Work being slightly difficult

[MollySxx]

So to cut a long story short and I've posted my threads about my struggles with pregnancy losses. But I am now nearly 7 weeks, I had a scan on Thursday that showed heartbeat and was all in line and fine for this stage.

When I found out I was pregnant again I had a slight meltdown, my doctor signed me off work for 2 weeks leading up to my scan so I could rest. I asked to not put on the note pregnancy as I didn't want work knowing incase I had another miscarriage and it's just hard going in and explaining.

My note has now ran out and im back to work tomorrow. I won't give away where I work, but it's a supermarket and it's a LOT of work and the company wants your blood sweat and tears. I've spoke to my boss (she's new) after the scan and I've explained and I've also explained the medication I'm on and it's not your standard straight forward pregnant and all jolly. I've got a note off my doctor to explain light duties and not to work late night shifts. For example you could start at 12:30pm and not be out till 11pm. She's basically dismissed that note and said she didn't need it, and as of late nights she's said I have to. She's unwilling to cater to someone who can't work stock. She's now offered me to be the new cleaner but stay on my contract hours. But then followed with the bins are heavy duty but can I manage. It's really starting to frustrate me because she's not listening at all. She goes 100 miles a minute and I got about 3 words in our conversation. She also said when I have scans and I'm put in work can I get my shift covered before going to her about it. Which is fair. She then followed with its hassle but she'll let me go. Oh thank you for letting me go to my own scan🙄 I'm already dreading going back tomorrow

Occupational health might be useful as in my job they insisted on a risk assessment. I was a high risk pregnancy and couldn’t lift ect. I had a note from my consultant that covered me. My boss wasn’t happy, but it was what it was and quite frankly I wasn’t willing to put the job over mine or my babies health. Worked out well though I got signed off as my health wasn’t great! I have friends that worked in supermarkets and were till only, or moved to work in the cash office, maybe you could be moved from the shop floor?

I am sorry for your losses. I have also had many, many losses and was put on progesterone, aspirin, and also two further forms of medication. I think that the late nights shouldn’t affect the medication. I used to go to bed around 23.30 and get up at 05.30 for work and there was no issue in using the progesterone vaginally. Heavy lifting won’t hurt the baby at this stage, it only not recommend as your joints become looser and you can sprain something, but this only happens later on. It sounds more like the anxiety is a barrier rather than the physical difficulties, have you thought about a note going down that route rather than the pregnancy medication and lifting?

Congrats on your pregnancy & I think you are not being unreasonable! Your boss sounds awkward & unsupportive.

1. occupational health + risk assessment
2. companies maternity & sick policy?
3. after all that, if you aren’t ok with what they’re asking you to do, I’d go off sick. Your body, your choice. They don’t get to choose! If it helps you feel better you can explain your concerns to your area manager, sounds like hd might be more supportive. It’s difficult to stick up for yourself in the face of managers like this. I am also pregnant & my manager/director is doing everything (kindly) in his power to get me back at work ASAP after baby. Every week he brings it up multiple times; telling me ‘babies sleep a lot, you don’t need to be there, if all goes well you can come back ASAP’ and when I protest & explain he replies lightheartedly ‘aww it’s your first baby so you don’t know what to expect so you can’t possibly know what it’s going to be like yet so you can’t be sure you need a year off!’. Stay strong! Do what’s right for you & your baby. Good luck. xo

Thank you all for your advice! There's been a lot. I didn't expect it to get like this. Shall update today if my boss does the risk assessment

@sjxoxo

Congrats on your pregnancy & I think you are not being unreasonable! Your boss sounds awkward & unsupportive. 1) occupational health + risk assessment 2) companies maternity & sick policy? 3) after all that, if you aren’t ok with what they’re asking you to do, I’d go off sick. Your body, your choice. They don’t get to choose! If it helps you feel better you can explain your concerns to your area manager, sounds like hd might be more supportive. It’s difficult to stick up for yourself in the face of managers like this. I am also pregnant & my manager/director is doing everything (kindly) in his power to get me back at work ASAP after baby. Every week he brings it up multiple times; telling me ‘babies sleep a lot, you don’t need to be there, if all goes well you can come back ASAP’ and when I protest & explain he replies lightheartedly ‘aww it’s your first baby so you don’t know what to expect so you can’t possibly know what it’s going to be like yet so you can’t be sure you need a year off!’. Stay strong! Do what’s right for you & your baby. Good luck. xo

Congratulations🥰 and oh how they reminds me of my old boss. The guilt trips of it all. Fully take that year off and enjoy every minute. I know I'm taking the whole year without a doubt about it x

Hopefully when you have had a chance to explain your situation properly she will be more willing to accommodate your needs.

Try to be as agreeable as possible while staying within your safe limits. Are you happy to clean? If so agree but remind her that someone else will have to do the bins. Same with late shifts. Agree you are more than happy to be flexible but cannot work after 9pm (or whatever time)

If you are saying yes to as many things as possible it might make it easier for her to accommodate than if you go into the meeting and just say no.

Ask for a pregnancy risk assessment. This should help to frame your duties and gives you a work based document to refer back to if someone asks you do do something you can't.

Think you’ve had a name change fail there, OP.

@NavigatingAdolescence thanks for mentioning that! I changed my name last night thank you :)

Hi @MollySxx there is the union for supermarket and distribution workers www.usdaw.org.uk

I also work at a supermarket and do mostly lates, I feel your pain about them. As regards the pp who said what difference does it make, for me it's the exhaustion of not sleeping well, then not being able to get any sleep during the day and then being up and active until nearly midnight. I've been lucky not to have a medication routine to have to factor in as well, so I feel for you.

I've had a mixed bag of reactions to duties - usually depends on the manager/supervisor on shift each time as to what gets asked but I just counter with 'when I feel physically able to do something I absolutely will, but, if I tell you I am not able to it's because I can't and if you try and make me I will be going home and reporting it down as pregnancy related (which it would be). Shuts them up pretty quick I find.

Hope things get a bit better for you x

Did you sort things out with your manager.

Hope you came to an agreement

@WeGoAgain123 I did, my first day back was Sunday and I got my bearings back. A few bumps on that day as she asked me to pull out metal wooden blocks that hold the fruit and veg, I said that's not going to work. Monday I pushed for the risk assessment to be done and she did it. I aired my opinions and what I'm comfortable with. She's giving me a months trial on the cleaning duties and I've expressed I'll be doing what I feel comfortable with. I'm not sure why, but she also said she doesn't want anyone in the workplace to know I'm pregnant, she's said she's told management I'm on light duties and that's the extent of it. I think that's slightly bizarre how she's gone about that. Thank you for asking☺️

I haven't really posted a response on this thread as many people were judging. I did ask for opinions/advice, not to be judged on my wants and needs