Bad experience with no 1 / home birth for no 2 ?

[Panda368]

Currently 29 weeks and realising that baby no 2 is actually going to have to come out some time.

I had a pretty unpleasant experience with my 1st. Was transferred from birth centre to labour ward at 9.5cm after about 30 hours of long pre labour and about 8 hours of 'official' labour for having a very marginally raised temp I think it was 0.1 over the birth centres line. This is fair enough obviously they have regulations.

On labour ward I was strapped to a monitor and forced onto my back. I wasn't allowed back up again as baby then went into distress.
Emergency cord pulled
Room full of people
Lots of shouting at me / me screaming and fighting the midwife who was holding my legs shouting in my face.

2x failed attempts to get baby out with ventouse - both times the cap got pulled so hard it fell off his head.
He came out by himself after that and was fine.
They put him on my chest and I felt nothing and didn't feel anything else for about 4 months.

DP was convinced baby was going to be born dead so is also scarred by the experience.

The idea of going into hospital is really frightening me at the moment.

DP thinks I should go in and get an epidural and it will be much calmer but I am so scared of being stuck on my back again and frightened of a needle in my spine.
I am so scared of going to the birth centre again and coming across the midwife who transferred us - (all the others at mat centre were great all day, this midwife - I really got the vibe she couldn't be bothered and didn't want to be there) I still get flashbacks to his birth when Im feeling low - I was also date-raped as a student and being on my back gives me flashbacks to this, its not something I ever thought much about before but the memories have meshed in my mind.

I don't know if i want a home birth or if I'm just so scared of going back into hospital that that feels like the best option. DP doesn't like the idea because a transfer from home to hospital will 100% be worse than a transfer within the same hospital which I agree with although I think the call to transfer would probably be made much earlier in the case of a home birth.

I don't want to get stuck on the labour ward after and DP be sent home, I've been looking for the current covid rules but nothing is clear on what will happen.

Im likely to be strep B positive.
Im also currently a bit anaemic - don't know how anaemic
Im currently flagged as high risk - I think for the previous PND/PNA but it's not actually clear as there is nothing physically wrong with me or baby. So would I even qualify for home birth?

I know i need to ask my midwife all these questions at my next appt but I guess my question is about peoples experiences with 2nd babies and going on to have home births and how those went or experiences going back into the hospitals where you had a bad experience the 1st time round?

@PinkPlantCase yes there is a home birth team attached to the hospital.

Before I had my first my midwife even suggested it and said I was a good candidate so I will see what she says tomorrow.

I spoke to my midwife. She is checking the availability of the home birth team and is getting back to me.

She seemed unconcerned about my iron levels and is arranging for me to be swabbed for GBS at 37 weeks - so I now have 6 weeks to do everything to make sure I don’t have it..

I think the local team don’t administer antibiotics for gbs at home birth so if I was positive I would have to go to hospital and would also have to stay for 24 hours post birth for observation which sounds like a nightmare. I could decline the antibiotics or maybe some kind of work around but I think I can discuss that at a later date with the hb midwives or work something out.

The hospital counsellor also rang me today and we have another call on Tuesday so I should also be able to discuss options and birth plans with her.

Sounds great! I’ll keep fingers crossed for a negative GBS result for you. Good luck

I had a bad first birth ending in a cs and booked a cs for my second who actually ended up being a VBAC. I was strapped to the monitor but it didn’t bother me because I could see she was ok in there. Ds was getting distressed in my first labour. As I knew she was ok and I didn’t have to worry about her I could get on with pushing.
My iron levels were very low. They took bloods in labour when I arrived at hospital and then the following day as I hadn’t lost much this time I was just sent home and told to keep up the iron tablets.

I had a really traumatic birth experience with my 1st and currently 35 weeks with my second. Did a LOT of research into how to not let me birth go how it went last time (sounds similar to you - went okay albeit a bit long until a certain point then basically pinned to the bed in a room full of people and baby forced out, baby then in nicu as a result
Of traumatic birth). I found a really good Instagram page and hypnobirthing course birth’ed. Best £40 I’ve spent! All online videos and its 100% helped me feel confident in my choices and what I want as opposed to what was actually just forced on me last time without explaining!

Have a visit of the Home Birth UK Facebook group, there is a wealth of knowledge on there.

You don't have to "qualify" for a home birth. You can be advised to have one or not but at the end of the day if that's what you choose, the midwives have to accommodate your wishes.

@HungryHippo11i think if I was strongly advised against home birth I wouldn’t do it.

I don’t want to layer on additional risk/stress and DP would be very very against the idea. He already hates the idea of a home birth but understands it’s my choice.

I think in terms of the strep b - I would weigh up the risks about going without antibiotics. My waters broke at 8/9 cm in my last labour (about 40mins before no1 was born) which I know reduces the risk so if that happened again I think I would stay home. I would go in if my waters broke very early on or I had any additional risk factors like a temperature etc
I will cross that bridge when I get my test results back though

I had my call with the hospital counsellor last week which I think was good I have another call next week with her so will see how it goes.

She seemed to think it was a trauma reaction as I teared up immediately even voicing that I was worried about being on my back.

She talked me through some grounding techniques which I guess might be helpful and I think she wants to call each week so hopefully things will improve and she might be able to help me with a birth plan.

I've still not heard back from the home birth team but I have my 32/33 week midwife appt next week so I can chase it up then.

@Panda368

I'm less than 15 min from the hospital.

No history of haemorrhage from last time obviously it is a risk but no greater than anyone else I think.

15 minutes is plenty of time to bleed out.

@JudgementalCactus the OP is clearly doing her research so not sure telling a pregnant woman she could bleed out in 15 minutes is helpful.

@Panda368 glad you’re getting such regular care and follow ups!

@JudgementalCactus

PPH - seems to affect about 10% of births in the UK. This is counted when bloodloss is estimated anything over 500ml
Minor PPH accounts for about 50% of these - so anything between 500 and 1000ml
Major is greater than 1000ml

So let's say 5% of all uk births there is a major PPH. 5 in 100.

Between 2012 and 2014 13 women died from PPH out of all the births in the UK. None of these deaths happened in a home birth setting.

I could die if very very unlucky. I could also die in hospital in that situation too.

Home birth midwives have equipment for dealing with PPH.

I have no risk factors for PPH.

Thanks for making me look up the stats, it's actually been reassuring.

I'm popping back to update on this.

I had an incredible home water birth in November 21.

Baby is coming up to 2 now and I had a night and day postpartum experience compared to my first birth.

I had no trauma despite the midwives not quite arriving in time - it would have been nice to have the gas and air but I didn't "need" it until they did the repair job and stitched me back up on my sofa afterwards.

It was an incredibly healing experience and I am glad I made every choice I made.