Terrified to be pregnant again. Has pregnancy put you off more children ?

[Tigersparklespink]

I am so lucky to have conceived and be pregnant . I am 34 weeks and I feel like my mental health is the worse it has been . I won’t go into detail but I don’t think I could ever face being pregnant again but I believe that i would love more children . Has anyone not had more children due to the challenges / stress / illnesses associated with pregnancy? It has anyone thought they wouldn’t get pregnant ever again but changed their mind ? My DD is 21 years older than me ( I’m 30) so if I want another baby we can’t wait forever. I feel like if I want another baby it has to be straight away and the thought of pregnancy so soon terrifies me . Please know I realise how lucky I am to be able to conceive .

It’s a total privilege to get pregnant and have a baby. However, I wouldn’t want to do this to myself again and have to look after a small person so I’ve said no more. I had absolutely no clue how hard pregnancy was going to be.

The complete opposite happened to me. Before I was pregnant (for my entire life before it) I used to think being pregnant would be awful. I imagined the whole thing would be painful and just a massive struggle. I dreaded the birth too and had a huge phobia of it but that’s another story! When I got pregnant at first I kept thinking this isn’t too bad, this is manageable but I always presumed the awful bit would be just round the corner. Somehow I got all the way to the end and never once was it bad or painful. I didn’t have a sore back and it didn’t hurt to walk. It was the total opposite of everything I thought it would be and I actually almost liked it! Every pregnancy is different so for all you haven’t had a good experience this time, you might be completely fine next time. Maybe speak to the birth reflections service at your hospital after your little one is born to discuss any risk factors etc and see if anything is likely to reappear next time. Good luck

It took me until DD was 3.5 before I was willing to contemplate pregnancy again. I was very sick and I just hated the whole thing. When she was a bit older and in nursery f/t it was easier to manage. But being totally honest, if DH hadn’t been so keen for a second I would have been happy with one DC. What helped was making plans - knowing how badly the first pregnancy affected me and then having plans for how to manage it a second time around (like working from home more, DC in nursery, DH taking more time off, family helping a bit more etc)

Currently 35 weeks with my 2nd, my ds is 20 months. I’ve not enjoyed either pregnancy, I of course wanted nothing else than to have my beautiful children but I’ve found pregnancy tough especially this 2nd pregnancy and it has definitely put me off having anymore. I feel incredibly grateful to be able to have had these two pregnancies but that will be it for us as it has taken it’s toll phyisically and mentally this time and I’m glad to be near the end. Despite all of this it was when my first boy was 1 year old and I got the huge urge to have another one which is why I’m pregnancy again, so even though my first was tough I do feel like I forgot about it at that point.

I knew as soon as the morning sickness hit with my second I did not want to do it again. I felt rough through the whole pregnancy and when I had a pregnancy scare at 9 months postpartum the thing that distressed me the most at the time was the prospect of feeling ill for another 9 months. I don't know if my first pregnancy was easier or if it just seemed so because I was more able to rest.

Its far from the only factor but it's a big one. I've said to DH if he could carry a baby I might be persuaded to have more but no way am I putting myself through another pregnancy.

I had a hideous first pregnancy and swore I'd never go through that again. I pretty much had every negative symptom you can imagine (HG, GD, SPD... to name just a few).

Changed my mind because I loved my DD so much and got pregnant again. My second pregnancy was completely different! It was totally normal, just the usual complaints.

So, I'd say don't assume a second pregnancy will definitely be as bad as the first.