with 14d holiday but he also has to take 5d over Christmas for company shut down.

If your partner started for example 01.08.21 and his holiday year runs from 01.01.2021 he should have about 14+ days leave left?

jolota · 15/09/2021 22:35

Huh, I wasn't actually aware of this.
That basically means you or your partner can't change jobs when pregnant at all without forfeiting the right to any leave or pay. Does seem a bit harsh & I'm not sure I understand the logic of why you need to be employed for a certain amount of time to be able to get SPP/SMP.
It doesn't look like they have to allow him to take leave unpaid. Does his company require him to use his holiday for the closure over Christmas? My company does this too but due to the bank holidays that week only requires 3 days holiday.
It probably would have been sensible for him to keep back some holiday for after the baby was born, if he doesn't have any days left there's nothing you can do now though?

I'd be surprised if they didn't let him take the time off unpaid even if they're not obligated to (though he should probably prepare an answer for why he didn't save some holiday to make up for his paternity leave)
It doesn't really sound like there's much you can do except try & save between now & your due date (how soon is that?) and be prepared to tighten your belts financially for at least the month of the birth.
There doesn't appear to be an equivalent to the maternity allowance so there probably isn't any other money he can try to claim if he doesn't qualify for SPP.
You could try contacting the citizens advice bureau for confirmation?
I do feel for you, I'm 17 weeks pregnant now & my husband just signed a contract for a new job & I had no idea he wouldn't qualify for SPP/L due to this. He would have had to change jobs before I was ~8 weeks pregnant, lots of people don't even know they're pregnant by then!
We're in a better position in that he's moving to a company with much more holiday allowance than his current job & an enhanced paternity pay policy, which even if he doesn't qualify for now, the extra holiday will help instead. He was also miserable at his current job so it'll be worth it for him to actually be happy at work regardless but I am still kind of amazed, I had no idea this was a thing though & can't get my head round the logic of it.. the only part I sort of understand is companies not wanting to have to hold your job if you've only been there a few months before going on maternity leave.

alltheeights · 16/09/2021 00:33

Sorry my partner just told me he isn't entitled to paternity leave! His boss said he can take it unpaid but he wasn't entitled to it by law, Sorry if I confused things

LunaDreams · 16/09/2021 00:50

Similar situation- my partner is taking 2 weeks unpaid leave as no other options available. His new job didn't query giving it to him as unpaid so not sure whether they were obliged to or just reasonable!

Certainly going to be a financially tighter month that payday but we have tried to budget and will use savings to cover. Rubbish situation! As PP said, hadn't realised impact of him changing his job on SPP!

ShushShushShush · 16/09/2021 11:39

Similar thing happened to us a while back. Dh changed jobs and wasn't entitled to SPP and we couldn't afford for him not to work

I had an EMCS (after 30 hours labour) on the Monday and he went back to work on the Wednesday. (He was out of the house for 14 hours a day).

It wasn't ideal but my advice would be to get yourself set up like that's the outcome, and then anything else is a bonus.

Have ready meals in the freezer and make sandwiches before he goes to work so you've got a meal there in the day. Have lots of snacky stuff in the fridge that you can empty onto a plate without any preparation.

Get a caddy set up, one upstairs, one downstairs.with nappies, wipes, baby grow and vests, your medication, a 6 foot charger cable, bum cream, the TV remote, big bottle of water and juice, dummies, and snacks. Have a moses basket/cot set up, one up and one down. So there's always somewhere nearby for you to put the baby down whilst you go to the toilet, shower, get some food.

Have enough baby stuff washed and dried ready daily so that if you get through 15 baby grows, vests and cloths a day then it's OK. When dh walks through the door he can stick a wash on and make sure it's dried and ready for the next 24 hours. Same goes for sterilising bottles if you plan to formula feed.

Basically never sit down with the baby unless you're prepared to stay there for at least 2 hours!

mumofmunchkin · 16/09/2021 13:33

@Chocolatebuttercream

If his work is closed over Christmas then surely he doesn't need to take it as leave??

It's pretty common for it to be compulsory annual leave for employees over Christmas, ie the company is shut for the week and employees have to take x number of days of annual leave for it (normally with the bank holidays it's not too many days).

Chocolatebuttercream · 16/09/2021 13:34

Ah OK sorry thanks. Hospital shift worker here so very different.

mumofmunchkin · 16/09/2021 13:35

He needs to talk to his employer and find out what they'd be willing to do. My brother in law started a new job while my sister was pregnant, and they let him take two weeks annual leave after the baby was born even though he hadn't been there long enough to accrue that much - he just had it in advance.

pottermag · 16/09/2021 18:18

@ShushShushShush what brilliant advice (in general!)

stormelf · 16/09/2021 19:53

With my first child my husband had changed jobs mid pregnancy and wasn't entitled to paternity leave. His employer allowed him to take a week leave after the baby was born even though he wasn't sure if he had that amount of holiday entitlement. If he hadn't have been able to take it as paid holiday he would have taken it as unpaid.

CatTerrier · 16/09/2021 20:08

If you can afford it, take some off unpaid. If you can't, then he'll just have to pitch in before and after work.

I had a difficult birth with my second and ended up with a raging infection on top of the pain of forceps/stitches but children's tv, biscuits and some appropriately prescribed drugs and we got through it!

MeadowHay · 16/09/2021 20:47

Tbh unless there's a huge pay disparity here that would have massive long term financial consequences for your family, which seems like it would be very unlikely, I'd rather be budgeting for DH to take two weeks unpaid leave and cut my own mat leave short by a couple of weeks to account for that money if needed. My DH took 3 weeks last time - he was a student (no income, just a £5k a yr bursary) and uni agreed he could take that time, and that was a struggle for me as it was. This time he is going to take 4 weeks and he also changed jobs during my pregnancy - no choice as was previously on a temp contract which was not extended and he was offered this permanent job instead. His employer have said he can take 2 weeks pat leave on full pay - not sure if they just haven't realised he's ineligible or its just a goodwill gesture. And he is going to take 2 weeks annual leave too.

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