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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When is a newborn baby ‘robust enough’ to meet people?

69 replies

TravellingJack · 09/09/2021 17:35

Just wondering what other people are planning with their newborns! I’m due in a few weeks (so nicely timed for flu season starting up on top of everything else 🙄) and have had a few conversations with my DP about when the baby will get to meet people - family and friends.

Part of me thinks not for a good few weeks unless we get people to do a lateral flow test first… but otoh DS is at primary school so is going to be bringing fresh bugs home every day! He’s already on his second cold of term (we’re in Scotland so back since mid-Aug).

Other than hand-washing which we asked people to do when DS was brand new, what else is worth bothering with, considering DS is at school and after a couple of weeks, DP will be back at work with the public? Do we e.g. ask people to wear a mask if they want to hold the baby for the first week or three… or not bother with any extra measures? I’m not terribly anxious about this, just wanting to hear other thoughts.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

VerveClique · 09/09/2021 19:14

Another one of these today -

They say it takes a village to raise a child... and then people don't want the village.

If newborn is born at term and is well, and visitors are ostensibly well, haven't smoked and have washed their hands, then I would go with it.

I would be devastated if a close family member had a baby and then hid it away like this.

lils088 · 09/09/2021 19:18

I'm in the same boat! Due in 2 weeks! We will allow close family ( our parents/ siblings & very close Friends to meet the baby soon after birth)
As others said .. We also have an 18 month old who goes to nursery and brings home all sorts of viruses 😔 so no one will be more dangerous than our toddler. Super nervous about the baby catching a virus from my toddler though

fruitsaladyummyummy · 09/09/2021 19:27

I had a baby in December so peak of tier 3 restrictions and family seen him the next day (as in about an hour after we brought him home). DD was 14 month and in nursery so if anyone was bringing germs home it was her. DS did seem to have a runny nose & cold the first few weeks of his life but he was fine and hasn't been plagued by the standard weeks of illness when starting nursery as he's already been exposed. DD had visitors at 45 minutes old (born a few months before covid).

user908768543 · 09/09/2021 19:33

Good luck OP, you're the first woman to give birth at the start of flu season, let us know how it goes.

KurtWilde · 09/09/2021 19:39

From birth.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 09/09/2021 19:40

@VerveClique

Another one of these today -

They say it takes a village to raise a child... and then people don't want the village.

If newborn is born at term and is well, and visitors are ostensibly well, haven't smoked and have washed their hands, then I would go with it.

I would be devastated if a close family member had a baby and then hid it away like this.

Devastated is a strange reaction, I can see a person might be a little disappointed not see a newborn baby but surely no stronger emotion than that

It's not your baby and it's not being hidden away, what an emotive way to describe precautions during a pandemic

Personally I'd be out and about on day 1 health of mum and baby permitting but that's me and what I did during normal times

No need to make your mind up now @TravellingJack, why not wait and see how you feel?

PainAuChocowhat · 09/09/2021 19:48

My DD arrived just as lockdown #1 was lifted last year and she had met most of her family by the age of 2 weeks. Would have been sooner if they had lived closer than 2+ hours drive away.

WheelieBinPrincess · 09/09/2021 20:06

I’m not planning on any kind of cotton wool bubble. I’m having mine on Tuesday. We don’t have anyone locally anyway but they’ll see the baby from a week old or so. Waiting more out of concern for me as I’ll have had a c-section and be all leaky and getting to grips with feeding etc then whether the baby is ‘robust’ enough- I’m sure he will be fine being passed around for a few cuddles. I don’t know anyone who would come and visit a newborn baby if they were ill themselves.

Elisemum · 09/09/2021 20:09

@VerveClique hmm you would be devastated really? That’s a bit over the top, any new mum has every right to do what’s she thinks is best for her and her baby! If she wants she can have visitors 2 mins after birth or 2 months… fists pregnancy I had visitors straight away and honestly I was still recovering from a section and I wasn’t too happy about it yet I didn’t say a word as I didn’t want to hurt peoples feelings… this time (section in 3 weeks) I will very clearly and loudly say to any one that wants to see me straight after that I will let them now WHEN IM READY. If someone’s will be selfish enough to be devastated by this then it’s their problem, not mine.

DocAutumn · 09/09/2021 20:36

I would not mind if someone said 'no visitors for 2 months'. Basically it saves me having to visit at all and saves me having to get a baby gift. I would not be rushing round yelling 'at last' when the visiting ban was lifted.

mariebaby3 · 09/09/2021 20:42

We had grandparents visit during the 2nd week but that was only because we were in hospital for a week after dds birth. I am nervous about covid but I couldn’t imagine not having my mum and Dhs mum meet her for so long. Extended family members and friends we have met outdoors to keep it a bit safer.

boymum88 · 09/09/2021 20:44

Do what Eva you feel happy with my 2nd ds was born in April so some rules still applied, we only had family and a couple of close friends visit but that was after two weeks and all did lateral flow before coming and kept the rooms well ventilated
I also wouldn't want loads of visitors when ur trying to learn how to be parents to ur new baby ( even if it is ur 2nf dc)

Lilyfalls · 10/09/2021 10:24

Posters who think Op is overreacting. There is a thread about a baby in hospital with bronchitis. This is what happened to my baby girl. Honestly it’s not just about covid, viruses are bad this year. You can’t be too careful with a tiny baby.

blindmelon123 · 10/09/2021 10:39

Definitely restrict who comes, I regret having too many visitors last time. A baby isn’t an object to be passed around and your priority has to be protecting your family. I’m having a baby at the end of October and we’ve been told to shield as a household from 36 weeks so that my husband can be present at the birth. I’m planning to have grandparents only for the first few months and asking them to test before they come. Do what feels right and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty! Trust your mum instincts x

Lazypuppy · 10/09/2021 10:40

We had visitors from the day after dd was born. I couldn't imagine waiting a few weeks

WheelieBinPrincess · 10/09/2021 10:41

@blindmelon123 are you and your husband CEV? I can’t imagine why you’d be told to shield for an entire month in the run up to a due date

My baby is coming on Tuesday and I had a pre-op appointment for the c-section today. I now have to shield but my husband doesn’t have to do anything of the sort, although he will be very cautious over the weekend.

blindmelon123 · 10/09/2021 10:47

No it’s just on the advice of my hospital - chelsea and Westminster - if he tests positive he can’t attend the c-section. Some hospitals seem to be more relaxed though!

WheelieBinPrincess · 10/09/2021 10:50

Some people are still going out to work at 36 weeks, I was. So I’m sure is just advice although it seems extreme if you have vaccinations. My friend is at C&W and hasn’t been told anything like that, her baby is due in a fortnight. I’m over at Queen Charlotte’s and they’re saying nothing of the sort there.

2021mumma · 10/09/2021 10:58

My baby is 2 weeks old, we are having visitors but have told friends and family to come alone and not in mass (leave their children at home) I have also told them if anyone ill not to come and we can rearrange, wash hands and do lateral flow. I might be super paranoid but doing what I can to protect my baby.

LittleMysSister · 10/09/2021 11:03

@MyMabel

SIDS

IT INCREASES THE RISK OF SIDS

NOT AIDS. Ffs autocorrect.

LOL actually laughed out loud at this.

OP please tell people they can't hold your baby in case they give them aids.

Original poster

TravellingJack · 10/09/2021 11:06

Ha, some of these replies are exactly why I didn't post in AIBU!

I am honestly not terribly worried myself - we've both had both vaccine doses, being as careful as feels comfortable, but don't think we're overdoing it in that respect - I've certainly not been hiding myself away! Other than me wfh, as has been the case since March 2020, we're all going about our lives as normal... It's more that I've recently had a few conversations with friends and family who either are pretty anxious about everything these days (DM in particular) or are simply curious about what we intend on doing. Before it was brought up, it hadn't really occurred to me or DP that we'd need any 'special Covid rules for the baby' - a phrase used by one of my friends at the weekend, who said she would of course test before visiting and wear a mask while here, which I was a bit surprised by, hence me wondering what other people in the same boat are thinking.

OP posts:

FTEngineerM · 10/09/2021 11:09

We have immune systems, they got us to this point where we think we’re somehow better than them…

It’s fine.
Don’t make it harder on yourself than necessary, have people over swooning over your beautiful new baby!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 10/09/2021 11:16

My younger DDs 1st week of life went like this...
Friday... born at home
Sunday... sent to children's A&E with unexplained rash... thankfully just extreme baby acne
Monday... toddler sister comes down with D&V. So I was trying to look after sick toddler and newborn at the same time.
Thursday... taken on preschool run for first time, causing great excitement.

She had visits from both sets of grandparents and her cousin in that time.

So actually... I understand wanting to protect them a bit. But they have immunity from you, and mild exposure helps build their immune systems. She had no adverse effect from her sisters D&V bug for example.

Reduceddutiesboredom · 10/09/2021 11:21

@blindmelon123
Curious as to where you’re giving birth and why you’d both need to shield four weeks before due date?
I’m due in November and there’s been no mention of isolating before, as long as DH (or whoever I wanted to be with me) doesn’t have covid they’re allowed in hospital with me.

blindmelon123 · 10/09/2021 11:26

@Reduceddutiesboredom at C&W, the guidance is on their website and my obstetrician said the same. The reason is to reduce the risk of your household testing positive for covid in advance of your hospital stay (I’m having an elective cs) as their policy is not to allow birth partners onto the post Labour ward, which seems reasonable to me. I know other hospitals don’t have the same policy.
Not a big deal for us as husband is working from home and toddler isn’t at nursery yet. But I can see how it might be unfeasible for those in different circs.

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