Fuck I am pregnant - what do I need to know?

[LemonSwan]

Found out yesterday I am pregnant. Digital test said 5 weeks + . Cant be that far along as had a period c. 6 weeks ago.

Trying to research about this as wasn't planned.

Theres so much to read! I found out about the folic acid tablets.

Overwhelming - what other basics do I need to do?

You are counted as pregnant from the first day of your last period. I'd take vitamin d too

You don't really need to do anything until you're about 8 weeks. Scan and booking appointments are about 12 weeks.

Firstly, congratulations!

Also, work out your due date and get yourself over to the right Mumsnet birth club (they're done by due month). Mine were invaluable for both my DC and, nearly a decade later, I'm still in regular contact with lots of the mums from the one I joined when pregnant with DD.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_clubs

FWIW, my wonderful now-12 year old was a complete surprise!

@dementedpixie

You are counted as pregnant from the first day of your last period. I'd take vitamin d too

Yes, this. So when you've actually only been pregnant for 5 minutes, if your last period was 2 weeks before, you're officially "2 weeks pregnant" which is odd but that's how they do it.

(Is that how the tests work too?)

No the tests date from date of conception so you need to add 2 weeks onto whatever date they give

Pregnacare vitamins are good

(Is that how the tests work too?)

To be clear, I mean the digital ones, do they start at 2 weeks? (Don't they say 1-2 weeks pregnant as one of the options? Would there really be enough pregnancy hormones if they were counting from last period?!)

Sorry to derail, OP, and I:m confusing myself here I think!

@dementedpixie

No the tests date from date of conception so you need to add 2 weeks onto whatever date they give

Cross post!

Thanks pixie.
I got the pregnacare original vitamins. They have 10ug Vit D, but thats not that much is it?

Thanks theworldishard
Scan is at 12 weeks! Jees thats earlier than I thought

I am a smoker and avid caffeine taker so I do have a lot of things I feel I need to do asap. I have cut down since I found out last night but think I will need support asap for nicotine supplementation.

Its made me realise I have not been living particularly healthilty and its worrying me what else thats not so obvious am I missing,

10ug of vitamin D is the recommended amount
Yes I'd ask for support for cutting down/giving up smoking - maybe contact your gp

shesellsseacats

Thanks for the congratulations [embarassed]

But I will be honest, it doesnt feel that joyous at the moment. Its more like freaking out that my smoking/ drinking/ caffeine / not taking folic acid etc. etc. might have harmed the baby.

Can this happen by 5/6 weeks?

think I will need support asap for nicotine supplementation.

Get onto your GP asap. If they're anything like mine, they'll be falling over themselves to help, mine are on an anti-smoking drive, they give DP nicotine replacement for free.

I gave up when I found out I was pregnant too. I'd never been able to manage it before.

Thanks shesells

How long did you cut down over?

I was smoking normally yesterday (c. 10 roll ups) and today had two cigarettes just the start - say 3 drags and 1 full one. So maybe 1.5 cigarettes?

How quickly did you go? or just cold turkey?

@LemonSwan

shesellsseacats

Thanks for the congratulations [embarassed]

But I will be honest, it doesnt feel that joyous at the moment. Its more like freaking out that my smoking/ drinking/ caffeine / not taking folic acid etc. etc. might have harmed the baby.

Can this happen by 5/6 weeks?

Very, very, very unlikely.

For the first couple of weeks, the embryo isn't even implanted, they're just kinda swimming about in there!

Loads of women find out they're pregnant and think "oh fuck but I've been drinking and smoking like a trouper!" and worry themselves sick about it (I know I did!) and the baby is absolutely fine.

Perhaps someone more knowledgeable can confirm but I think the risk at this age is more miscarriage than something awful happening to the development of the baby.

Have a chat with your doctor about the smoking but please try not to worry, you're in very good company with this one!

@LemonSwan

Thanks shesells

How long did you cut down over?

I was smoking normally yesterday (c. 10 roll ups) and today had two cigarettes just the start - say 3 drags and 1 full one. So maybe 1.5 cigarettes?

How quickly did you go? or just cold turkey?

I was lucky that I'd already managed to cut down to only smoking in the evenings and was on only about 3 or 4 rollies a day.

I had one more to calm my nerves, they day after I found out, before I rang the father to tell him I was pregnant (we weren't even together at the time!) and then I went cold turkey.

I obsessed about cigarettes for about 2 weeks, it was pretty much my only topic of conversation! But after those first 2 weeks it got much easier.

Thanks seashell

Probably the first person to ever wish for morning sickness because I think thats going to make it much easier for me to quit.

Wow very impressive

Welldone you!

Right I will have to ring the GP on Monday and get a plan together.

Congratulations!
The NHS website and Start4Life offshoot have pregnancy info (what not to eat, development etc) and there are also apps like Bounty to walk you through it. And I second the suggestion to join the mumsnet birthclubs. Hope you have a lovely pregnancy.

@LemonSwan

shesellsseacats

Thanks for the congratulations [embarassed]

But I will be honest, it doesnt feel that joyous at the moment. Its more like freaking out that my smoking/ drinking/ caffeine / not taking folic acid etc. etc. might have harmed the baby.

Can this happen by 5/6 weeks?

Only not taking folic acid can cause harm this early on, but it is really incredibly unlikely that there will be a problem, and if you take a general vitamin or eat fortified foods like cereal or bread they have folic acid added (for this exact reason)

If your BMI is 30+ you'll need to ask your GP about high strength folic acid so if that sounds like you, ring them tomorrow and ask for a prescription for that.

Other than that...just don't drink, try and cut back on the fags til you get support to quit if you need it, and try not to panic. You'll love your little baby and it'll all come out in the wash!

Only not taking folic acid can cause harm

You're right I focused on cigs and booze.

It's not exactly true that not taking folic acid causes harm though.

It is true that taking folic acid has been shown to significantly reduce the risk of spina bifida so it's worth taking once you know you're pregnant or if you plan to get pregnant.

It's a teeny tiny risk though; the vast majority of women who find out they are pregnant unplanned (and this is a huge number of women!) have a perfectly healthy baby.

Thanks all,
rung GP and the earliest they see anyone is 10 weeks.

Also have to wait a week and a half for smoking clinic.

Now this is all settling in slightly - I have been researching childcare etc for when I go back to work. Trying to figure out exactly how broke we will be.

And what do people do between the ages 1-3? I assume maternity covers most of up to 1, and there is free childcare at 3-4. But how do people survive 1-3?

It's pricey!!

The cost of childcare in this country is a scandal. Many other european countries are a lot more supportive to families, (and mothers in particular as the burden usually falls on us).

However, we do all muddle through somehow!

You used to be able to get help with childcare costs through Child Tax Credits, which were an in-work benefit. That's been replaced by Universal Credit now (unless you already claim Tax Credits, in which case you can still get it I think.

Use a calculator like EntitledTo to see if you're entitled to anything towards childcare: www.entitledto.co.uk

Personally I managed by going part time, and my DP rearranging his hours (self employed) to minimise the number of childcare hours we needed.

I also managed to take a mortgage holiday when I was on Mat leave as I found out (totally by accident!) that my morgage allowed this. Have a look at the T&Cs on your mortgage if you have one, in case it does. This allowed me to save a buffer that helped with the reduced income.

FWIW I've never gone back to working full time! I'm doing 4 days a week now, which is the most I've done for years, I've been on 3 days for ages. I much prefer it!