Dh 4 hours away with work, 39 weeks

[Senorasurf]

My dh works 45 mins from home with his own medium size business with a decent size staff cohort.

I'm now 38 weeks and he is travelling 4 hours tomorrow to deliver some kit for his work (only him and another director have the licenses to take the kit on the vehicles).

He's going up first thing in the morning and will be back late (previous years he's been away 7am-11pm). Signal is precarious up there.

Fwiw, they go up, drop off the kit, set up the kit, do a briefing for the participants and then take the staff out for dinner before driving home.

I wasn't impressed that he was planning to go but he has now told me he needs to go up the following week too in order to collect the kit. I will be 39+2 then. I'm worried about him being so far away and not being able to get back in time/having to come back mid journey/any other potential scenario involving labour.

My first dc was induced but labour was quick, only 6 hours. Am I being unreasonable asking him to try to make alternative arrangements for the collection of the kit? I think he is being blazé because dc1 was induced and therefore was more of a 'planned' scenario. He definitely doesn't think it's an any time now kind of thing.

I have do have great support here at home from my family if the worst happens.

Thoughts please? I'm not sure if I'm being hormonal, emotional and unreasonable.

No YANBU. I would ask him not to go next week.

My DC1 was induced at 40+ weeks. But DC2 was born naturally at 39 weeks. You just don’t know what will happen.

I was thinking you were just being a little hormonal /emotional (which is fair enough) till I saw your delivery speed last time.. It wouldn't be unheard of for you to half your delivery time.... So 3 hours which doesn't work if he is 4 hours away... Plus baby's can really pick the most inconvenient time for arrival

You definitely need a back up plan, when he goes can he drop off but not do the dinner and I think the other person needs to collect. I had DD at 38 weeks and was in labour for less than 5 hours, my waters just went and contractions started straight away. Me and DH were both surprised by how early and quick everything was.

I would carefully explain that this birth won’t happen the same as the last one, that you need his support just as much, and you know he can rearrange just doesn’t think it important enough to, but you will never forgive him if he isn’t there for you giving birth because he couldn’t be bothered making some other arrangements to pick the kit up.
My first was induced at 12 days over, second naturally at 9 days over and much shorter labour.

Thanks both- i feel like I'm being silly even thinking she might come early but also feels like I'm tempting fate! I know he's going to get defensive and try to justify going- so want to be sure of how I feel and what I want before I bring it up.

Madness. Ask him how he would feel if he missed the birth because it could happen that quickly.

@Miarara yes I agree

@timeisnotaline I definitely feel like it's inevitable it'll be just as quick if not quicker.

Ugh. Dreading talking to him about it

I also feel a bit frustrated that this hasn't been brought up sooner, he's known my due date for 9 months.... I would've thought it would be a no brainier that he couldn't do it

I was 32 hours with first (late) and just under 6 with 2nd child (who was early)... And that was from feeling fine with no symptoms to a 10lb delivery...

Not worth the risk IMO. You're being perfectly reasonable. You can't rely on being late/ induced again.

OP I had baby number two 2 weeks ago. My contractions started at 10pm but were completely bearable for 4 hours. I got up at 2am and they got really bad really quickly.
Baby was born 3 hours later. Please ask him to rearrange!

What gestation were you induced at last pregnancy?

I think you’d be perfectly reasonable to ask him to delay the second trip. I’d personally probably feel okay with him doing a trip at 38 weeks if you were induced at say, 41 weeks last pregnancy as I don’t think baby is particularly likely to come 3 weeks earlier than previous baby, but of course there are exceptions so if you do feel uncomfortable with it I’d ask him to rearrange both trips.

I had a 4 hour labour with my first and an 8 hour labour with my second. Both times things ramped up VERY quickly at the end. My partner nearly missed my first birth and we only live 20 mins from the hospital! It’s a very real risk and I don’t think you’d be unreasonable at all whatever you decide.

I guess he'll need to do the trip tomorrow as it's already arranged but I'd be expecting him to get someone else to pick up the kit next week as it's so near to your due date and 2nd babies often come sooner (mine certainly did - 13 hr labour for overdue DC1 and 50 minutes for DC2 who appeared unexpectedly at 35 weeks!)

Update- I've spoken to dh and he had already managed to find a couple of people to take the kit up in place of him. He's still going tomorrow but won't be going back next week

Thanks all for help